Can’t we all just get along?

Good Grief People! It’s everywhere. McCain people trash Obama, Obama people trash McCain, old farts trash single moms, single moms trash the government, big business trashes SAHM, and the list goes on and on…..

Just give it up…..Yes, McCain is as old as the hills. Yes, Obama is globe hopping and making mistakes everywhere. Yes, single moms can be a pain, but not all of them. Single moms don’t drain the government, that would be the illegals doing that. No, it is not the governments job to keep single moms in nice houses. SAHMs should be embraced by big business, hey, we are their bread and butter, we make the decisions.

Now let’s get to the “can’t get alongs” in my house……..

Starting with The Boy…….. I raised you for 19 years kid, I provided everything for you,,,,, food, clothes, electricity, water and satellite just to name a few things. You are 19 now and it is time you helped out around here! Yes, I said help out! This is you and your dad’s biggest fight and now I am putting an end to it!

 You say you don’t eat meals here much anymore so you shouldn’t have to help with the grocery bill. Well, those things in the fridge you are eating, they are called leftovers and they were a meal at one point. That chicken you ate last night….was our supper, so see you are eating meals. And that Mt. Dew you sucked down at 1 this morning, well, your dad got that for his breakfast, OOPS!

And the gas in the Blazer you are running out and not putting back in. That would be the gas your dad put in to get him back and forth to work. He had enough to go this week, but not anymore.

You like clean clothes? Yea, I thought so. Well, guess what, they didn’t clean themselves. That body wash, shampoo and deodorant, didn’t appear out of thin air! You claim you cost us no money anymore, since we would have to have water, electricity and satellite even if you weren’t here. But you did not consider these few things…..

I wash about 3 loads of clothes out of your room alone! I cook enough food for you because I never know until you leave, right before supper, that you are going anywhere. And besides you come in the house looking for food. Cokes and Tea are not free. Gas cost big bucks nowadays! And I must clean your room because well, it smells funny!

I don’t think your dad asking for a little money to help out with groceries and gas is too much to ask. I mean you have a full time job and the only bill you have is a cell phone and I paid it last month! What did he ask for? 100 bucks a month and 20 bucks a week for gas. I think you can handle it, All you have to do is make the slugs give you gas money when you haul their asses around and make them pay their own way!!!!

You think it would be cheaper to move out? No rules cost son, get over it. Our rules+home to live in= small amount of money. No rules+roof over your head= BIG bucks. You decide. That is all I have to say on this matter, so let the argument end!!!!

Little Miss…..Sleep why don’t you! TV off and go to sleep at 10pm means TV off and go to sleep! Not stall for 2 hours and whine and get up and down for 2 hours! In 8 more days you go back to school *Thank you educational system* and you will have to go to bed and get up earlier! Stop it with all the whining and stalling. I love you and it is not necessary to tell you that every five seconds! And I love you is the same as Love Ya! Love ya does not have to be the last thing you hear from me. I can say love ya and good night and it means the same as good night and I love you!!!

And another thing, you do not have to eat every 5 minutes! Just because there is a scrap of food in the house does not mean you should eat it! There are other people in the house who would like to eat also! And just because I sit down, that would not be your sign that you need a drink or something to eat! You say you are 9 and you are a big girl now, PROVE IT!!!! Fix your own damn drink without spilling it all over and fix your own damn sandwich!

And the phone……Well, Little Miss Thang, others would like to use it and we would like to be able to talk more than 5 seconds before the battery dies! And what is it with you and leaving it in your room so no one can find the damn thing!?! I am tired of having to hunt it down and call people back and explain that, no I wasn’t asleep at 1 in the afternoon, I just couldn’t find the damn phone. And your dad has a job, don’t call him every 10 minutes to rat me out for something!

And if I say I am hurting this is not the best time to wallow me! Same with I have a headache, please refrain from yelling demands from me! The arguments with your dad……keep them to a minimum of 5 per day and make them a little less dramatic! Him telling you to please get off of him, he is tired doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, it just means he is tired and wants to sit in the small recliner all by himself! And ditto for the bed, he has to get up at 1:30, he can’t lay with you until 10:30 and play and still get up and feel like he has had any sleep!

And now onto HUBBY……..I know we agree on most TV programs, but I don’t make you watch “Ace of Cakes”, “Gene Simmons’s Family Jewels” or any home improvement type show, so why do I have to watch war documentaries? And I was watching that episode of “Hogan’s Heroes”, I don’t care if I had already seen it, it had been a while. I know I have saw the episode of “Andy Griffith” that you chose to watch instead at least a hundred times! I repeat……I wanted to watch “Hogan’s Heroes”!!!!! It has been years since I saw them.

And honey, again, sometimes I am not in the mood, it really has nothing to do with you! I have never faked a headache before and I am not starting now. And if I were to fake a headache sweetie, puking would not be included for effect!

The garbage again? I swear just take it out already!!!! Don’t complain about it, just take it out! Yes, there is 2 bags sitting in the kitchen and one in the can needing to be taken out. So TAKE. IT. OUT. ALREADY!!!!!

Nuff said!

The critters……. Dear, darling pups, it is the food you got, eat it or starve! I know it is not the best food and not your regular, but it was cheap and it was what the store had, get over it!

Kitty, Kitty……Quit puking all over the place! I don’t know what is causing it, but if you are going to puke in the laundry room, why not in the litter box not next to it!!!! Of course better in there than my shoe. And I was glad it was the flip flops not the tennis shoes, but still, really my shoes!?!

Daisy…….Shit and Piss OUTSIDE!!!!! If you are out, do your business outside, don’t wait til you come in the house to do it! That is why we let you out, to do your business and run around. Not just to run around.

So there you have some of our own little “can’t get along” problems, I hope this puts a stop to them. I won’t be around tomorrow, doctor appointment, so I will be back on Friday, if  this migraine will ever go away! Oh, and Dr. L. still wants the tilt table test and is going to schedule it on his own. So now I get to wait a bit more. At least he is trying to do something. I give him credit for that. So until next time……..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!

I’m just here……

Ever had one of those days? I had one yesterday and today ain’t looking good! I would like you to know if you were one of the 4 million people to call here yesterday, your about to piss me off! Me thinks the “Do Not Call” thing must have expired!

No I do not want to switch over my phone service, I am quite happy where I am. And no, I am not interested in learning more about your product. No I do not want to find out how I can lower my car insurance and NO I do not want to answer your few questions! And last No I do not wish to start a subscription to family movies. I have enough movies in this house that do not get watched!

Now on to bigger fish! This brat child has started calling the house to talk to Little Miss. She didn’t call once or twice, she called 12, TWELVE, times!!!! I counted. The phone died they talked so much! Hell they killed both phones!!! Little Miss met her at a church thing a while back and they became friends. Nice? I thought so too. Well, Sunday I got a call, Little Miss was invited to stay with Miss Thang and Little Miss wanted to stay with her. I don’t know her parents, I know nothing about the people. So I tell her to have Grandam call me, thinking my mom will know them and have a clue. Mom doesn’t know them either. She has saw Miss Thang every now and then at church activities, had met her grandmother once and didn’t think she had ever saw the mom. So the answer to the question, “Can I spend the night with Miss Thang?” A big NO!

Little Miss swears they are nice people. Well, I am sure John Wayne Gacy was a nice fellow in his clown suit! It was once he pulled the handcuff trick on you, the real guy came out! And aren’t all serial killers described as nice and quiet, kinda kept to themselves! But you can’t tell a 9 year old things like that. I can hear her telling Miss Thang’s mom…….” My mom said you may seem nice but some John guy in a clown suit was nice then he arrested you and then he wasn’t nice.” You know she wouldn’t get it right.

