My dear Mr. Policeman, if I could just explain myself first.
You see a couple of weeks ago I told my brat pack rat tornado little girl that I would no longer clean her room. I did not care if it became a danger to enter, rat infested, hell hole. I did not care if I was unable to find clothes to wash, for if they weren’t washed then she could just go to school in her underwear. I did not want her to come crawling to me if she fell in that disaster area and broke her neck! I. WAS. DONE. No more would I spend hours cleaning and organizing for her to walk in and tear it apart in mere minutes. She took this as a challenge, not the threat it was intended as. I had been on her asscase for over a week to clean her room. She only asked what was wrong with her room. I decided after 2 of her school shirts and a pair of Capri pants had to be regulated to play clothes that it was in deed time to give up and clean her room. What did 2 shirts and Capris have to do with it? Oh, the clothes were laying in the floor on top of the pile of magic markers and they may say washable, but the company lies. After pretreating and washing them 4 times, they still sport magic marker marks. Then the final straw came when on Tuesday night I told her she had one more chance to clean her room. She looked me dead in the eyes and said her room didn’t need to be cleaned, for she had just straightened it up that day. Yes, Mr. Policeman, this is what I found……..
Yes, this is from the door. Yes, this is what she considered straightened up.
This would be where the pile of markers were. I still don’t know how she sleeps straight on the mattress.
Would you believe she never watches VHS tapes? I have no idea why they are all in the floor.
This is the closet floor. There are clean clothes in the floor. And those baby doll clothes? She doesn’t even play with baby dolls anymore.
That crunching you would hear if this was video, would be the DVDs and cds I was stepping on. But of course we spent hard earned money on them. We spent too much money on them.
Yes, that is a Jack’s bag on top of her vent. I don’t know when we last had Jack’s. You can’t see it, but under her TV on top of her satellite box, was a half eaten peanut butter sandwich. Again, I don’t remember her eating a peanut butter sandwich here lately. Not in her room anyway.
This is what the closet should look like. Boxes that are organized by what they have in them. Stacked by what she uses most. Clothes actually hanging on hangers.
Yes, you can get to her drawers now. They even contain the right articles of clothes. And you can get to it without sliding on VHS tapes. Her jewelry is even in her heart box, not scattered across the dresser.
Her desk, you can see it, get to it, not smash cds or DVDs, actually use it for the actual purpose of homework or writing and coloring! Even the magic markers, crayons, and pencils are in their box and under the desk so that they may be found.
The bed actually has sheets on it and the quilts and such are where they can be used to cover up with. It is amazing, actually able to cover up with quilts and such when you are cold.
And we are back where we started at the door entering her room. This is what I should see when I walk through the door! I have given her warning, a quick run through in the morning, anything in the floor that shouldn’t be there, will be thrown away. Clothes not in the hamper, will not be washed. And when she is naked and toy less she will only have her self to blame.
Do you see now, Mr. Policeman, why I lost it? Yes I did learn something.
I. HATE, BARBIE. That bitch has more clothes and shoes than I will ever have and she lays around naked most of the time! Oh, about losing my temper….
Sure, if that’s what you want to hear. But I must add that The Boy’s room is next up on the chopping block! Yes, I will take pictures for evidence.
Do I get my award now? Well, she is still alive! She isn’t black and blue! And did she thank me? Why hell no! She thanked Phillip. Who is Phillip? He is the ghost we have living with us. heh! The Boy’s best friend that died, he opens doors, but he didn’t do actual work when he was living, I truly doubt he would clean her room now that he has passed! I swear to you, she walked in her room and said, “THANK YOU PHILLIP!!!!” And yet I didn’t kill her. I want my damn award!!!! Sure I am glad I am not leaving the house in cuffs, but I did work my ass off and she didn’t even appreciate it. Yes, after I damn near killed her, she did say, ” Thanks….” Well, no, I didn’t actually almost kill her, but the voices in my head were really trying to convince me……… Extra room………No more Barbie…………..No more toys that aren’t even played with. Yes, sir, Mr Officer, I realize she has more shit than God ever intended any child to have, but in my defense…….Her dad bought it!!!!! I understand, no award…… Damn!
So it is on to The Boy’s room. I requested that he hide any and all things I do not want to find in the middle of his bed , under the mattress. Yes, this will be the first place I will look. So providing the nice policeman doesn’t send out the folks with the tight fitting jacket and the nice rubber room, I shall be back tomorrow with more photographic evidence. So until next time……
HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!
