I have learned a few things…..

And at my advanced age too. heh! Apparently even though Hubby is almost a year older than me, Little Miss still finds me old and hubby is still cool. Her friends are the same way….Little friend of  Miss’ said she figured hubby was like 30….HAHAHAHA!!! ( I say she thinks he is cute and is sucking up. Crush time!) Where she figured me at 35…..GGRRR BRAT. But still figured me as younger than I actually am, sooooo…… But anyway, I have learned a few things and I wanted to share with you my new found knowledge…….

1……. Some people can just get deals anywhere………..And not just free underwear at Victoria’s Secret  (Janet is so lucky!!!) or coupons and sales to get really cheap stuff (.19, that’s 19 CENTS at Walgreen’s, like Holly). My brother called to complain to the satellite company that my parent’s remote didn’t work. And before he got off the phone, not only did they have a new remote coming they had ALL the movie channels for FREE for 3 months!!!!! I asked him how in the hell did he manage that and he said I just asked if they had any deals to offer…. HUH?!! I never get deals like that.

2……. Don’t die or be buried on the weekends!!!!! OK, maybe you can die on the weekend but don’t be buried on the weekend. Sorry SOBs at the cemetery WILL charge your family overtime to dig the grave. Oh, Yes. They will…..300 bucks for 20 minutes of backhoe time!!!!! They are all about being there for you and making this easier for you….Then when you say you do, in fact, have plans for a graveside service….OH, the eyes they light up! Then it is all about the money. And if they say you will get 2 tents and chairs, you damn well better be out there counting before the graveside services, because we didn’t get our 2 tents and only got 12 chairs…. Sorry Sons of Bitches!

3…… If you ask a funeral director if the price is negotiable they will look at you like you have sprouted feathers and get fairly pissed. No it wasn’t me! My brother asked, hey Dad would have too. The guy almost fell over and then informed him that UH, No it WASN’T. I guess not everything is negotiable. The best part was my brother asked if we “heard” that, then informed us it was dad falling off the table over the cost. AH HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

4…… It takes someone “special” to be a funeral director. No really it does. Ours was a cross between a con artist and a game show host. I kept expecting him to offer us what was behind door number 2.

5……. If when left alone at the funeral home, the whole family is cracking jokes about the people and laughing….. the people there will look at you funny. I think they were afraid of us.

6……. My mother has a mouth and has learned how to use it…… Case in point………. As we were leaving the funeral home and with the funeral director still within hearing range, she says, “Don’t you use this place when I die. Bury me here because we have the plot, but shop around for a better deal.” She has always been sssoooo nice, she was pissed about the cost. She kept saying your dad is worth that and more, but that was ridiculous!!!! Which leads us to…..

7………I can’t afford to die anytime soon. Good Gravy!!!! I will say only this…..We did NOT go extravagant, we didn’t go with the cheapest either (That is what dad asked for…..Least expensive everything, but we would not put him in ugly, cheap looking casket) and OH. MY. GAWD!!!!!!! Middle of the line stuff here people! I swear they know you can’t just bury people in the back yard and they use it to their advantage! And they want their money NOW, not when the life insurance comes in. My brother asks what our financial options were… you know, pay part now, pay the rest later when the insurance comes in…..He was told…..Cash, Check, or Credit card. ASSHATS!!!!!

8…….Family comes to your house and gets on your nerves……..Aren’t they suppose to be there for support, to do the food thing and clean up for you? That is what I always thought anyway. My mom put out the food, I cleaned up the kitchen and they visited with each other and complained about their lives. HUH!???!!! And they can and will trap you in a corner and make you talk to them. Especially the nuts! On the day that I buried my father, do I really care if the church loves your food and you have told them you will no longer cook for them? Well, uh, NO!

9…….. Once family shows up….They won’t leave…….. We wanted a bit of time for OUR family to remember dad, in OUR way and not when everyone was so tired they just wanted to crawl into bed. I swear, they stayed and stayed and stayed and stayed some more! We had not gotten a lot of sleep the last few nights, for crying out loud, LEAVE at a decent hour. I will never be one of those people to go to the house and just keep sitting there. If I have done it in the past….I am SSSSOOOOO sorry and I will never do it again!

10……. And finally………. It is the small things that matter most. Not the huge ass flower arrangements, the number of meals that are brought (which I loved, because I swear I did not cook for a week), or any of that showy stuff that screams look at what I did for you. But the hugs from family from out of the blue, the texts of support, the closeness that somehow came back, seeing friends that you haven’t seen in eons, and sharing memories of times forgotten.  So if you get nothing from this post but one thing……Take this with you…… Do the small stuff. Call just to say HI. Keep in contact with people, even if it is just a quick note to check in. And don’t be stingy with those hugs.

I swear I am trying to get back in the groove of this whole blog thing. Finding time here lately has seemed to be the problem, well that and a decent post. Hang in there, I will get my groove back. Until next time…………..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I am LATE!

Still having trouble getting started sometimes. I swear it is Hubby’s fault, no, really it is. He is spoiling me to no end and I find myself becoming ever more lazy with each passing day. I  know I didn’t really post an update last week, well, I did but it was for the week or two before. But really outside of my getting spoiled, the whole week is somewhat of a blur. We went to mom’s a lot. We ate at mom’s a lot. Yes, that southern tradition of  food makes everything better…. it is alive and well. Mostly good food, some just barely edible, but for the most part, good food. So most every night mom would say, ya’ll are coming to help me eat this food, right? And, of course, we would show up and eat her food.

Over that week, there was a lovely transformation. Actually there was a few….

MIL hugged me and yes, it was painful for her. I swear I thought I was the only one who noticed, but hubby even had to comment about the look on her face being one of pure pain. But I will admit, she did it twice. I didn’t have a stroke, but I swear I did go into shock. I would have sworn those little shocking paddles where in my near future. heh!

Red told me she loved me and if I needed her, I knew where she was. Even told me if I just needed to scream to let her know. Damn had the perfect opportunity and let it go. Can you imagine all of the anger of the last few years I could have gotten out?! I do have to admit, most of Red’s problems with me go directly back to MIL, so it is no wonder she can’t decide if I am a likable person or not.

SIL, well, she is the same. Supportive and there if I need her. We have only had trouble once since she decided I wasn’t the devil incarnate that was marrying her brother.

My FIL…. Bless his heart was going to the visitation, until my MIL told him he had no business there. *cough* bitch *cough*. I never expected him to go, I guess I might have died from the pure shock of him showing up. He has even *gasp* spoke to me! He is the quietest man on Earth. He called me by name (Not, Hey, you.) and asked how my mom was doing. He is a sweetheart, but he doesn’t have a lot to say to me. OK, he grumbles about MIL to me, but usually nothing real personal.