So as good parents after she got home and asked why she couldn’t stay with Miss Thang, we tried to explain that we don’t know them. They could be the nicest people in the world, but sometimes nice people aren’t really nice and unless you know them, well, you just don’t know. I left out John Wayne Gacy, Jeffery Dahmer, you know all the serial killers that come to mind. I don’t want to scare her, but I also want to keep her safe.

Hubby was kind enough to add that some people just want to hurt kids and we had to be careful. *this was a mistake* I thought it was over then bedtime came around. And Sunday night’s stall was all about Miss Thang’s mom. “She knows where we live, I told her! What if she is one of the people who wants to hurt kids? I am scared mom!!!” OK, it is at this point I really should have gotten my husband up and let him deal with the idea he put in her head! But I didn’t. I tried to talk her off the ledge. I told her, Miss Thang’s mom was probably nice and not out to hurt her and wouldn’t come to our house to do it anyway if she was out to hurt kids. I told her Misty would bark, Bella would bark and Daisy would bark if someone tried to break in the house. I told her both doors were locked and we  were here and would keep her safe. I tried to be nice, but I knew this was a stall to keep from going to sleep more than I am scared. She finally decided the stall wasn’t going to work anymore and went on to sleep. I thought that was the end. I thought wrong!

SO yesterday Miss Thang started calling, I was OK with that. Then I was bushwhacked! Little Miss hands me the phone, I was thinking it was Miss Thang and I would just say NO. *See just like drugs, Just say NO!* I was wrong, it was Miss Thang’s mom! “She would be happy to have her over. They have had sleep overs before. 5-6 kids at  a time. She is disabled but can tend to a couple of kids. She is more than welcome anytime. Miss Thang just loves her and she is so sweet.”

OK thing number 1……She never called Little Miss by her name. Not real big, but it makes me wonder if she knows who was invited.

Number 2…… My kid has never stayed over there and I know no one who has. How am I to know she didn’t bury all the other kids in her back yard!

Number 3……. Well, was it 5 or 6? She can’t remember the exact number of bodies in her back yard, not a good sign!

Number 4…… I am not disabled and I have trouble tending to one kid. What she has super powers or handcuffs?

Number 5…….Anytime? Can I send her at midnight when she won’t go to sleep?

Number 6…… I personally think Miss Thang is spoiled! And that she just doesn’t really know Little Miss!

Number 7…… I still don’t know you!!!!!!! You sounded like a nice lady, but……. There is the serial killer thing again!

I told her it was nice of them to invite Little Miss over and I would have to talk to my husband and get back with them. There is no way in hell I am letting my child go and spend the night at a place I don’t know. Am I wrong?

I told Little Miss that we would see about them getting together one afternoon at the park and I could meet her mom and they could play. I thought a few times might give me a clue about the mom. I know she is divorced or that the dad doesn’t live with them. Maybe she was never married, I don’t know. Anyway, Little Miss was quite upset with me and let me know about it. Tough Shit on a Stick! She will get over it! Keep pissing me off and she will never see Miss Thang again! She doesn’t have to go to church functions and I don’t have to let her use the phone! So there! *Childish I know.*

So what else…… Oh I called my family doctor and made an appointment with him. I need my prescripton refilled and I couldn’t get the last doctor to do it for me! Ass. I am not looking forward to going. He thinks I am a nut and should have my head examined. When he sees I have been to Dr. B, the cardiologist, he will have a fit and I will have to tell him I went to Dr. L, the neurologist and MS specialist, and then he will really have a fit. And I may have to kick his ass! Hubby is going with me because he sees Doc saying something about my other doctor’s visits. He seems to think that he is the only doctor I need and I think he isn’t trying to figure out what is wrong, so I need another doctor. Apparently he is losing patients. It used to take a week or so to get in to see him for a non-emergency visit, this time, I could pick my day and time! I chose Thursday, don’t know why, just seemed like a good day.

I also called Dr. L. You know to find out what to do since Dr. B wouldn’t run the test he wanted. Well, 2 weeks ago I called and left a message with his nurse and she never returned my call. So I decided to try one more time, this time an actual human answered the phone! I asked the human on the other end, what I needed to do. According to her, Dr. B didn’t need to run the test, just sign off that my heart was fine and not the reason my heart rate was all screwy! She had the paper work in front of her, but Dr. B didn’t sign it!! SO she was going to have the nurse talk to Dr. L and get back with me. Still waiting!!!!

I hate doctors! They never return calls.

I hate bill collectors too! OK, one of them I do owe, I found the receipt that shows I did in fact only pay half of the bill. It was a test and they told me the wrong amount and you will get your money! Just give me a couple of days!!! The other……I. DO. NOT. OWE!!!!! I never went to that hospital. I never had an out-patient procedure there. I had an out-patient procedure near there, but NOT there. I could care less if the doctor has privileges there, it was not done at the hospital, it was done in his OFFICE a couple of blocks away from the hospital!!!! Damn money hungry sons ‘o bitches!!!!

Sometimes I want to just take out my phone. No one worth talking to ever calls! So I guess my bitching is over, I am going to go and take a percocet for my kidney stones(?) and finish up the washing and hope the day gets better. So until next time……

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!

It was a long weekend…….

So how was your weekend? Mine was well, LONG! My film? Still in the film cemetery. I have been busy and after what hubby did this weekend I will let it go til next weekend. So Monday is weekend update around here so let’s get started.

Friday, I got up and went to my parent’s and helped them pack a bit more and get a few things moved. Can I say if remodeling causes more divorces each year than cheating, then moving could tear apart a almost 50 year marriage. My God, they just snipped at each other all day! My Mom wants to move a room at a time. Smart! Pack up some, move it up, unpack and then move on. Dad was on board with this until Thursday. Now all of the sudden he wants everything packed and moved up there. They are going to hire a few muscle bound guys to move the furniture *OH, Yes I will be there to supervise this move* and he thinks they should hurry up and get moved. My mom on the other hand says if they pack it and move it up, there will be no place for the muscle bound guys to put the furniture. Smart.

So a big chunk of the day was spent with my mom, sitting down and trying to decide what to pack and where to go with it. I managed to pack up 2 china cabinets and the buffet. Can I just say my mom is a glass whore? OK, not a whore but come on I have never seen so much glass shit in my life! Mainly wine glasses, but a lot of crystal bowls too. And a pack rat! I now know where I get it from!!! She finally threw away a bunch of used wrapping paper and that cellophane stuff they wrap baskets in. In all I guess she threw out a half of bag of garbage and put a few things in for yard sale, She has a Hel-Mart bag full of taper candles. In colors she will not be using again….. rust, 10 shades of blue, a couple of shades of pink, a few unknown colors since they are so faded and they are in various heights. I tried to get her to go through those, she said later, but I have already saw a couple of other bags of candles!

Daddy has a rule…..If you go from the old house to the new house, you must carry something with you. That would be a good thing, but he carries decorative things and mom isn’t ready for that. So he has almost filled Little Miss’ room up with things mom doesn’t know where she is going to put them. And the other bedroom, he has filled with tools he has used around the house putting up blinds and towel racks, he lays them in there instead of putting them up. So there is another bone of contention. And he is taking things up she wants to put in the yard sale stuff, so she just gets to drag it back. And he won’t actually pack things, he doesn’t want to break anything, so he is just rushing her.

They are actually living in the new house now. Mom is still showering at the old house and they haven’t moved a TV so they still watch TV down in the old house and Dad’s computer is still in the old house as is the couch and most other furniture. Mom is putting stuff in the yard sale, Dad isn’t! Her stuff can go, but his stuff, not so much. I mean he just found his Party Animal t-shirt mom hid in the back of his closet. And the army coat from the 60s, come on, how can he part with it?

Little Miss spent the night with them, they stayed in the new house on pallets. Mom was soo sore she couldn’t barely move.

