It is a mood today!

I am in a mood today. What is that you say? I know, me in a mood, it is hard to fathom. You know what they say, “Hell hath no fury…” Well I haven’t been scorned but I have been annoyed and that may well be worse.

I recovered nicely from my little stumble down the steps only to be struck down by whatever the hell has put me down countless times over the last 3 years. Tuesday night, I was walking across the kitchen and BAM! Pains shooting, muscles cramping and legs giving away. I have been suffering every since. Looks like it has plans to stick around for a while. That would be annoyance number 1.

Annoyance number 2 has been in the form of my darling husband. As you know, he has been suffering from headaches and dizziness. I have concern for him, the doctor doesn’t, but I do. The problem is we have been spending a lot of time together. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to spend time with my husband. Spending time with him sick is a completely different thing. I keep hearing, “This has been going on over a month. Doctors just don’t care anymore. It’s time to find out the problem. I can’t take this anymore.” I keep thinking, “Welcome to my effin world, Big Boy! Try doing it for 3+ years!” I say nothing and I haven’t even rolled my eyes. That  is getting harder!

Another thing is his constant need to “show” me how he feels. He has a horrible headache, I know. There is no need to cover your head with a pillow every few minutes. He is dizzy, I get it! There is no need to go into a whole production of standing up, putting his hands out to the side, to balance himself, and then stumbling sideways half way across the room. Because this always ends with me telling him to sit his ass down before he breaks something and me getting him whatever it is that he thinks is so important. *Can you say, usually something utterly important like a cookie!* I get it HEADACHE and DIZZINESS! For crying out loud just ask me to get it in the first place. No furniture damage is required.

And that cringe! OMG!!! Just stop that already. We can not all be silent at all times!  I don’t even hear half of the noises, you swear are going to kill you! Just go to bed already! I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if it is just 6. You apparently need the sleep! And, Yes, I know somehow this is going to come back and bite me in the ass! They will find something horrendous on the MRI and I will feel guilty as hell about getting annoyed. But at this point, if I don’t get some of this shit out, my head is going to explode and somebody besides me will be cleaning up the mess.

Annoyance number 3 goes to Little Miss. For two weeks, she has been doing a count down until her dental appointment. Every day, I hear, “Only X number of days until I go to the dentist.” It has actually included a little happy dance. “I get TOYS!”, she says. Yes, those silly balls that bounce all over the place (and threaten to break things), costume jewelry, tattoos, etc…. We get there to find out, SURPRISE the insurance company no longer pays for Goofy Gas or the numbing gel. So  44 bucks to get her “toys”.

Ah, but that is not all of it. No, I forgot that she was getting out at noon for parent/teacher conference day. Completely slipped my mind. Then all at once it hit me like a ton of bricks, SHIT, no more peace and quiet for me. SO I had to haul my achy, pain filled body to the end of the driveway to get her. Only I have no clue what time the bus will arrive. Normally they get out at 2:50 and she is home at 3:15. But she is getting out at 12, does this mean class lets out at 12 or the buses leave at 12? Since it is some sort of sin for her little feet to touch the driveway for more than just a few steps to the car, I must be sure to be there with time to spare. (I am sure it is in the Bible somewhere, I just haven’t found it yet. It has to be somewhere around the Top Ten Thou shall nots… It is punishable not by plagues of  locust or frogs and I hear boils would be a blessing. No, this is punishment straight from the 9 year old with the attitude. An attitude that is promptly followed by tsking from her father. And you know I just want to pop their heads like huge zits when they gang up like that.) So instead of going to jail for my disobedience, I get to the end of the drive by 12:05 or so, not expecting the bus before 12:30…..You know I don’t want to be greeted by Little Miss’ attitude. It was a good thing I got down there so early, the bus pulled up at 12:15.

And what was Little Miss holding so close to her beating heart? Her first ever boyfriend gift! Uh, yes she has a boyfriend and he is giving her gifts….

Yes, Dad is a happy soul. There was talk of a shot gun blast, holes in the bear, returning it to said little boy to show him what happened to little boys who dare give his daughter gifts. Yes, he was one happy soul, indeed this could be annoyance next.

I have more annoyances, small ones…..but ever present ones….MIL, dogs, cats, dirty clothes, dusty furniture….you know the normal things. And then there is the gas thing!