My brother…..What can I say….Mr. I can’t make a decision without asking 4 million people their opinion, has stepped up and is running the show. He is taking daddy’s place in the household. A good thing and a bad thing. He is worried about momma’s financial future and wants to make decisions about what to do, only it is MOMMA’S financial future and her decisions to make. He is calming a bit. I know it is hard for him, he just wants to take care of momma.

And Hubby……..He has had the biggest transformation of all the rest. In 22 years of marriage, he has never called my momma, Momma or Mom, or Mother, or anything like that. He calls her Mom now. He has never told her he loved her. He tells her every time he sees her now.

He is actually getting along with my brother. He has called him on the phone! They have never had a problem…They are just 2 very different people and never attempted to try to be anything but my brother and my husband. I swear they may actually become family. It scares me….. But they have something in common now….. protecting and taking care of momma at all cost.

And the biggest transformation has been with us. He cooks, he cleans, he washes clothes, he hugs me, he kisses me, he tells me to take it easy. He worries about me, he cuddles with me and most important……We talk! We are back to the ooey, gooey, lovey, dovey make our children sick couple we have been in the past. And I must admit, I like it.

He knew we were having problems, he didn’t know what it was, but he knew something was wrong. So when I was at momma’s for those 2 weeks, he was here…Right here….On my Blog…..He was reading and trying to figure me out, figure us out. And he found his answers. And he thought about it and looked back and saw it. He never knew. How could he? I never told him. And so now he is spending all of his time making everything up to me, spoiling me.

He said he had a epiphany….He is not going to let the small stuff bother him. And so far so good. Oh, he has blown a few times, but he lets it go quickly and he doesn’t let them build until he feels the need to let them out on ME! In fact it is almost scary that he is being so wonderful. I find myself waiting…..Not really, I am enjoying it all!

So a bit of a weekend update very quickly and I will run away to take a nap….heh!

Friday, Hubby rented a movie, he knew I wanted to see….OK, he wanted to see it too, but just let me have it as the sweet gesture that I want it to be….Transformers 2 was the movie. We ate BBQ ribs, sweetly bought by my darling hubby and watched the movie, in relative peace, surprising considering that The Boy was home, his friend was here for a bit and Little Miss was also here.

Saturday was Hubby’s birthday. Since I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday on my birthday (visitation and all) I had told him I would celebrate on his birthday. I turned old and he turned older. HA!

Little Miss had her first basketball game, which means “Coach” The Boy had his first basketball game too. It started out bad, thought we were going to have to forfeit because we didn’t have enough players. Two minutes before the official forfeit, a player showed and we were able to have an actual game. No subs…all the girls had to play the full game. They were give the hell out.  They played hard, they played pretty good for a team of girls that really have never played before. They lost….20 to 2. They scored so I was happy. Little Miss played well, not as aggressive as I expected, but she hustled.

I spent the afternoon with momma, while hubby worked on BIL’s car. I came home to be treated like a queen. Hubby cooked supper, brought mums in from the flower garden, lowered the lights. We ate at the table like grownups. (Little Miss ate in the living room, The Boy ate later than us.) We had a very nice, peaceful, romantic dinner. We watched a movie. Then I had a bath run for me! Bath oils and all. So very romantic! Candles and all. Whatta man.

Sunday…. We did…..I don’t remember. We ate at MIL’s, I know. I think we washed some clothes and cleaned up around the house. I know we spent time together. We ran a few errands all alone! And I had a bad night, felt awful. A nice little uprising of whatever the hell is wrong with me. Same ole, same ole. But hubby took care of me. He worried about me. He pissed Little Miss off for me, made her go to bed early. HA!

And then yesterday….He started his new, old job. He went back to the block plant. I think it will work out. I hope it will work out. He was ready. The last job wasn’t working out as promised. Rain made it impossible to work and where he was told he would work in the shop when it rained and paid for a full day, it never seemed to happen. Short checks, bills and such make for a miserable man at work and home. His old boss called him and wanted him back, the bigger boss (who happens to have the same name as my dad, Daddy always wanted hubby to go back. Maybe it is some sort of sign.) called and talked to him, and Hubby made a decision. He wanted to go back. He wishes he had never left, but hindsight and such. The secretary is trying to get his health insurance started back without the whole 90 day wait, may not happen but we can always hope.

So now you are updated and since hubby and I stayed up very late last night talking and I am sleepy as hell, I will go and try to… I don’t know accomplish something and maybe slip in a nap or something. Call mom, enjoy my new found peace. I don’t know. Hopefully I will get back on track and post here a bit more regular. I have a couple of promising ideas for posts, so….. you never know. Until next time………….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Journey

On November 5th at 4:25am, Daddy drifted away from us. It was peaceful and we were all there by his side. Momma rubbed his head, my brother held one hand, my aunt (his sister) rubbed his arm.  And I held his hand while Hubby held me. Then he was gone. The end of a 10 day journey. A journey that I hope I never have to take again, but one I am glad I didn’t miss.

This is our journey…..

Monday, October 26,  started like any other Monday, I was cleaning and washing. Then Momma called and said she had a few errands to run and Daddy didn’t feel comfortable staying by himself, of course I told her I could sit with him. He slept mostly and he wasn’t feeling well at all. Momma brought me home before Little Miss got home from school but I was uneasy and worried because Daddy was having such a bad day, but I pushed on and went on with what had to be done.

Hubby called Momma about dinner time to talk about sheet rock he was getting for them to put in the other house and to check on Daddy. When he got off the phone, he said we needed to get over there. Daddy had Momma call the preacher to talk about his funeral arrangements and that it was time to call in hospice and had told her no matter what, he was not going back to the hospital.

It was a long night. Hubby and the kids went home. There was school and work the next day, life does go one. Mom and I sat and listened to him rattle, moan, pray and have nightmares. We asked him to go to the ER only to be told, he just wanted to stay with momma.

As we sat, we talked about how on Sunday he was sitting in his chair, getting in and out of bed by himself and wondering the house. And now he needed help to walk. A day…. that is all it took. I never dreamed he would make it through the night, but he pushed on.

Tuesday it took my brother and hubby, with momma pulling his oxygen tank, to get him to the car to go to the doctor. A wheelchair was needed at the doctor’s office. The doctor was completely shocked by the change. Just Saturday, he was sitting up in the hospital bed fussing about getting out of the hospital. Just 3 days later, he sits in a wheelchair to weak to walk, pale and an oxygen level of 74. The doctor said he never expected him to go down that quick and he agreed with Daddy it was time to call in Hospice.

Wednesday brought us to the hospital for one last CT scan, the proof Hospice needed. It showed a questionable aspiration in his lungs, which had caused another infection. Which got him another round of antibiotics. The nurse told us to keep him as near to sitting upright as he could full-time, give him his medicine and once this infection was cleared up, he would be right back to where he was before this minor episode occurred. She said hospice could be suspended until he needed them again. We borrowed a wheelchair from Granddaddy to get him around the house easier, a temporary need in our minds.