Saturday was a rainy day and kinda lazy. We did however go get my fridge!!!!!! It was a treat. My father, Mr do it the right way, my way Man. And my husband, Mr. Just do what it takes to get it done and no more. Had to work together, this was not good. Once we got there, we found out dad wanted Hubby and The Boy to move a few things to the new house. So they moved one of the China cabinets and the buffet. Dad wanted the Clavanova moved but my mom said it was too heavy to move up the steps, they would hire it moved.

So finally it is time to move the fridge! First, we thought we had completely unloaded it, but someone * ahem, my dad* forgot to push up the arm to stop the ice maker, so the ice tray was full. We did not know this until Hubby got the appliance truck hooked up and tilted it and the ice fell out into the freezer. It was decided I could clean it out when we got home with it. Only we couldn’t wait until we got home. When the fridge made it to the back door, it was discovered it wouldn’t fit through the door. So they had to take the doors off the fridge and when that happened all the ice fell into the floor and I got to clean it up then and then empty the ice tray. Of course all of the shelving had to come out. So we did that. And Mr Hubby and Mr Dad, had to work together and we make it a point to never allow that.

So we now have the shelves out, the ice out, the doors off and it is on the porch. We get it in the truck and for some reason the straps wouldn’t tighten enough and it was a little shaky and I got to follow him home with the fridge doing a rocking thing in the back of the truck. We took back roads as much as possible, can I say we had a few tense moments? We made it home with it, still upright!!! We got it in the house and then went to get the doors for it, because I was told they would not fit in the truck with the fridge and we would make another trip to get them. My husband took this opportunity to let me have it over the whole fridge deal. In my defense how could I have known it wouldn’t fit out of the damn door? They moved the damn thing in! It wasn’t too bad though. So now we get back to the house with the doors. It’s over right? WRONG!!!!

It seems I measured something wrong or the tape measure was off but anyhow, the fridge is 2 inches too tall to fit in the hole for it! So what to do……My husband takes down a section of my cabinets! Good Man!!!! I love a handy man!!! So the fridge is in its hole and it is a good 8 inches taller than the other one and a good 10 inches wider than the other one, so I had to move my tator bin. This is where the cat’s food bowl is, he is now confused! He sits at the side of the fridge and meows for food. I just moved it to the other side of the small wall! He is damn near standing in front of it to meow at the fridge!! I put him on the tator bin with his food, he meows. I hate that cat sometimes!!!!

So the fridge is in place and I am down a cabinet, I don’t have enough cabinet space as it is……… I can’t afford to lose cabinets………so……….I ask Hubby to figure out how to put it back up and make it look OK. Does he love me? He must, we now have a step up cabinet. I want the frame put back up, but he doesn’t think it will look right, but I think it will tie it back in with the other cabinet. Right now I don’t know where he put it or I would put it back up there. I am not pushing getting the water hooked up. That requires plumbing and he hates plumbing and I am just happy to finally have a fridge that won’t freeze my eggs!!!! So we went from this…….

No room, either freezes everything or thaws everything to this……..

25.2 cu ft of pure heaven!!! Ice and water in the door!!! Always wanted that and with any hope this coming weekend, I will get water out of the door. We can get ice, I filled up the ice tray and the ice…..it comes out of the door!!!! Can you see how excited I am? You would think I won the lottery!!! Hey, this is the best fridge I have ever had!!!! One of these days it will make ice, something I have never had. Every fridge I ever had did not come with an ice maker, or it was broke when I got it!!!! SO no more buying ice for me! What you think I made ice? Are you new here? I am too lazy to actually make ice!!! Wanna see the inside?

Ignore the fact there is very little in the way of food in there! I really need to go to the grocery store! But it has this neat little attachment…..

Love it! Not that I keep wine or such in the house that often *ahem* and it has this neat little thing….

Keeps your shit from sliding around. And it actually works! And the cabinet doesn’t look real bad…..

I still say the trim should go back up, but I won’t complain too loud just yet! And the other fridge is back in the laundry room for extra storage…..

Perfect fit! Like it was made for that hole! So that is what I did on Saturday and part of Sunday. Put my kitchen back together.

But Sunday I got up with a pain in my back about at the bottom of my ribcage, then it ran down to my lower back and across and then it started hurting in my lower abdomen. As long as I didn’t move to much and didn’t try to straighten up completely I could tolerate it. I did want my kitchen cleaned up so I could find things so I continued working. It wasn’t a “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus” type of pain or a “God just kill me now” type of pain, more of a “SON OF A BITCH!!!!” kind of pain! And I said it a lot! So in between cleaning I laid and tried to get relief and I drank a bunch of water and I went to the bathroom a lot.

Little Miss went to the Ice Cream social at church with my parents so I got a much needed break. I also cut Hubby and The Boy’s hair while I hurt. Damn them and their demanding ways!!!! I did get to sit in peace last night and I finally got to bed at about midnight and I tossed and turned til about 2 and I got up at 7 so I guess all will be OK. I am still in a good bit of pain. I am thinking kidney stones again, last time I hurt for several days and the doc just said if it got really bad go to the ER, whatta lot help he is! In fact he never confirmed it was kidney stones, no test were done, but he said he was pretty sure that was what it was and there was really nothing to do for them unless I couldn’t pass them and he doubted I would have a problem. So I guess I wait it out again. I do have to wash clothes and clean the house today, but it may not be the best job in the world, more of a slap at it kinda clean and a wash enough to keep us from going nakkid for the next couple of days.

Did I mention Aunt Flo showed up a week early again!?!  No, she is not helping matters any at all. And I also have a pimple the size of my thumb on my ass, no, not helping either! TMI I know but this is my life! So the good, the bad and the ugly!!! I must go now and try to accomplish something! SO until next time…….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!

Just wondering…….

I know in the grand scheme of things, what happens in my life and the decisions I make, make about as much difference as a fart in a hurricane, but have you ever wondered how things would be different if you changed something or if something didn’t happen.

I mean if I hadn’t been born, the only real difference in the world would be one less person. OK, maybe 4 less people, because my kids wouldn’t have been born or would they just have a different mom? That’s beside the point, I don’t want to argue that point. And that isn’t really the point either, I am talking about things in mine, your, life. I guess I am curious to why things happen and what changes there would be in your life if your decisions were different.

You know mainly the silly things like……

What if I hadn’t fell off the toilet at 5 and gashed my forehead? What would be different in my life? I know in the immediate future, I didn’t think I was big enough to get my own toilet paper. But now, no difference except for the scar in my eyebrow.

How about…. What if Tammy C. hadn’t peed in my chair in 1st grade and denied doing it? OK, well that one taught me to always look before sitting down! Also, I wonder from time to time why the hell she did it and if she feels bad about it!

What got me to wonderin’? I don’t have a clue, but here are a few things I thought of.

What if I would have paid attention to that cutey patootie that was a couple of years younger than me in school? OK, I flirted with him when we got older, so I guess I did pay him some mind. But what if I would have dated him, he was forever asking, even after I got married. I know he died in a car crash a few years back, so I guess I would have attended an ex’s funeral instead of my friend’s funeral. Or what if we had married, would he have died or would he had been home with me not out racing? No, I am not saying if I married him he would still be alive, just wondering what if.

What if I had married the first boy who kissed me? I mean it was true love at that tender age and we were going to be together forever!!!! Of course we would have had to get married at 16, he was killed in a car crash at 17. But what if we had stayed together, would we both be dead? Would we have been out partying together?

What if hubs hadn’t fucked up his back? Would we be rolling in dough? He had to give up the best paying job he has ever had, even by today’s standards. Would we still be together? It was a lot of traveling and after Little Miss was born, I wouldn’t have been able to go with him.

