Let us take another trip through my mind today….. I want to visit that place in every mother’s mind that censors what comes out of her mouth, I need to know why mine went on strike………Please watch your step….there are a lot of things running around in here…..
Why is every timeI try to read my favorite blogs and hubby is at home, he has to sit right up under me and do that sighing thing? Damn that makes me so mad! Why did he go to bed, let me log on and start reading only to get up and start sighing? I told him I was gonna read my blogs….is he thinking I a trolling for men? Well, sure I am, it’s not like he doesn’t drive me crazy enough, I should get him some help!
I am sure that censor is around here somewhere! As you can see we are traveling through an area with several gripes flying around, listen in if you want too…..
I hope WordPress stays up today! Damn Internet died yesterday, I thought I posted at WordPress only to find out that NO, it didn’t post or save! Had to redo the whole damn thing….That’s when the Internet died, I heard it choking, I guess I should have offered it help, but screw it! It fucked with me all morning! Blogspot posted but only after fighting all morning with it! How hard is spell check anyway?
Damn Misty is getting old! What is she now? Almost 9yo. Why has she took to sniffing around instead of holding her head up and looking? Could she be going blind? Or is she just getting lazy?
Damn Daisy! Are you on crack? I wish she would quit jumping over Misty! She is OLD Daisy, leave her the hell alone. Just last night you were staring at her while she was snoring loud enough to wake the dead, oh, how I wish I would have gotten a picture of that! It would be a great post! Then what did you do? Started snoring in tandem with her! Damn dogs!
I can’t believe that after reading AFF’s post, I actually laid my head on the tummies of every dog in the house! I can’t believe they let me! I must be top bitch around here!!! OK, Daisy thinks I am higher than her, but not the other dogs. Run me off of them, little bitch! She even let me lay on hubby’s tummy. but not the other dogs. I think she is just jealous!
Watch out for the dog poo! This is pet area! The cat may be old but he uses the litter box, the dogs….. have accidents! I swear not only did the censor go on strike, she fucking moved!!!! Where the hell is she?!
Why did The Boy and Hubby get home so early yesterday? I swear, I didn’t get anything accomplished before they got home! The last part of my post said I would do something great! They blew the hell out of that!!!
I swear my parent’s are never moving in to their house! And that means I will never get my fridge!!!! Damn people not doing their jobs! Come on carpet people, painter, digging guy, plumber! Get there and finish up all ready! Momma needs a fridgeatator! One with the water and ice on the door! Of course, it would also be nice if she would leave the food in there! They eat WAY better than us! Guess that is too much to ask for.
Oh, we must be getting close, I hear her screams!
Why in the hell open just half of a restaurant? Joe Rooster and Roman Rooster, a combo deal. Why open Joe Rooster’s 6-8 weeks before Roman Rooster? Your in the same building Idiots!!! How can you open half of it? do you not cook in the same kitchen? I know the dining room is one big dining room. That is suppose to be the big fucking deal! Everyone can get what they want and eat together! One side serves hamburgers, chicken fingers, shrimp and such, the other side serves pizza and pasta and such as that. I mean you opened 2 months late anyway, what is 2 more months?
And finally, we found her! Where the hell were you last night? What happened to helping me out? Explain yourself!!!!
Well, yesterday when Little Miss was watching the Cosby show, you know the one, where Rudy refuses to go to school until she gets her boobs. Well, you know that lead to all sorts of questions! I was on OT already, what with MIL being a bitch and all and trying to control that whole thing! And that algebra stuff, the words I had to stop from spewing out of you! Where did you learn all of those anyway? Anyway…..
Little Miss gets started on all her questions about when will she get her boobies and when did you get yours and would hers be as big as yours….. You really should exercise some restraint when laughing about your boobs! They may not be big but to her they are huge! Remember she told you that! And must she really know that your tits didn’t come along until after she was born? I mean really, give her a break, she didn’t have to know that she gnawed on them for months and apparently stretched them in to what they are today! And really informing a child that they just hang there, that is unnecessary! And the giggling, are you a child? She was asking you honest questions and she deserved honest answers! I was working my ass off and you were not helping matters at all! I saw all the thoughts flying around your head!!! Not answers for a child I tell you!!!! So last night when you needed me I was taking a much needed vacation and left you to censor yourself! And oh, how you blew that one! Lucky for you I gave you a swift kick in the ass and helped you a bit!……….
Little Miss please just leave daddy alone!
But I want to spend time with daddy.
But leave him alone, you are driving him crazy!
What is wrong with him anyway? He is biting my head off and all I was doing was talking to him.
He is tired and needs to get some!
Needs some what? *smiling almost like she knows something*
……………………..*shit, shit, shit*………………*think, think, think hard dammit!!!!*…………….* oh, fucking hell, where is an answer?……………..*swift kick to the ass*……Sleep, honey, he needs sleep.
Well, you took long enough! It seemed like she was staring at me for hours! And I suppose it was you who kept me from flinging myself out of the moving car later on?
Dad, I am going to be good, I know you are tired and momma said you needed to get you some, so I am going to be good!
* Oh, fucking hell! He is staring a hole through me! *
Hi honey!
*Just how bad would it hurt to fling myself out of the car at 65 MPH? That guard rail would stop me from going into the river, but it would probably be a painful quick stop*
What I told her you needed some sleep honey!
*He knows I screwed up, damn, can I get my seat belt off and the door open with out them knowing what I am going to do? Hospital trip or trip to the morgue? Damn, too close to call, I guess I should just sit here and try to figure out what to say to get me out of this hot water!*
So what’s for dinner?……………..
Oh that was what you called help? If he hadn’t been so tired, I would have caught hell for that one!
Well, it worked! Better than your idea, it would have been a trip to the morgue, you know. And if it was a trip to the hospital, who the hell do you think would take care of you? Certainly not the self-centered children you raised!
Hey, ask my MIL, I didn’t raise one of them! My mom raised Easy E, she raised The Boy and the boys raised Little Miss! I am still wondering how they breast fed her for 14 months!
Oh, and don’t think I haven’t been on OT every time The Boy gets in trouble! Having to stop you from telling her how she screwed up seeing how she raised him! Oh, it is not fun to censor you! One of these days I am going to leave and you will regret all the times you put me through such utter bullshit!
Hey she deserves to be told how she apparently fucked up! When he does good she takes credit, I think she should step up when he fucks up!
But she did not raise him! You did. And you can’t control him when he is fucking up!
BUT………….
But nothing! Now go on and leave me alone, I need my rest before Little Miss starts acting up worse and you start to say something really stupid! Either you must clean up your act or I am going to move out!
Well, move out! I can handle things just fine without you! So what if the kids are scarred for life!……….* therapy bills idiot! What is that kid doing in my bedroom? Is she prowling again? Last time she found daddy’s magazines, shit* OK, I admit it, I need you! Please don’t leave! Little Miss is starting to get on my nerves and that never ends well without you!
I shall stay! Fix the kid something to eat!
Please, watch your step as you leave. It does get nasty in here. In more than one way! I swear, a different kind of blog and she would win awards! Please exit carefully, she is not carrying insurance for falls!
So until next time……………..
HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!