Thursday brought us improvement. He sat up in his chair a good bit of the day, watched TV, talked as much as he could. A real joy. I truly believed when I went home for the weekend that I wouldn’t have to come back except to visit.

Friday, he wanted to be wheeled to the couch for the hospice nurse. He joked some and visited with us, but after an hour of being up, he was so tired and ready to go back to bed. I came home that night, my brother was taking the weekend shift with mom. I was torn, I knew I needed to spend time with my family, but at the same time I felt I needed to be with mom and dad. I knew that my mom and brother would take care of daddy, but something kept pulling me back. I needed rest and time with hubby, but…..

Saturday hubby and I cleaned our own home and washed clothes, did what had to be done. We went to check on mom and dad, make sure momma ate something. I had found out that when daddy didn’t eat, mom was having a bowl of cereal or toast for supper. Not good for a woman who needed all her energy to tend to a sick man. All was well, daddy showed no improvement but he was holding his own. I felt better about leaving, but still a bit uneasy. Hubby and the kids needed me home. There was no decision to make, my family needed me.

I found out Sunday, Daddy had a horrible night, momma didn’t get any sleep. Every time she would sit or lay down, daddy would want something. Sit up in bed, TV on, TV off, lay back down, sit in the chair, get back in the bed, covers on, covers off. My brother called Sunday morning to tell me daddy was having an anxiety attack and having trouble breathing, so they had called in the nurse. We got there, my aunt came and the nurse got there. Nice guy, he explained things to us, no one else had. He said that when daddy’s oxygen level got low, he knew something was wrong, but he didn’t know exactly what. So he would run through his mind and try to find something that helped. That helped us a lot, where we thought daddy was being a pain in the ass and we were getting ill with him, now we knew he couldn’t help it. After the nurse left that afternoon, daddy ate a few bites of potato soup. That would be the last food he ate, he took to ice chips and never went back.

When night came, it was hard to let hubby leave. He had went down in his back and physically needed me to be with him, but momma needed me too. Hubby told me to stay with momma, that he would be OK, but I felt so bad leaving him.

I thought Monday was bringing us a good day. I got up to momma and my aunt getting daddy in his wheelchair. It lasted all of 10 minutes before he was too tired to sit up in it. He went to bed and never got out of it again. My aunt fed him ice chips all day. She was like that carton dog shaking and ready to jump at a seconds notice. She didn’t want to leave but she knew that she had to. That was the first night hubby and Little Miss stayed with me at momma’s. That eased my mind so much. I was with everyone that needed me.

Tuesday was a long day and night. Daddy wanted constantly. We had frozen peach, mango V8 fusion and he really seemed to like it. (It was my idea, so he could get some vitamins and such and when momma told him that, he said I was worth a shit sometimes. HA!) We also froze his strawberry DanActiv. He would eat a few bites of his “flavors” then a few bites of his “sherbet”. Dinner and Dessert. HA!

Tuesday night Daddy kept us all up (even hubby). By then it took 3 of us to sit him up and move him around in bed. Every time I would get warm and comfortable, mom would have to come and get me.

The nurse came Wednesday morning, without saying a word to us, she called  in what we found out later was a crisis nurse. My brother got a call at work informing him daddy had a couple of hours to a couple of days and that he needed to get over there. He got there in record time. He called my aunt who also made her 2 hour trip in record time. My brother couldn’t tell us what he knew. Larry ,  the nurse who would spend the next 12 hours with us, told momma and my brother managed to tell me.

Little Miss got sick at school and had to come home. When hubby brought her to momma’s he discovered a water leak that he needed to fix. He happened in the house as my brother was telling me about daddy. I swear Little Miss “knew” something was going to happen and “someone” was keeping hubby there. Hubby rarely left my side after that.

That was a long day. Calls needed to be made, people came, and feelings had to be dealt with, all while not letting daddy know what was going on. I had trouble staying in the room. He rarely opened his eyes and had little to say. Every time Little Miss came in the room, he would say, “Hi Cutie Pie.” He spoke of the time he was shot in the foot and proclaimed himself the eternal tightwad.

Larry, the hospice nurse, was great! He fit right in with us. God himself sent him to us. He “got” us. He said he had a BS degree, which our whole family seems to have. He laughed with us and made us laugh. Daddy would have loved him. Larry was there primarily to make daddy comfortable, but also to provide the family with emotional support, which he did so well. When he finally turned us over to another nurse, he had spent more than his 12 hours with us, he told her that over half of us were nuts, but we would take care of her. He was leaving her in good hands.

Little Miss spent the night with SIL. Easy E and Wifey stayed several hours until it was time to go home and get rest for work the next day. The Boy slept on the couch. Hubby and I laid down in the bed for some much-needed rest, but it really wouldn’t come. Mom slept in the bed next to daddy’s hospital bed. My brother curled up on a couch.  My aunt curled up in the recliner. My brother woke us up after the nurse got him up and told him it was close. We stayed with daddy for a while, then stepped out for a much-needed cigarette, when we came back in, I took daddy’s hand and squeezed it and his middle finger twitched and somehow I knew he was gone. He waited for us to get back. It would be another 15 minutes before hubby got my brother to get the nurse to check and be sure he was gone.

Throughout this journey we have had many tears, some laughs and a lot of memories. I want to list a few things uttered by daddy in his last few days. It may not make any sense to you, but will surely put a smile on my face, I will try to explain as I go….

Once when we were trying to slide him up in the bed without much success, we got tickled and started laughing and daddy said, “Ya’ll are having too much fun at my expense.”

When we finally got him slid up in the bed in one giant pull…..”Woo! that was better that Viagra!”

When he suddenly uncovered and slid his legs to the side of the bed and said…”OK,  let’s go!” Momma asked him where we were going. He said…” To Hell in a hand basket.”

When we were talking about the water leak….” I know where it is, I will show him!” As we were covering him back up, momma asked him where it was so WE could go and tell hubby, he said..” At the pond, always at the pond.” Momma told him it was further down than that and he said…” Well SHIT! I don’t know then.”

When the nurse inserted his catheter, daddy told him, “I don’t know if you have one small enough for me.” The nurse said he had never heard that before. HA!

Toward the end, it was a lot of single word requests……”Flavors” (frozen V8 Fusion), “Sherbet” (frozen DanActiv), “Covers”, “Cup” ( his spit cup), “Eyes” ( cover for his eyes, the light bothered him). He also had some hand signals…..Hand at his ear meant he wanted his hearing aides (so he could hear what we were saying about him. heh!), hand on his forehead meant he needed his eyes covered, hand on his right shoulder meant he needed his covers pulled up. Kicking his feet meant he was ready to be uncovered. He would ask why you turned the lights on, we had to tell him it was the only way to see his signals and if he didn’t want his ice up his nose, we needed lights sometimes. I think he called us smartass from time to time, but I can’t be for sure. heh!