Have you ever wondered what if? I seem to be doing that a lot lately. The Boy does that a lot. Especially since Phillip died. His biggest what if is, “What if I had taken him home not to that guys house?” I know in my heart if it is meant to be, it will be. God’s will be done, but…….. what if.

There are a hundred what ifs in the world……

What if 9/11 had never happened?

What if there wasn’t a war going on?

What if Katrina hadn’t hit Louisiana?

What if Abraham Lincoln hadn’t won the presidency?

What if Martin Luther King Jr.  didn’t have his dream?

What if the south would have won?

What if JFK had said, “Fuck it, I’m not going to Texas!”?

What if Gore had won?

SO many more so little time. But I am thinking more in the terms of me, you, us. You know that fart in the hurricane.

What of I hadn’t started blogging? I can say I would have far fewer friends and a lot more time. And don’t get me started on Plurk, The time I would have!!!!

What if Little Miss had been born 3 years after her brothers not 10? I would have had the energy for her.

What if I wasn’t an animal lover? I guess I would have more money to spend.

What if I was born in the 20s not the 60/70s? That seems more like my kind of time.

Or the 40s? Gangsters!!!! I could have been a mob girl!!! OK, I could have been a mob girl in the 20s too, but I think the 40s would have been way more cooler!!! I guess I could have been born in the 20s and a mob girl in the 40s. Then a flower child in the 60s, OK I would have been too old to be a flower child. Work with me here, this is my what ifs!!!

What if my mom would have been a pot head? My dad was a drunk all through the 70s and into the 80s, but that is neither here nor there. I was wondering about my mom. Would I have been way cooler? Have better memories? You know like this…. ”Remember when mom got tore up and we ate cake for 3 weeks?” *Just so you know that didn’t happen, my mom wasn’t a pothead.*

What if my mom had worked while we were growing up? Would I be a better cook? Less of a clean freak? A working mom myself?

What if we had moved to New York when dad was transferred, instead of him getting a different job? Would I be a high class lawyer/businesswoman/high class hooker/ dirt poor hooker/druggie or would I still be a stay at home mom?

If we had moved would I still have married Hubs? I mean how the hell would I have met him? We have known each other since 2nd grade! OK, I would have known him but how would we have dated.

What if my last boyfriend hadn’t been an ass? Would I have married him?

What are your what ifs? How do you think your life would have been different?

Until next time…..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to The Boy!!!!

Nineteen years ago today I welcomed in to the world the first of my gray hairsa bouncing baby boy. He tried to get here for 3 months and the doctors refused to allow it and put me on bed rest. The first of many times momma has needed bed rest since this child showed up!

*I apologize forthe poor quality, the scanner still hates me!!!* He came out with his mouth open, should have let me know he was going to eat constantly!!

He was always listening in on everything! Still does, he constantly hears things he shouldn’t!

Such a sweetie! I could dress him anyway I wanted to then! Oh, how I miss those days!

Always a cowboy at heart!! Who knew I would end up with a redneck!!

This is the only ball picture to come out! We had 9 years of basketball, baseball and football! We never left the freaking ball fields!!!

OK, occasionally we did leave the ball fields, here is proof. Water park fun!!!

Who knew when I let him be a gangsta for Halloween, it was a sign for what was to come?

Big jump in age, from the 8th grade until he was about 15, we didn’t like him, he didn’t like us and he did everything possible to make our lives miserable!!! Oh, we loved him, but there just wasn’t much time for pictures what with court dates, probation, community service and such. I am sure there are pictures if I dig enough but I have no desire to relive that period of his life! I do have a nice picture put up of him drunk off his ass at a party when he was 14. But I won’t be publishing it! As you can see he survived those years. I saved his ass from his daddy more times than I can remember.

He really is a sweetie sometimes the way his hair curls up! And if you think I have any pictures with out a damn hat on, think again! He never goes hat-less anymore, We had to snatch the hat off in court!

See, I really wish I could dress him again!! At this point, he has 4 shirts in his closet that still have sleeves! He cuts the sleeves off of everything!!! Grab a booty and pinch.*damn boy*

Something else we can’t get rid of…..Those damn glasses and that damn dip!!!! I would love to see his gorgeous eyes again!!! And the spit bottles……I hate those things!!!!

SO there you go…..My boy in all his glory! He started out as a tiny little thing that we never thought would grow, 50 pounds in the 7th grade folks! He went through his wild years and I developed a lot of gray hair and had several nervous breakdowns, but we survived. We buried his best friend when he was 17, grew closer because of it. (Oh, what I would give to not had to do that. To find a way to be close without burying his best friend. I fear today will bring back a lot of memories of Phillip and a few tears shed in those memories. His birthday does that, he thinks of the partying and fun they would have had together, most big events do. RIP Phillip!)  And now we love him dearly and are very proud of him, most of the time.

Today is not only his 19th birthday, it is his 1 year anniversary of the job he hates with a passion! He hates this job with more passion than he loves his alcohol and dip!!! And that is saying a lot!!

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY!!!!!!! It better be smooth sailing from here on out! Or I may not save you from your daddy again. heh!!!

Well until next time……

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!

I have an award!!

Well, I got another award!!!! I must be doing something right! My stats are plummeting to the Earth quicker than cow shit to the ground but……..I am making someone smile!!!! And that is what the award is…….

The wonderful Tismee2, from squaredoff, gave me this one too. I really should get off my ass and make one of my very own to give to her, because really she is great! Do you think I linked her enough? Because really you should go over there and see her. OK, so I got off my ass and I have this for her…….

I should give her two, but she can just paste it twice. So Tismee2 here you go, not an award but a Thank You bouquet just for you!!

So I was told I should pass this along to a few deserving souls. So if you read me, it makes me smile and you should go ahead and take it, just link back to Tismee2 so she can get full credit for her work! And if you should so desire……link back to me because as I said my stats are falling like cow shit and I could use the traffic! MAWHAHAHAHHAHA!!! Just kidding. Sorta. I guess.

So who makes me smile? I have quite a few folks actually. And this is where it gets hard adding all the links, but I suppose you are all worth it! So without further ado here are a few people who make me smile……

BlueMomma even though you have been missing a lot lately *Ahem, I forgive you for having a life outside the box*, you put a smile on my face every time!

Putz what can I say? I love your comments and they always put a smile on my face! I know you already have one of these, but this one is from ME!!!

Sam Another one who has been MIA a little lately, but those adorable kids do take a lot of time! And who could not smile at those faces!

Queen of the Shake-Shake what can I say about the Queen? Go read her she will put a smile on your face too.

Rima OK, her post are intelligent and witty and I always smile, but when I saw a comment where she said she thought I was funny, it took me a little while to recover!

Catwoman I spew coffee and tea when I read her! Not good to laugh so hard when drinking! My computer hates me and now my keyboard keys are all sticky and YUCKY! But I have learned to not have beverages around when I read her!

Welcome to my Sandbox She is something like me. She has her gripes and she doesn’t fear putting them out there!

BurghBaby This is a recent find, through Plurk. No, she is not new to the blog world, I am just new to reading her, silly! I saw her here and there and thought nah, I have enough blogs to read, but after reading her at Plurk, I had to go over and I am hooked!

ChasingMyself I could not leave Janice out, she is my lesbian lover you know. BAWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Shh….don’t tell hubby, he will get jealous!!!! Seriously, she is great and I love her, I dare say she could be my twin in attitude, only she is much better at it than me!

And to make it a perfect 10

A whole Lot of Nothing Her page locks up my computer every time dammit, but it is worth it. Once it finally gets loaded, I laugh my ass off. She has had the best pictures of her little ones lately!

So there you go, I tried not to hit the same ones, but I am sure I did hit a few again. And there are so many I could give it to, but then I have to go around and leave comments all over the place and drive people insane as they try to figure out who this nut is and why does she want me to come to her blog. Really, they have no clue, even though I comment all over the place. So take your award and pass it along and know that you truly deserve it!

Until next time……

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!

What a wonderful day in the neighborhood.

How are my wonderful followers today? I should say I am a little irritated but otherwise I am in fairly good spirits. Why am I irritated? Well, I don’t have my pictures! I know I am completely shocked too. HA! I swear my husband is trying to get himself killed. Why don’t I just go get my pictures myself? I have 3 really good reasons…..

1. He keeps driving my car to work.

2. I don’t know what the hell he has done to my car, but I can barely drive it now. It pulls bad to the right and shimmies and shakes so bad it feels like the wheel is fixing to fall off.

3. He took the debit card and all the money with him!

The last one really gets me. He puts the debit card in his wallet and “forgets” that he has it. And any money that comes in the house ends up in his wallet. The wallet that stays in his back pocket until bedtime. I don’t think to get money after he goes to bed. I can have money in my purse and get up to get it and discover it is gone! When I ask him about it, he gives me this, ” I was broke and I figured you were going to be at home and wouldn’t need it.” That just pisses me off.

I used to hide money here and there. Not much a dollar here and a dollar there. That way I was never actually broke. I tried to keep enough to get cigarettes or a few gallons of gas. I managed to stash away 50 bucks one time. Little by little I have had to get into it and he has found my hiding places, so I am down to a few quarters here and there. I came up with the money when I would find it in the washer or dryer, just laying around. I didn’t take it from his wallet, though I sometimes think I should. But I understand he is out on the road all day and needs things. Drinks, food and such, but I need to have a little cash on hand just in case. You know I have killed someone and I need to get away! heh!!

But anyway, he swears we will get them on Thursday or Friday night. I am not holding my breath. I usually end up getting screwed if there is any screwing going on. Not him, not Little Miss and not The Boy, but me. If he wants he will find a way to get it. Same with The Boy and Little Miss, if they want, he finds a way to get it. If I want, I must find my own way and get it myself. And the bad thing is I really don’t want that much and what I want is inexpensive! ANYWAY……

I am going to get my fridge this week!!!!! My mommy is going to clean it up for me then I only have to get hubby go get it! Which he will, because he is tired of our tiny fridge!

It is so small it doesn’t even tell me how many cubic feet inches it is! I would take a picture of the interior to show how much it won’t hold, but then you would see all the spills and how little food is actually in there. This was our spare. Yes we had a spare fridge, it was in the laundry room and it held cokes and beer and the freezer held bread and extra meat. And anything else I could stash away in there. But the old fridge went out and this one moved to the kitchen and now I hate the hell out of it.

But Mom and Dad are FINALLY getting to move into the new house and the fridge in the old house is MINE!!!!!! I am told all food and such is out of the fridge and in the new house, but she has to clean it and still needs it for water since the move is still not complete. They still have the TV, furniture and pots and pans and most of their shit in the old house. They are doing a slow move. The necessities first, then the other stuff. They bought a new bed and furniture for the sun room so they have a place to sit and sleep and the pots and pans are moving today! So they will be in it pretty much. They are going to hire someone to move the furniture but they are moving all small things.

What else is going on…… I have to let the neighbor’s dog out again today. I swear those people go too much! She isn’t a problem or anything, but I have to walk over there and even though he is a neighbor, I live in the country so it ain’t a couple of feet over there! And then there is Little Miss, I have to wait til she is up and I am already 30 minutes late for the first trip out. Oh, well hope she has a strong bladder.

Oh, I am in trouble with MIL! Yesterday was her birthday and we all forgot! I am sure the others remembered, but not this household! I am sure Miss Passive-Aggressive will have something to say about it. I must remember to tell her today when she gets home from work. Yes she is back at work! For 2 weeks before school she works days, peace in the valley of me!! When she goes back to work that means 2 things for me!

1. She is gone from 7am til 3pm. So I can do as I damn well please and do not have to worry about her screwing it up.

2. TWO MORE WEEKS AND LITTLE MISS IS BACK IN SCHOOL!!!!!

On to something else and I must go. I read this last night and I tried it, it is really neat. SO married or not give this a try. Ever wonder why you put you wedding band on the fourth finger? The Chinese came up with this explanation….

Each finger represents a relationship.

Thumb: your parents

Second (index): your siblings

Middle: yourself

Fourth (ring finger): your life partner

Last (little) your children.

First, open your hands (palm to palm), bend your middle fingers and hold them together (between the 1st and 2nd knuckle). Hold the other fingertips together.

Now try to separate your thumbs. They will open, because you are not destined to live with your parents forever. At some point you must leave.

Join your thumbs back together. Separate your index fingers. They will also open, because you and your siblings will have your own families and lead separate lives.

Join the index fingers again. Now separate you little fingers. They will open too. Children get married and settle down on their own.

Join your little fingers again. Now try to separate your ring finger. You will be surprised to find you can’t. Because husband and wife are to remain together all their lives.

Interesting? I thought so, of course I am easily entertained! I will also stand up and walk away from the monitor on those emails that tell you to stand15 feet from the monitor to see a picture. I am kind of stupid like that!

I should go and let the dogs out. Both mine and the neighbor’s. SO until next time……

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!

The gassiest place on Earth!

Would you like to know where the gassiest place was this weekend? Anywhere our trip took us!!!! On to the weekend update! I know you are all waiting with baited breath to find out how it went. As the weekend goes by you will see just how gassy it got…..

Starting with Thursday since everything was up in the air when I left you.

My husband hates me or wants me in a nut house ASAP! After a lot of figuring and hair pulling, mine not his, it was decided we would go. What the hell, we are always broke and this would be about the last weekend to go before school and such starts back. Well, this is when my darling, sweet husband decides he will see how insane he can make me how much I love him how much I love Little Miss if I cared if the littlest Hellion went with us. I got the whole but she would have more fun with another kid along, he would entertain her, he won’t cost that much more, I will make him mind, he will be my responsibility. I just cringed, but I knew there was no winning this. So he invited Littlest Hellion, who is 5 years old, to go with us! I knew his mom would agree, hell, that means she wouldn’t have him.  So she gave us $40. to help out with feeding him and getting in to the places.

Littlest Hellion stayed with us Thursday night, because we were leaving EARLY on Friday morning! Oh, how funny, this group up early, yea, right. So the excited kids finally went to bed and went to sleep around 11 and the adults got in the bed around 12, last minute details to get together. I set my alarm for 6am. We were to leave at 6:30…..latest!

My alarm went off at 6am, I growled but I got up and had my coffee. I got dressed, I got completely ready. I was quick! I was done by 6:20! I was ready and waiting. And I waited, no need to get the kids up until hubs is up. I waited 6:30….6:45…..7am- Little Miss gets up scratching and saying, UH, Chattanooga! …..7:15…….7:30 hubs finally gets up…..7:45 he finally gets in the shower……7:50 Littlest Hellion gets up…..8:30 we are finally out the door! 2 hours late! I could have slept and drank my coffee in peace but NO we were leaving early!

So we are on the road, have to stop and get Littlest Hellions clothes. We also get snacks and a couple of portable DVD players….Thanks Red! So after another 30 minutes we are off! Before we got to Tennessee, it is decided the kids need headphones for said DVD players and a few more snacks. So we stop. Two different stores and finally we are off again. This is about the time both of the kids got gassy!! Every few minutes we heard *giggle* “AH, THAT FELT GOOD!!!!” * giggle* About every couple of miles and at every spot we stopped!!! I have never heard so much farting!!!!! And they thought it was hilarious!!!!!