As we stood by his side, it was so quiet and so early. I heard Daddy’s voice in my head, just as clear as if he were speaking to me……KIZ7180….The dreaded CB call letters from my childhood. Every weekend, bright and early he would break the peace in our little world by saying those letters and numbers so that he could talk to the world. It was perfect…..Mom and my brother knew exactly what I meant when I said it. No explanation needed and it brought a smile to our face.

It has been hard. The visitation, funeral directors (a post all of their own coming), the funeral, family that came and wouldn’t leave (another post to come), cleaning up behind them, but one good thing has come from it. Where hubby and I had drifted so far apart, this has brought us back together again. We see that all the petty things aren’t worth worrying about. Hubby has been by my side, momma’s side, my aunt’s side, the kid’s sides. He did things we could never do, like help to move furniture  to get daddy out of the house. He has taken this so hard and still managed to be there for us.

We are on a new journey now. It started the day daddy died and will continue from now on. It will get easier, I know it will, but for now small things will bring on tears. Mom is doing great. She is a very strong woman, she has her bad times and right now she just wants to stay busy. The kids are doing well. Little Miss is having some anger issues, but we are dealing with them. She can’t be mad at Granddaddy for leaving but she has to be mad at somebody. Hubby is spending his time worrying about me, but doing well. And me…..well, I am OK, I am spending a lot of time in “mommy mode”, locking it all away in the dark corners of my mind, like a little mental patient. It creeps out from time to time, but I can wrangle it back before it gets too bad. I know at some point it will escape and I will have to deal with it, but later, when I can better handle it.

Thank you for listening to my journey. I know it is impossibly long, but I had to get it out. Believe it or not, it really has helped to see it all down , to know we did everything we could do for him, took care of him the best way we could and remember it. I left so much out, the lack of restful sleep (mostly momma), many bad memories of his last days (details left out for you Putz…I know how you don’t like all of the gory details. heh!) I chose to remember the good here, I keep the bad for my nightmares….. Until next time………….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!

My family tree and the squirrels love us!

So what has been going on with you? I have been busy, busy, busy. I hate when that happens. But sometimes life happens and the rest of the stuff has to be put on the back burner. So a quick update here and I will have to run off to my busy, busy, busy, too much shit to do life.

So Thursday night around 10pm, I got a call. Mom had called an ambulance out for dad. He was having trouble breathing and a few chest pains. A Nitro didn’t help so it was off to the hospital with him. He got a quack of a doctor. His chart shows he has Pulmonary Fibrosis…He kept asking Daddy if he ever had trouble breathing. Aneewho….Dad was laughing and cutting up and we are beginning to wonder if he is addicted to the hospital. The nurses and all do so love him and shower him with attention.

We managed to get  home around 3am…tired and give out. Had to get Little Miss off to school which meant climbing out of bed at 6am. I would say after we got settled down and finally went to sleep I managed about 2 hours of sleep. Friday was not a good day all the way around. The doc told daddy he could get out that day and then apparently changed his mind when he saw how low daddy arterial blood gases were, but he neglected to tell daddy. OH, BOY!!! Not  a good thing to do. He finally blew up at the nurse at around 7pm and told her he wanted a straight answer about when the hell he was getting out of there. That was when the nurse told him, after speaking with the doc, that he wouldn’t be going home. We walked in to a hornet’s nest. My good gravy he was MAD!!!

So Saturday morning, Little Miss had ball practice and guess who went and helped out? That’s right it was The Boy!!!! He was home, Friday when we got home, so I kinda figured he would be going. Daddy got to come home on Saturday, they released him at 11am, he refused to leave until 6pm. WTH?!!!! He insisted he was just too tired to get to the car. Said he would have to take a nap half way to the car. Mom got annoyed, she thinks he was afraid to get too far from the hospital. He did finally decide he could get to the car and from the car to the house. The doc says tiredness is all a part of the disease, but for someone to have thrown a fit to go home the night before, he sure wanted to stay on Saturday.

Sunday we were having a 85th birthday dinner for my Granddaddy, mom was suppose to do some cooking. Guess who didn’t think she was going to get home to cook? Yeppers, mom. Guess who took over her cooking duties? Yeppers that would be ME. The one who doesn’t do cooking very well and guess what I got to cook…..A turkey breast. I have never cooked turkey before….that is momma’s job. So I cooked turkey, I cooked shells and cheese, I made tea, I cooked baked beans. Did I mention that I also babysat all day Saturday? A cute little thang. I would post pics but I left my camera at mom’s.

So Saturday, I babysat (pics coming), I finished cleaning mom’s house for her, I cooked, I delivered Little Miss to her Halloween party, I was busy. I was exhausted. But I found time to kick my darling hubby’s ass at bowling. Why yes I did.

So that brings us to Sunday, and what a Sunday it was…..Family, food, pictures, food, gossip, food, fun, food. Yeah the food was good! Which brings us to my family tree…..I am related to a bunch of NUTS!!!! OK, I have already showed my dad may be slipping off his rocker by refusing to leave the hospital. My cousin, the hyperchrondiac, kept saying she had lost a whole person. In all fairness, she had gastric bypass and has lost 145 pounds, but please, a whole person???? I was beginning to wonder if she had a split personality and one had left. My aunt…. also had gastric bypass and is 25 pounds from her goal weight. Her big thing was she would see everyone at Thanksgiving if we were all still living. This would explain that comment….Her son is a conspiracy theorist…Oh I am sorry, the people who are  conspiracy theorist, only have theories, he has proof. Video, recordings, DVDs. So all day I got to hear about how the government is killing off the old and weak and dumbing down our children. I swear he even gave me DVDs to watch. The EPA cops are coming. He meant well, we are family and he didn’t want us to think we were safe or anything, he wants us informed.

And grandaddy, well he took the time to tell my aunt that her double chins are wrinkled since her surgery and that she was eating too much. My cousin that she is well on her way to that double chin, if she doesn’t quit eating so much. My mom that she has several chins, and let us not forget that I have my CHINS and I am gaining weight in leaps and bounds! And my mom, bless her heart, informed him that we all got it from HIM!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Dad had a bad day and spent the whole time in the bedroom, coughing his head off and a lung up. He did sleep a bit though. Adivan is a wonderful thing. I have to call and see if he is better today, he must be…I got an email this morning. Always a good sign. SO whether I want to or not, now I must jump up and accomplish all the shit I put off doing all weekend. Until next time……………

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now to our game…..

Little Miss had her first basketball practice last night. We are a bit behind the other teams. For starters most of these girls have never played basketball before….I wonder if a couple ever touched a basketball before. So they had a coach and then the coach found out most of the team was beginners and he/she quit. So then they didn’t have a coach. The very nice lady over the community league stuff bribed/threatened her 20-year-old son and his 22-year-old friend into working with the girls until she could  find a coach and the 1st practice was scheduled. The other teams have had a couple of practices already and they all played before, so we are behind.

I don’t know about the boys, but I think the girls have picked their coaches. And the funniest thing about it is…..The Boy was bored and rode with us to the practice and I do believe he has somehow ended up an asst. coach! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! He played basketball with one of them and baseball with the other so he has known them  forever. Of course I remember them as tiny boys and now they are all grown up.

As I said most of the team has never played before and it really shows. We actually have a girl who is only in the 3rd grade and she is probably the best kid on the team. She has been playing since kindergarten and this year there wasn’t enough girls in her age group and for some reason they wouldn’t let her play with the boys this year and moved her up instead.

A few of the girls are pretty good. Some not so good. Little Miss has a lot of practicing to do. She has not only never played, she has never really had an interest in basketball, she rarely touches a ball at home. Yeah, it could be an entertaining season or a very long season.

As I watched the girls “play” last night, I remembered The Boy’s first years of sports. I remembered all of his teammates. We have lost one of them, others have moved on to college, while some are still around from time to time. I remember T-Ball! I loved T-Ball. For those of you who have had kids play T-Ball you know what I am talking about. For those of you who have little ones, sign them up. It is a great game!

T-Ball is the year where they learn everything, including which way to run. It is HI LARRY US!!!! Of course you expect that of 4 and 5 year olds. It is probably my favorite year of any of the sports The Boy played. That was the year that at his first up to bat at a real game he hit a GRAND SLAM!!!!! It would be waaaay more impressive if I didn’t have to tell you that he got it because the other team threw the ball away over and over and over again.

I expect this year of basketball to be pretty much the same way. Only with this team starting out with only 9 girls, 3 of which I think have played before, playing against other 9 and 10-year-old girls who have played before, it could just be a very long season.

The practice was fairly entertaining. These young men didn’t have a clue. None of them knew how to start. None of them wanted to fuss at or scare the girls. They didn’t remember how to “teach” the basics. And most of them need to learn the basics. You know, how you can’t just carry the ball down the court, you can’t dribble with both hands, how to get the height and angle right to get the ball to the net. (Note I did not say in the net.) But when they finally decided that they were going to have to teach them something, all of them step up to the plate and did their best. They showed them a few things, they started learning names and they found out that they are not in as good of shape as they thought they were. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! All of those boys were sweating and panting. heh!

I hear tell that the first game is in 3 weeks, those boys have their work cut out for them. Next practice is at 8am Saturday morning……yeah, even the boys groaned about that one. I think they will do fine, I think the girls will have fun….Hey they accomplished something last night……..Their colors are Hot Pink and Black. Couch B says he will just wear a black shirt, the girls said he can put Coach in Pink on the back. Coach J…..said it wouldn’t be the first time he has wore pink……. We are a bit worried about him. heh! And The Boy…… well The Boy says they have enough coaches, he sure isn’t going to be there at 8am on a Saturday…… I think he will show up. Until next time………….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!1

Just point me to the complaints department

I have a few….complaints that is. Nothing major, nothing life altering, nothing to cause the Earth to spin off its axis or anything. Just small chit that is driving me insane. Stuff that alone doesn’t bother me one bit (OK, it bothers me but not that much), but clumped together, it could fare put me in that rubber room that my family has reserved for me. I know that they have it reserved only because they are attempting so hard to put me there. It is either that or they are already paying for it and hate for it to sit empty. So let us start with the minor chit and then move on up to my family….Gotta love ‘em

Perfect place to start is with groceries…only because I recently went to the grocery store and then I looked at the paper and got pissed.

What the hell are grocery store people thinking? I know prices must go up and they have to make money but enough is enough. Hubby darlings paycheck is not going up, why the hell do the grocery people have to make so much? Yeah, yeah….gotta pay the rent/ mortgage, employees, electric bills and put the groceries in the store….Yadda, yadda, yadda…. but really? WTF?!!!!

People, the government and doctors keep saying, “Gotta eat right.”…..But the grocery store folks say, “Gotta pay to eat right.” Hell, I can barely afford to eat sometimes, let alone eat right! (Please keep in mind, as I utter the next bit of my complaint, that I am not that old and that I am not talking about years ago, but merely months ago.) I remember when I could buy a can of corn (yes, the cheap stuff, packed with preservatives that are so gosh darn healthy for my family. Please keep in mind I am basically a lazy human and opening a can of corn and dumping it in the pan is about the amount of energy I have sometimes.) for around 45 cents (can you believe there is NO sign for cents on a keyboard? I just discovered that little nugget of info. But that is another gripe at another time.) The other night as I perused the grocery aisles I spotted a huge sign……BIG SALE! .89 each for selected canned vegetables….. Apparently this is a big sale price. Only almost double what I gave at regular price a few months ago.

And then there was this little thing….. (And I only use name brands here, because, well you will see why in a few…) 4 boxes of Post cereal for $10. and then there was something to do with the Kroger card when you buy 4 boxes….Aneewhoo, when you buy 4 boxes of POST cereal it ends up costing like $1.99 a box. Good deal right? I thought so too…..but……we are in the middle of an ant attack. And those little boogers love cereal!

(Just a small side rant in the middle of this here complaint…. I HATE freakin ants with the heat of a million and twelve suns! Little sons of bitches, I can NOT find where they are coming in! I can NOT figure out where they are going next! I have done everything! Vinegar…..They march right through it! Ant bait traps…..Walk right by the damn things! Bug spray (yeah, yeah…I am desperate!) Kills the bitches on contact, then their buddies use the dead ones for a bridge over it! I even tried the dish detergent and spreading it on the counter, they acted like it was a skating rink! I swear I can see the little demons smiling at me! I will get rid of the little nasty ass demons, even if I have to fire bomb the kitchen! Every time I think I have gotten rid of them, they show up in a different place! Nothing is safe, cabinets, garbage can, cat food bowl, dog food bowl, dog food container (How in the hell are they getting in around the damn lid?) nothing is safe…Nothing I say. OK, rant over)

Where was I? Oh, yeah, 4 boxes of POST cereal for 10 bucks- Kroger card thingy= $1.99 a box, good deal (I can’t get because of those little boogers that have invaded my house!) Aneewhoo, MIL brings over the Sunday paper (On Monday, the DAY after I buy groceries!) And I found a coupon for $1. off 3 boxes of GENERAL MILLS cereal! If it had been POST cereal and I had the damn paper on Sunday, before I went to the grocery store, I could have saved more money! Have I mentioned that since groceries are going up and hubby’s paycheck is not, I am trying to find ways to save money….Coupons being one of those ways, that and sales and anything else I can find. Well, I am trying. Aneewhoo, kinda pissed me off, the grocery store people could be a bit more helpful. Try giving out coupons and putting the same item on sale! Maybe I could afford to eat healthy.