 About Signal Mountain, TN, I remember my camera will only take about 30 pictures before it runs out of memory, so stop we must. I get a memory card for my camera. Get to the car and find out it won’t work. But we were already on the road, so I will just deal with it! So we finally get to the Zoo, our first destination. It is a small zoo, not many animals, but I love animals so I am excited. The kids? Not so much.

Does this give you an idea of how the animals felt about me? Yes, every time I got out the camera, they ran to hide! How is this one……

The peacock that had escaped……hid from me, but I fooled him, I hunted him down and got the damn picture! This is the only animal to pose for me……..

The wanna-be porn star! Laid out all spread eagle begging to be photographed!

So how was the zoo? I would have enjoyed it if the kids would have allowed it! All they wanted to do was find a hotel with a pool and get there NOW! They damn near ran through the place! They had no interest in the animals finding anything out about them, nothing! Oh they did want to ride the carousal and get refreshments. Both they saw coming in!

Best picture of the day. They sat still for it! And they were doing what they wanted to do. The Refreshments, they did not get, we fed them like 15 minutes before we got there. So we were off to find a hotel with a pool!

We rode around, the first one……not a dump but not really nice either….100 bucks a night. The next place a fairly nice place……200 bucks a night! We moved on. The third place, hubs took, fairly nice, indoor pool and only 110 bucks for the night. He has no sense of adventure! I told him let’s drive around look some more! He said he needed to shit and was tired of driving. So we had a hotel. We disappointed the kids, we were off again. Raccoon Mountain……

The kids didn’t want to go cave crawling, they did not want to pan for gold, they didn’t want to do anything but go back to the hotel and get in the pool. So we traveled on! We went to another Hel-Mart to exchange the memory card that wouldn’t work. Turns out my camera is old and couldn’t handle the extra memory. So we bought disposable cameras. Three of them. Then it was off to Ruby Falls….. 

We decided not to put out the 70 bucks to go through the cave, but we looked around and pissed the children off. It was really fun! I could get them to smile on occasion for the camera anyway. So the kids were ready to head back and we were not so we moved n to the next attraction! Rock City!!!

Waterfall picture courtesy of Little Miss. She had to have a picture of it!

Ignore how bad we look! We were hot and had been chasing children. I was still fine at this point, it was a little higher where my fear of heights come in to play!!!!

There was a few tight squeezes. My darling Little Miss chose this time to entertain the people in front of us, by saying, ” Let’s send Mom in first, if she makes it through we will all fit!” The people in front of us had to see how big Momma was and laughed all the way through! This is not the tightest squeeze we had….

 

 I have a irrational fear of heights, I can not take it, I get dizzy and my fear for all around me goes into OVERDRIVE!!!! I spent the next little while yelling, ” Don’t climb on the railing!” “Don’t lean over that railing!” ” Slow down, don’t run! Look at how far you would fall!!!!” And I hate to admit it, but I didn’t keep it to the children who were with me. I yelled at other people’s children, other adults, my husband, even dogs! But I really did well considering…..

I couldn’t take the picture, I couldn’t go near the railing! I was hugging the rocks! I had to move along to a rock and sit down far away from the edge!! But hubby got this for me so I could see it! Isn’t it beautiful!!!!

The following pictures are not very good, but it was all in black light and glowing. I had to goose the hell out of all of these to be able to see them.

The pictures do not do this place justice, it is spooky and beautiful all at the same time. It is pitch black and all you can see is the figures.

This is the last picture I have, the rest are on the disposable cameras and they are now in the film cemetery! It is the area of the desk where all film goes and never gets developed! I promise you this, I have 2 disposable cameras from 2 years ago, a trip to Guntersville Lake. And 3 rolls of film from before I got my digital camera, 4-5 years ago!!!! So, hubby wouldn’t go yesterday and swears we will go tonight, we will see!

So from Rock City, we did manage to get the kids back to the hotel. We just had to torture them one last time…….Dinner first! To keep the great hissy fits down, we went to the Waffle House right next door to the hotel. This would have been the biggest mistake we made all weekend. We ate waffles, eggs, and sausage. Hubs had a burger, it cost us over 30 bucks!!!!! For freaking breakfast!!!!! I almost choked on my waffle.

So we finally got to the pool, hubs and I chose to sit on the sidelines. The chlorine smell could choke a horse! To say it was strong would be an understatement! We all ended up with headaches! The children got in the pool and were in it all of 30 minutes, they were done! Neither liked it. All day long all I heard was pool, and after 30 minutes they wanted out! I could have killed them. We went back to the room and changed and just rode around. We went to Hel-Mart and picked up more snacks and more disposable cameras, went back to Rock City and rode back down the mountain and looked at the city lights, we explored the city of Chattanooga, we just ran out gas.

We got back to the hotel around 10pm. We told the kids to go to sleep, it took them til about midnight, by that time I had developed a massive migraine and all I wanted was to go to sleep. Hubs had other ideas, but he was disappointed.

At 6am the city of Chattanooga decided to empty the dumpster right outside our window. So guess who was up again? Yes, that would be me! I had my coffee and sat and waited for my wonderful companions to finally get up. They did about 9am. Did I mention, check out was at 11. Breakfast was only served until 10am and all we could get was a NON SMOKING room!!!! Did I mention, I love my morning cigarette with my morning coffee? So we had to get 4 showers, packed and downstairs for breakfast. We somehow managed to get showers, packed and out of there with 15 minutes to spare before breakfast was gone. The kids ate and we were off.

The Tennessee Aquarium!!!! I hope the pictures from this place turn out! We went in the Ocean one first. The penguins!!!!!! My favorite. Only the kids wanted to see everything NOW and couldn’t wait for me to look at much!!! That and the people who took up residence at the windows. They weren’t taking pictures, videos, nothing! Some were just standing there and talking to each other. And I was having trouble seeing anything. I hope to upload pictures from it tomorrow. We did see sharks, a bunch of ugly fish, and I was able to pet a small shark and a stingray. The tank was deep and the stingray and shark stayed out of the kid’s reach. Little stinkers! I think they were a bit upset about it, but we saw the butterflies and they flitted around them, made it a little better.

Then they played in the cement creek between the two places and had a lot of fun! I got pictures of that too. Then it was off to the River one, I got a lot of pictures of ugly fish. There was a common theme between the 2 places…..A LOT of UGLY fish!!! I did see a few pretty fish, but most were downright ugly!!! I took a ton of pictures!

Then it was snack time again, more playtime in the cement creek. This time it was not wading, they decided to jump in, sit down and then lay down in the water. The Littlest Hellion dripped water down his legs for an hour, Little Miss almost as long. Her clothes were thinner than his. So we decided to do a bit of walking to let them dry. We went to a park, we walked to the Marina and looked at huge boats, I got pictures. We walked around town, saw a lot of old buildings. We rode a electric shuttle from one end of town and it took us to the other end of down town and dumped us out. I did get to see the Chattanooga Choo Choo. I got a few pictures. After all of this the kids were exhausted and ready to sit and we figured out if we got back on the shuttle it would carry us back to the car!!!

We finally got back to the car and was off. The kids started sniping at each other right about the Tennessee state line! So we were trapped in the car with 2 gripey kids!!!! We stopped at a McDonald’s to feed them, in hopes of settling them down. Little Miss hurt her ankle on the playground equipment, and she was bitchy! The Littlest Hellion was hogging the DS, the DVD player, the head phones. And get this we had TWO DVD players and headsets. But they both wanted to listen to the same CD. Only they couldn’t both listen to it. So the Littlest Hellion kept unplugging Little Miss’ headphones.

We stopped at Russell Cave in Alabama. I didn’t get pictures there. We went through the museum, but did not go down to the cave. The kids were ill. We stopped in Madison to clean the office before going home. Needless to say that did not go over well.