On to the critters….

Now I am seriously considering parting company with a certain cat (Yes, you, over there under the TV.) He has about outlived his usefulness and my patience. There is some dispute here as to how old the little bastard is anyway. I know he is at least 11 years old and possibly up to 15 years old. I have had him since he was born, but my mind is a bit fuzzy as to what year he was actually born in, but his age is neither here nor there. The problem is…. he is getting on my nerves. He is constantly meowing at me! Need food? Need water? Need petting? Need to get kicked across the damn room!?!  Aggravating son of a bitty. As fair as I can tell he needs NOTHING!!!! He just wants to drive me insane as I run around the damn house looking for whatever it is that he seems to think he needs bad enough to sit and meow at me constantly.

Also why in the hell have you decided under the TV is where you need to be and whatever happens to be there be damned and moved!?! I put those cars there because I want them there. I do not want them out in the floor, where you seem to think they belong. They are not toys, they are not there for your amusement. Quit pushing them around. When hubby darling discovers you broke them I won’t have to worry about you anymore. heehee…. Keep it up, fat boy.

And then there is his tummy issues…. He pukes daily. Not hairball, no, his food is suppose to take care of that. OK, there is hair in the piles I have to clean up daily*gag, EEEWWW, gag* but it is mostly food and some  sort of liquid, I assume is water. I may be assuming wrong, I am not a vet. I have tried changing his food  and he still does it. Half digested cat food is not something I enjoy seeing. *GAG!* Mixed with cat hair. *YUCK, GAG, HEAVE, EEEWWWW, GAG*

And what is wrong with actually keeping his ass end in the litter box until he is DONE using it? Most of it actually ends up in the litter box, but there is always that little piece that has to be “let out” just outside the box. And pee belongs in the litter! Not along the edge of the box so that it may run down the sides and under the box!!!! Anyone need an old, contrary, antisocial, pain in the arse cat? I do make him sound like such a GOOD pet, don’t I? You know you want him.

Barking DOGS! Well, not actually DOGS, just ONE dog. The old woman seems to be seeing things that are not there and she MUST protect the house and family from these unseen things! No amount of, “Good dog. You scared them away Misty! Hush! Stop it! DAMMIT ONE MORE PEEP OUT OF YOU AND I WILL PERSONALLY ESCORT YOU TO THE PEARLY GATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” shuts this damn dog up! Once she starts there is no stopping her. And of course that gets the other one’s hackles up and she must bark and then go see what the hell she is barking at, only to discover that it is NOTHING! She then looks at Misty like, “Bless her old senile heart! She is slowly losing it. Hush Misty, there ain’t nothin there. Please shut up! IF SHE WON’T ESCORT YOU TO THOSE GATES I WILL!!!! SHUT THE HELL UP OLD WOMAN!!!!!!!!!” See even the dogs get annoyed.

Now on to my lovely family…..

Little Miss…..Almost nuff said. She has decided that perhaps my little vacay from her attitude is over. It is slowly creeping back to me and away from her father. Oh, he is still on the receiving end of her attitude, but more is getting pointed at me again. But my real complaint is the whole school thing….

Her teachers are NUTS!!!!! Let us start with the diorama…. What good are these except to give the parent’s a project to do? (And 3rd degree burns, thankyousomuch) Admit it, the parent’s do the lion’s share of it anyway, the kids sit back and watch if they do that much. I have seen these things, no way in hell that the kids do them!

Now she has another project….A plant cell made out of, get this…..edible objects!!!!! Able to withstand being left in the classroom for a few days!!!!! You must be kidding me! Like I can afford to give this child FOOD to make a project with and then just leave it sitting to rot away in the classroom!!! Give me a break!

The Boy….Not a lot going on with him. His unemployment ran out…..Did you know that it didn’t just last forever? Apparently, he didn’t. Now I get to listen to, “I have really got to find a J.O.B. I have been looking, there ain’t none out there. I owe people money, I gotta pay them. I’ve got fines to pay….if I don’t pay them they put my ass in jail!” Well, big boy…..get a job. Don’t know how your suspended license ass is gonna get there, but…. Have you looked in the paper? Have you looked online? Huh, I guess you expect some nice soul to walk up to the house and offer you a job. Good Luck with that!

Hubby dearest darling man who I love…….

If you ask me one more time if I am “happy” and if I am leaving you……I may make your dreams come true!!!!!! True I am not bouncing around the house singing a happy tune as I clean up behind all of you and the critters, but in reality, beside Snow White, who the hell does?!!!!!!! No, I am not constantly smiling, nobody, besides The Joker on Batman (and he is a fictional character, and he had good reason to.) does that either, sweetie! Yes, I know I didn’t return your text, didn’t get the damn thing either!!!!! Can’t return what I didn’t get. Get a grip man! I love you, I am not unhappy, I am stressed, I feel bad, I am often tired, but all in all I love you and I reckon I am sticking around.

And one more gripe and I will go away peacefully…………..

My video choosing rights have been strip away! Pick a couple of movies that suck arse or blow chunks, or how ever you want to say it and they just take away your privileges! And really they weren’t good movies but you did sit there and watch them. They weren’t that bad….OK, so it was a few hours of your life you will never get back, but think of the good movies I have picked over the years!

And in my defense….Usually Will Smith movies are good, how could I have known that “Hancock” was not one of the better ones? It is an old movie, we hadn’t seen it, it was an instant view on Netflix, how could I have known. And “Burn after Reading” Come on….George Clooney, Brad Pitt….How could it be a bad movie? And really it wasn’t so much bad as it was stupid.

You liked “Made of Honor” even if it was a chick flick. “Eagle Eye”, “Gran Torino”  they were good. OK, I admit “Pineapple Express” was stupid and I kinda picked it, but you wanted to see it when it came out in the theater! So that was half your fault. That’s OK, hubby dearest darling, you don’t have the patience to go through all the Netflix stuff, you will be begging, begging, I tell you, for me to pick the movies before long. MAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Then it will be all chick flicks, all the time!!!!!!!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Gripes over, until next time………….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a regular Monday here…. nothing to see

I swear my immune system must be in Hell, it is so low. My teeth are better, not well, but better. Now I have some sort of stomach bug, that is going to be the death of me yet. Just hit, 5 minutes ago. UGH! But enough about that….

Little Miss had her company Friday night, nice enough girl, very polite. She got bored by 10pm. At 11pm she was asking if they could go outside, uh, NO! They finally got off the computer around midnight and I have no clue what time they got in bed and settled into sleep. I think I settled in to bed around midnight and got to sleep around 1am.

Hubby darling went in to work for a half a day. Gotta  make up for those damn rain days somewhere. He could have worked a whole day, but rotten child was in the Mathletes thing. I made sure I took my meds so my heart could take the excitement. No, really I am very proud of her. The competition lasted for 2 hours and she stayed in for 1 hour and 22 minutes! The kids got 10 tickets and they had to give a ticket for each missed question, when they ran out of tickets they were out. She did well.

(Please excuse the snowman heads….I completely forgot how to use my photo editing stuff! Talk about a brain fart, I am having a lot of those lately. But I had to blur the faces of children that are not mine, and the blurring effect would not work, so…..) Now you can see just how tiny she really is. Yes, those kids around her are her age! I think we were the only school from our part of the state, I have never heard of the schools I saw there. We didn’t win state, but we had a child still there when the time limit was up. I think we were in the top 3 schools. Not bad for a bunch of rednecks. heh! Our 1st grade did win state! I am not sure how the 7th and 8th grade did, we left. I know we are rude, but as the competition for your child was done, most parents left. We were a couple of hours away from home, ya know. Anyway, we survived it, a good time was had, money was spent, we took our extra child home and was ready for bed. But hubby still had a load of wood to haul so I was up for a bit longer.

Sunday was a decent day. Hubby worked. Yeah, I know I am a slave driver! Got a few, and I mean a few groceries, dog food, and washing stuff. Three days of work in three weeks don’t make for much of a paycheck. Aneewhoo…..

I mentioned Little Miss “made” a quilt, or did I? Oh, hell I can’t remember. Aneewhoo, she did and I have photographic proof that she worked on it……

Love it! She poked her fingers with the needle and everything. And the finished product looks a little something like this…..

Don’t she just look so thrilled to be getting her picture made? Yeah, this was like the 14th picture I had taken, she was getting ill.

So that is about it for now, I am sick as a dog and have a ton of work to accomplish, so I must go. I swear I will have a good post for all of you sometime in the near future, I hope. Until next time……………..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too Busy!!!!

It has been the longest week in the history of weeks! I swear it is the week that will not end! I haven’t much time to play and write today, but I had to pop in and check out the going ons around here. I also will give you a quick rundown of the going ons around here…..

Little Miss was out of school Monday and Tuesday for a Fall holiday, damn made up holidays! OK, so Monday was Columbus Day, but damn we never got out for that day! But whatever!

It has been raining here every free fraking day and that means no work for hubby dearest, which means he was home every free fracking day with me! Now don’t get me wrong…..He worked his tail off, he washed some dishes, cleaned some rooms and ran the vacuum cleaner. A very helpful soul. But my computer time was very limited and I don’t like that. Not so much that he didn’t allow me on it, but more that he was on it or I was too busy to get on it!

So what else? I woke up with a toothache on Tuesday morning. More of a teethache, considering 3 teeth were involved. And it is just my luck on Wednesday morning it was worse and Thursday afternoon and evening, I was ready to pull my own teeth out by the roots, through my nose if I had to! I have found that if I lay down the pressure is so much easier to deal with. My face almost doesn’t hurt if I am laying down. If I am up, my teeth ache, my jaw hurts and even my cheek is sore. No amount of pain relievers help either. Maybe I am just extremely lazy and my teeth hurt to give me an excuse to lay down. HUM….. Whatever, hubby says dentist, I say just kill me now. And considering that we have no dental insurance at this point and he has no check due to the rain, I think I will win this argument! If having a toothache is winning.

So my favorite adopted son is now out of jail, 47 days straight and he is the same aggravating, pain in my ass. HA! Good to have him back around though and I am sure his soon to be wife and 2 kids feel the same. Speaking of, I got to see a few of my adopted grands and I must say, they are growing and getting cuter every time I see them. I love getting to hold them and smell all their baby goodness and hand them back to their mommas and walk away!

Little Miss went to her slumber party on Friday. She loved every minute of it. I understand that a limo picked them up at school, complete with the red carpet being rolled out for them and took them to their fancy hotel room and they ate at a nice restaurant and swam. A good time was had by all, or that is what I gathered from her as she ran past me to see the recently released jail-bird.

Hubby darling signed Little Miss up for basketball. JOY, JOY!! I don’t know why he did that. Yes, she wanted to play, yes, it is good exercise. But all those practices and games! UGH! Whatever. Somehow I expect this to turn out bad. He will be paying her to quit in no time.

Well, Little Miss is having over night company and has a Mathletes competition tomorrow so I am busy, busy. Gotta do a little cleaning and washing so we don’t look like complete slobs. I haven’t mentioned Mathletes? Yes, Little Miss made the math team and now has a competition tomorrow. Kid sucks at math, but she made it and is so excited. What is a mom to do? Oh, yeah….haul her ass and the ass of another child 2 hours away to sit in a room and watch math problems be answered by a bunch of kids for….oh…..4 hours!!!!!!!!!! Does the excitement ever end???????? But I am proud of her.

So I gotta go. Hope to post a better post on Monday, but with the weather we are having, who knows! Next week is suppose to be nice. Let us pray for no rain! Momma needs a good check!

Until next time…………….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A whole different post….

I had another post in mind for today. But then I went to my dashboard at Word Press and what I saw there just made the other post fly right outta my head. Makes me kinda grateful Blog Spot doesn’t do it. I don’t know about you, but when I open up either of my sites I go directly to the dashboard and look around.  Word Press is really much better as far as dashboards go. It gives me all kinds of cool info, Blog Spot not so much, but I have other ways of checking that one. So this post is mainly about my Word Press dashboard……

Usually I look at my stats. You know, I have to see how many people read the crap I throw out here. Really it kinda amazes me, people actually read this. It is normally about the same number everyday, so I assume I have about the same people here everyday. Cool!!!!

Then I glance at the most read. Interesting that many of those are old post. Always a hit or two on the new post but mainly the older ones. Kinda tells me that I have gotten away from my original intent and that the older stuff was better.

I go to the little section that tells me I have comments. ALWAYS spam. I get a comment or two here and there but usually there is a dozen or so spammers or those sites that run my post and at least give me credit for it. I have checked those out, they seem to print a snippet and say if you want more go here and it brings them to my site. I guess I don’t have a problem with that, wish it brought more people in but hey at least they do give me credit for my post.

Sometimes I go to the section that shows me the most popular searches. I don’t really look there often, really why do I care what search brought them here, as long as they got here and they enjoyed the trip through my little mind. Right? But sometimes a really old post is very popular and that makes me wonder how the hell did they get to that old thing. So I look. I must say….. I was somewhat surprised by some of them…..

Christmas decorations….. Didn’t surprise me at all. Right after Thanksgiving and up until the New Year, I mention my Christmas decorations often and I even post pictures. Kinda surprised me that in October people were already searching for it, but whatever cranks their tractor. I guess get a jump start on ideas.