We finally got home and would you believe, the Little Hellion wanted to stay with us again!!! We sent him packing. But he didn’t go home, he only went to Mammaw’s, so first thing in the morning he was back.

On Sunday we cleaned up mom’s car and took it home. The Boy made it back from Florida and we all survived the weekend. I did get pissed, we were suppose to go to Hel-Mart to have my pictures put on disk and we didn’t. It was decided by hubs, we would wait until later. I got pissed but I cleaned the house and unpacked the clothes and felt better. So the Littlest Hellion finally went home at 7pm!!! I was ready for him to go home.

So how was your weekend? I hope to post the rest of the pictures soon. So I must go and finish cleaning and do a lot of washing!!! Tons ‘o washing! So until next time…….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!

Shock and Awe!!!!

It was shock and awe yesterday! Let me just say from the very beginning…..YESTERDAY. SUCKED. VERY. MUCH!!! I don’t think you understand what I am saying! YESTERDAY. SUCKED. VERY. MUCH. BAD. !!!!!! No it wasn’t a death in the family, horrible accident, someone went to jail kinda day. It just sucked. Here is the story which gets us to the Shock and Awe time…..

First, I got out of bed! Shouldn’t be a bad thing, but if I had known then what I know now, I would have stayed in the bed and let the day go by!!! I wrote my post, not a bad thing, went fairly smoothly….Well, until I was digging through pictures on the damn computer and had trouble finding the ones I wanted. So I decided I should really organize my pictures! Bad fucking idea! First I should state I have 40 million 75 thousand several hundred pictures on this damn computer. I have folders…..pets, Little Miss, The Boy, EasyE, JML and hubby…..A LOT of folders. But there is 2 folders that get every damn picture….The big folder that has all the other folders in it and my pictures. That is where all pictures are downloaded to. So I was trying to get all my pictures put in the folder that they belong in and then in sub-folders so I could find the ones I want. I went crossed-eyed. I had a lot of duplicate pictures, I don’t know how that happened. But……I now have most of the folders in order. One copy of each picture, in its sub-folder, in the right folder, in the big folder. I think I am short 3 folders having it done, I worked off and on all day!!!!

While I was cussing pouring over the pictures, I was Plurking. As everyone probably knows from my gripes, Plurk has been a pain in my ass! *Dear Plurk Gods, please fix the problems! Just auto-refresh and keep auto- refreshing!!! Quit playing games with me. Works, don’t work, works, don’t work!!!*

So I was going through pictures and Plurking and cussing and drinking coffee and avoiding housework of any form. Hubby calls and says the trip is off, for various reasons! All valid reasons, but all the fucking reasons I gave him when he got this whole damn idea, before he told Little Miss!!! He wants me to tell Little Miss! BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! How stupid does he think I am? I will not be the one who breaks this child’s heart! So now I am Plurking, going through pictures, cussing, and scrambling to figure out how to keep the trip a float!

Car? Check, borrow Mom’s! Hotel? UH, cheapest rate I can find $89. UH…..Check???? Aquarium? Check, open and selling tickets. Zoo? Check, open selling tickets and got the coupon! Money? Fuck it all to hell!!!!! Bills!!!!!! Dammit!!!! Do a little squirming, play with the dates, *getting a headache* cash The Boy’s check for insurance, hey, he has to pay his own share! Dammit! So far not check! Working on it still the same!

While losing my mind cussing my husband’s very existencecalmly figuring out money, Little Miss and BOTH of the Hellions come in. Not what I needed! Oldest Hellion grabs the DS, littlest Hellion wants his turn, Little Miss wants to play too. So the griping, whining, and general bitching starts. Is this enough? Why hell NO! MIL has to bring her ass over too!!! Does she help matters? NO!!! She just sits and tries to get Littlest Hellion to go home with her by bribing him. She is louder than the kids! She does not succeed in her bribery. I tell them to get along or I will have the DS and no one will be playing it! They can take turns or put it up. It is at this point the oldest Hellion starts giving me the “go fuck yourself” look that makes me want to smack his head off.

I am having to deal with the insurance company and that ain’t never good! So after MIL left taking the Hellions with her and I wouldn’t let Little Miss go, Little Miss started having a small fit. Not huge but enough to get on my already rattled nerves. I sent her to bed, better of my two ideas. I call BCBS, I am in the middle of “talking” to a computer *I hate those things!! My southern accent doesn’t match with their computer!* . I heard the God awfullest noise coming from Little Miss’ room. Sounded like a wrecking ball going through her room! Hung up and went to check it out. It was Little Miss, she was flinging herself around in her bed and having a HI-HO fit!!! Now I don’t normal whoop her ass, OK, I do on occasion, but I try to avoid it, like a good mom. But I had had ENOUGH!!! So I whooped her ass and told her to stay in the bed until hell froze over the cows came home I called her. So I figured I had a few minutes before the shock of the ass whooping wore off.

I called BCBS back. I went through the whole computer again and was put on hold. While I am waiting for them to answer I will tell you the story behind the call..

We got a bill from an ER doctor for The Boy from 4-07. The bill is for services rendered. The charge $244.00 First, I remember The Boy going to the ER in 7-07, when he flipped his truck and stepped on the exhaust pipe and burned his foot, but I cannot recall 4-07. A call to the hospital cleared this up. He was there in the ER, but they don’t know why. I am also told that this doc is no longer under contract with them and I am about the thousandth person to call about a bill from him! A call to the doc’s billing service, tells me the insurance denied their claim because BCBS sent me a check. Back the fuck up! I have never gotten a check from BCBS! Long story short, they cannot tell me why they waited over year to file the claim and I owe them all of the money. Now back to the insurance company….

BCBS said they did not deny the claim, they just won’t pay it because my deductible has not been met. I tell them I have never had a deductible on doctors before. I am told this doctor is “out of network” so I have a deductible for this doctor. I told them I went to a “in network” hospital and no one told me this doctor was “out of network”. He said he was sorry, but when the claim was filed, he was ” out of network” and I am responsible for the bill. I asked him if the doc was “in network” at the time of service. He said when the claim was filed….blah, blah, blah. Again he was sorry, but I had met $45.40 of my deductible for The Boy in ‘07. Big fucking deal, it is ‘08!!!!

So now I have a migraine and Little Miss has kicked her hissy up a notch while I was on the phone. I ignored her as I got pisseddealt with BCBS, but I can NO longer! My head is pounding, my eyes are killing me, I feel like I am going to spew forth a lot of shit, I feel like hell! Little Miss takes this opportunity to scream,” I. WISH. I. WAS. DEAD!!!!”

OK, I am ready to grant this wish! I storm calmly go in and yell my fool head off try to talk to her. She is having none of it. This is the conversation…..

LM…..I wish I was dead. Everyone is so mean to me!

JML…. I am glad your not dead. If you would behave you wouldn’t get into so much trouble!

LM…..I hate this family!!!! You are so MEAN!

JML….. Well, we love you!

LM….. NO YOU DON’T!!!!!

JML….. If you would act like a human instead of a spoiled little brat, you would not get into trouble as much!

LM……. You are MEAN!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!

JML……This is not my fault! You….

LM…..Yes it is! You are mean! You wouldn’t let me go with the Hellions and I am BORED!!!! You won’t let me have my game!!!!! You are mean, you don’t love me, I hate you!

JML…..NO. YOU. FUCKED. UP!!!!! YOU THROUGH THE DAMN HISSY! YOU THREW DOWN YOUR GAME! YOU TRIED TO TEAR YOUR ROOM APART!!! NO YOU FUCKED THIS UP DEARY!!!!! 