Halloween decorations……Not  a big surprise. My last post was about Halloween and in October you would expect people to be looking for that. I can only assume they were a bit disappointed that I had no pictures, but I hope they enjoyed the post. Though I am fairly certain that when no pictures popped up they ran away.

“my haircut”……OK, I have mentioned my haircut. I have no clue why it is in quotations, but it was in the section so I put them here too.  Again, it has been a while but I can only assume that someone was looking for a haircut style that they liked. Again probably disappointed to find NO pictures.

short…… I don’t get why someone was searching for it, but I guess cyberspace know I am only 5 feet tall and they consider that short and TaDa you find yourself  here. I don’t get how a search engine finds this shit, but whatever.

too hot……AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Maybe it is referring to the weather, because I damn sure know it ain’t referring to me!

guidance addiction video…… Could someone explain that one to me? All they get when they come here is a rant about a guidance counselor. I am completely lost.

All of those I wouldn’t have thought a thing about, really. I kinda get it. I wonder why some things are searched for but who am I to find anyone strange. I mean my good gravy, my bestest friends in the whole wide world live in a box on my desk, can’t get much stranger (or pathetic) than that. But then there were a few others that caught my attention and made me say…. quite loudly I might add……What the Fiddly Fruck?!!!!!!!!

good asian porn………. OK, I admit I have spoken the words here a time or two….Only when speaking of Spammers. But I must say I have never called it good!

Dogs in heat…… OMG!!! I have spoken of that, but really, who searches for these things!

am I insane………. Oh, come on! I know that I am insane, not really insane, merely just a little nuts, but please to include me in that search!!!!! Ain’t that just a big ole kick in the tushy? Some horrid little search engine brought some nutcase to my site to figure out if they were insane? Really if I am a gauge, which way do I swing? If your like me…..your insane. Oh, holy hell!

But the one that really caught my attention was……

I seek you out, fillet you alive……. WTF?! I admit, I mentioned these words in one post and it was about a song I liked. I admitted that it freaked me out a bit that I would like a song with words like that. But what kind of psycho searches that?!!!!!! Maybe, I hope, they were trying to find out the name to that song. The really big thing was that it was the most popular search bringing people to my site!!!!! So now I feel like I am the poster child for weird folks! (Not that you are weird if you happen to find this post because you were searching for that. And I lied about where I live…..I live in……um, Bangladesh……Yeah, that’s right…..Bangladesh) Until next time…………

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!

It’s that time of year again.

Yeppers, it is the time of year when we get a nip in the air (what happened to seasons? It was just 70 degrees a few nights ago and now it is in the 50s at night.), well intentioned (read….money hungry, sadistic bastards) store managers are putting out *lovely* (read… creepy, screeching, shaking, scare the hell out of you) Halloween decorations, children start wanting (read….I want to be Batman (or Wolverine, or Bob the Builder, or SpongeBob, or whoever it is that children have to be this year), football games (War Eagle Baby!), and my darling Hubby’s family starts their yearly decorating of the yards.

Now I must admit I am not a huge fan of Halloween. OK, I love the candy part of it, my waistline….don’t love it so much, but I loooove the candy part. I even like the decorations part, kinda. The nice tasteful arrangements. The grave yards are great, if done right. A few well placed ghost and goblins. I am not big on decorating for holidays.

 OK, I admit the inside of my house looks like the North Pole exploded at Christmas, Santa and Mrs. Claus couldn’t have more decorations, BUT I don’t hoist my holiday spirit on others.  I have a few tasteful twinkle lights outside at Christmas (If I can get hubby darling out to put them up.) But that is all, no winter wonderland here.  OK, I admit it….Outside decorations are a bit pricey and I can’t hide those in the buggy as easy as I can hide the indoor stuff, so  I can’t slide it right past Hubby without his knowledge. But even if  I could get it past him, and I had Santa’s Village in my front yard, I would stop at my yard!

Every year at this time, my hubby’s family buys stacks and stacks of hay and they pile it around in the yard, in nice little pyramid type shapes and they decorate it. Scarecrows, ghosts, pumpkins, creepy old guys, black cats, bats, and all that sort of stuff. Kinda cute if it wasn’t so…… tacky. But, hey, whatever floats their boat, right? They always have left over fall/ Halloweenie type things. So what does a wonderful family do? They decide I don’t have enough Halloween spirit. That I am depriving my child of the fun of Halloween. That they need to decorate my yard too.

Yes, every year they buy extra hay (so wonderful and thoughtful of them) and they make sure that they have extra bats, pumpkins, scarecrows and such ( a very thoughtful group.). Then at some point, without my knowledge, they attack my yard. (Whatever happened to toilet papering people’s yards? I would much prefer that.) And somerwheres around the end of the driveway, they put up one of those pyramid type thingies with the hay and decorate it with their leftover stuff. Ain’t they just darling?

Yep, I leave my house one day and come back that night to some sort of Halloweenie type thing at the end of the driveway. My first thought is always to ram it with my car, really how much damage could hay and such do to a car? My second thought is to kick it all over and blame the dogs. (Did you see what that wild pack of dogs did? I swear I tried to stop them, but I couldn’t risk losing a leg to them.) My third thought is……….Why in the hell do they do this every freakin year?!!!!! Then my final thought is….It is only a month, right? It’s not like it s going to sit there til it rots away……oh wait, yes it does!!!!!!!!!! They come get their collection of extra Halloweenie type things and leave the hay sitting. They figure Hubby will dispose of it properly…….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Yeah, right, if he doesn’t have to mow around it, it really doesn’t bother him.

So somertimes in November (mid, late November, hell maybe December) he will finally go out and scatter it around. You know to protect the grass. But this year, I have a plan! I am not leaving the yard!  Not for any real amount of time during the day, so they can’t sneak attack me. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I will only leave once it gets dusky dark. HAHA! You watch I will suddenly develop some sort of swine or avian flu and be bed bound for a few days and come outta my coma to find that pyramid thingy!

So far, they have kept their stuff in their yard this year, I have seen no signs of extra hay and no one has mentioned having a pumpkin for me to turn into some hideous jack-o-lantern that will turn in to a hideous pile of goo before Halloween. Maybe all the eye rolling last year finally “told” them I am not a Halloweenie type person. Maybe they finally realized if I wanted my yard to look like that, I would decorate myself. And I would decorate if I wanted to and it would look nice. More to the spooky side, than the cutesy side they tend to lean towards. Or maybe it was because my FIL went and got the hay this year and he don’t like the fact that they decorate his yard too. Whatever the reason is…..I am thus far……Halloween decoration free and I like it that way.

Now I only have to keep it that way for a few more weeks and I am in the clear. Then somertimes in late November, I will have to worry about the Christmas decorations my MIL inherited for the yard! Oh, yes, they are already putting the plans together as to who puts what in their yard. OH, holy, Hell……Kill me now! Until next time……………………

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!