LM…. *crickets chirping*

JML…. *leaves the room*

This was the shock and awe part! I know….I try not to use the grandfather of all cuss words in front of Little Miss! I know….Bad Momma!!!! I know…. I should not have spoken without counting to 100!!!  But it shut her the hell up! For about 15 minutes, I was able to die suffer cover my eyes with a towel and try to ease my headache!

After that, the Hellions came over, I sent them back across the yard, without Little Miss, who was being punished. I laid on the couch and tried to dieget rid of my headache, Little Miss would have none of this, not that she bothered me, you know I am A-1 bitch extraordinaire, but she was climbing around in the kitchen, riffling through the cabinets, searching for food. I finally listened to enough of that shit and told her to get the hell off the cabinets because I did not want to make a trip to the ER and she needed no food. I went and laid down.

She did manage to come in the room twice and bother me. Once she wanted to go outside, NO! Next she wanted to go swimming, NO! I took a 20 minute nap. I woke up to find her missing. She was in the pool with the girl form next door. WTF!!! I felt too bad to bitch. I would get her when she came in!

Hubby called, he has NO sympathy for me and my day or my headache! All he wants to know is if I told Little Miss the trip is off. UH…..NO! So now he is pissed at A-1 BITCH Extraordinaire too. I don’t give a flying rat’s ass! He cancelled the trip, he can tell her! He decides since I “feel bad” he will clean while he is at the office, unloading the load of cement. * Good man!* Once he gets home, he tells Little Miss about the trip. But he really doesn’t tell her about the trip. He kind of lets on like he is playing around! This PISSES me off! He tells her it should be put off til next week. He figures this gives him another week. WEENIE!!!! All his talk of we’re 40, she’s 9. We are the BOSS, she is the kid. A lot of BS!!! He doesn’t want to deal with the kid!

My headache eased enough I could see again. I Plurked a bit after Hubby went to bed. Little Miss did her up and down routine and we didn’t hear word one from The Boy! I fooled some more with the pictures. I finally got to take my nauseous, head-achy, blurry eyed ass to bed at a little past midnight.

This morning when the alarm clock went off at 7:15, I growled! Mainly because I already heard Little Miss up and on the phone to her dad!!! This is not a good sign of what is to come!!! Though Hubby called and wanted to know if we could swing the trip. He was already off tomorrow and if I could get The Boys check cashed to pay his insurance, that would help. I paid the bills on line and over the phone, We have a few cents left in the checking account and some of his bonus check in my purse. Why the fuck not!?! We stay broke anyway!!

So is the trip on or off? Who the hell knows! I guess I will figure it out, when or if we get in the car. I must call and confirm that we can in fact borrow Mom’s car. (The Little Crapper, would not make it!) I know the insurance would cover hubby driving it, mom says it is OK and I will have to put gas in it. The great WALL OF TROUBLE would be whether or not my Dad is on board with it or if he is having a hissy fit.  I love my dad, but he is a pain in my ass too! He will give his left arm to the church, but loan me his car? It is unknown. I don’t want him mad at mom for loaning it or anything, so……I guess he may be the deciding factor. Just how much does he love Little Miss? Would he be the one to disappoint her? OH, I am not above using Little Miss to get the car! MAWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!! So how was your day?

Until next time……..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!

Enough is enough is enough…

Lately I have had a surge of door to door salesmen coming around. I thought they quit that. I mean look at the nuts in the world. I want to be the nut they avoid!! I had two that were selling the same books, not together but back to back. I had one selling another kind of book. A few cleaner people. And I had one guy who was selling a product he never called by its name and I never saw it. He gave me the creeps! 

I try to be nice I know it is their job, but I don’t want it and I can’t afford it and I wish they would leave me alone! Most everything sold door to door is high as a cat’s back and not really needed. I mean sure I need something to clean my walls, but not that 30 bucks a bottle cleaner they are selling that would take 4 bottles to clean my walls. And really I can go to Hel-Mart or Target and get what I need and it would be a lot cheaper and I wouldn’t be letting a stranger in my house!

They have a do not call list, why not a do not visit list! So I am trying to figure out what I can do or say to get me put on a list where door to door salesmen will leave me alone but not be put on some sort of watch list! Here are my ideas, let me know which one you think will work!

1. Sorry too busy…….I have tried this one, it takes them 20 minutes to say it will not take too long.

2. Not interested……I have tried this, they are convinced I would be interested if I just give them a few minutes of my time.

3. Can’t afford it now….. I have tried this and I always get that, “But I get paid by how many households I show it to.” Which I believe to be Bullshit.

So now that I have listed the nice, polite ideas and showed you why they don’t work, here are my other ideas….

4. You may come in and clean all of my walls, but not just a spot on a wall. If you only clean a spot, then I will be forced to buy your shit to clean the rest of the walls.

5. Thank you, the vacuum broke last week and my house needs vacuuming!!

6. I will listen to your sales pitch for window cleaners while you clean all of my windows, not just one! Sorry I will not be buying, but I won’t need it will I.

7. Oh, Lord I hope that is carpet cleaner you got there, the puppy had a bad case of the shits and I need you to clean it up quick!

Some are harder than others and not all sell cleaners so I may have to move on.

8. Yell, “Oh, LORD, The voices are back!!!” You can do this before you even open the door.

9. I knew God would send me help! I needed to talk to someone about my problems!!! I am sure he sent you to me.

10. Tell them they just saved you from your suicide attempt. Then say you need to rest and close the door.

11 *COUGH* Damn TB!!!

12. I’ll let you tell me about your product after I tell you about my PLANET!

13. Great! You can change GranPaws diaper!

14. Peek out the window and ask if they are from the Health Department.

15. My daughter’s school is having a fund raiser, let me get the book!

16. What the hell kind of piece of shit are YOU selling?

17. Tell them there is a special place in hell for people like them and offer to show it to them. (Of course this could get the police out and that would take longer than the sales pitch!)

Now rudeness and silliness may not work on the hard core salesman, so I offer these mental angles……

18. Run screaming from the house.

19. Ask them, “What children?” even if the kids are present.

20. Answer the door wearing a  Halloween mask.

21. Slur your words and talk gibberish.

22. ” Momma is that you? Where the hell have you been!” Or daddy if it is a man.

23. ” The temptation……I swore I wouldn’t hurt another salesman after they released me!!!!”

24. “Does this mean the police are coming again?”

And this one would get the police on your door steps and quite possibly involve a watch list you don’t want to be on, but it should work….. You could go in 1 of 2 ways….

25. *leering at them* “You look tasty!!!”

* holding a butcher knife* ” You look TASTY!!!”

Of course you could just grab the free gift and slam the door, but they may consider it theft. I don’t know how since it is a FREE gift and all.

And in the case of a Charity that is really pushy…. Offer to donate to their organization if they donate to your charity. Then just give them their money back if they actually donate! If they don’t then there you go.

So what do you think? Would any of them work? I am at my wits end with these people! It’s the nice weather that brings them out. Damn Alabama weather!!

Is this a problem for others? Or is it just my house?

Misty used to be a great deterrent, but now that she has like 4 teeth, not so much anymore. They always ask, “Does it bite?” and I always tell them, ” Not if your quick.” They don’t need to know she has slowed down in her old age.

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Daisy is a pit bull and most are afraid of them, but she is still a baby and not very scary looking!

Bella, well, she looks scary but they just don’t notice her too much. And she has that “I’m not at home” look too, so not too much help.

I have hid in the past, but Little Miss can’t stay quiet too long and they can be persistent. I once waved at them through the window on the door and walked away, took the guy 30 minutes to give up! So any suggestions would be appreciated. I must go for now, the trip is up in the air, and must try to figure out how to get it going again!!! So until next time……

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!

PS…. WOOT!!! I had a triple digit day at WordPress yesterday!!!! I don’t know where they came from but I hope they come back!!!