My car only goes to the end of the driveway and back twice a day, 5 days a week. Since it has been acting up, that is the extent of my trust. So a couple of gallons of gas will last a while. The only problem is it won’t last FOREVER! Especially when it runs for 10-15 minutes every morning before moving to get the frost off of the windows (No, I don’t want to scrape them, thank you very much!) and  5-10 minutes spent waiting for the bus to arrive twice a day. For a week I have been telling hubby to, “Please bring some gas home and put it in my car.” And, “The check gauges light is on. That means I have less than a gallon of gas left.” Does my dearest  husband hear me? Well, hell no. He can hear a pin drop from 3 rooms away, but he can’t hear me speaking! SO everyday, I wonder if this is going to be the day I run out of gas before getting back to the house. I expect it to die in the middle of the drive when it is raining cats and dogs!

Add to the annoyance this little aggravation….Even though I have very few parts of my body that is not wracked with pain, I am still the one doing for everyone. Little Miss, hubby, the animals….. I am doing the cooking, the cleaning, everything I always do and get this……….If I cringe or complain, they ROLL their eyes at me and grumble! Yes, I want to pop those heads like zits!

WHOO, now that the contents of my head aren’t going to be spilling out on the floor anytime soon, since I unloaded a ton of crap right here. (That’s right, my head is full of crap) I shall go now and suffer in silence (damn doctor and not giving anything for pain that actually helps! I guess I will go and eat Tylenol). Until next time…………

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Violence UnSilenced

You may have noticed a new button right over there <—- on BlogSpot. If you haven’t here it is…..

This is such a wonderful site. Maggie Dammit is the great mind behind it. She has opened this site up for Domestic Abuse Survivors so that they can tell their story. She has got it all up and running and the numbers are so encouraging. As of 2-17-09, after only 24 hours, she had 2,250 hits and 106 comments. You can go here and see all of the numbers. It truly is amazing.

Domestic Violence happens so much more than you might think. It boggles the mind that every 9 seconds someone somewhere is suffering at the hands of a loved one. Get all of the scoop as to why Maggie Dammit started it, right here. I encourage everyone to go, read the stories (3 the first week and then 1 a week after that), stop and think about how lucky they are to have a place to open their wounds and tell their story.

Unfortunately, most people’s lives have been touched by domestic violence, be it emotional, physical or sexual. Whether it is your own life, your parents, siblings, extended family, friends, neighbors or acquaintances. I have been touched by it, family members suffered at the hands of their loved ones, friends who swore me to secrecy. As a child, I witnessed emotional abuse by relative’s parents, physical abuse between husbands and wives (it does go both ways). As a young married woman, I witnessed abuse of friends by friends. I felt so helpless, always wishing I could do something, but never knowing what to do.

As I sat and read these stories, I cried with them and for them, I sat in awe of their bravery. The stories that have been told, the stories left to be told are an inspiration. I hope to hear stories of those this site helped. The stories of the victims who saw they were not alone, who gained the courage to get away. That would be amazing.

I encourage you to go and read the stories of these brave women and man. I encourage you to tell Maggie what a wonderful idea this is and how wonderful she is for providing this site. I encourage you to grab a button, post it on your site so that others can see it and be touched by this site. Stumble it, DIGG it, Kirtsy it, tweet it, Plurk it, do what ever it is that you Internetz do to get the word out. Until next time……….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!

I can’t think of a good title so please do it for me

Maybe……”Pass the Xanax….Please”  Hubby got a summons for jury duty. It has me a bit worried. No, I don’t think they will sequester him or that anyone will blow up the courthouse while he is there or even that he will get on a case where the guy is found guilty and swears to kill all the jury (That would be the case I would get.). NO, nothing like that. I am worried that my summons is not far behind. You see, I don’t drive in town, well, it isn’t that I can’t, but rather there is not enough Xanax in the world to keep me from suffering a panic attack and crashing if they make me drive to town. Don’t get me wrong, I am not that bad a driver. I have never had a wreck *knock wood* (OK, there have been a few close calls, but really only about half of them would have been my fault.) and I have never gotten a ticket *knock wood* ( I have only been pulled over that one time) But I was 26 years old before I got my license and driving makes me nervous.

When I was 16, I was 8 months pregnant and the state called this a temporary physical disability and they just couldn’t risk the test. I can only assume they feared a woman would go into labor at the mere thought of taking a test. Or maybe they feared that if your water broke, the instructor would give you an automatic fail. Hey, I personally think that if you shoot a baby out in to the floorboard without crashing, it should be an automatic PASS! Whatever, I couldn’t take my driver’s test and that really didn’t matter because I didn’t have my permit either.

My question is, “Why did I need my license anyway”? If I had a boyfriend (pre- hubby), I had a ride because I dated older. I had friends that drove and if all else failed, I had MOM! Besides I lived in the country and it as a safer time then, so if it was close enough, I could always walk. There was benefits to not driving….I didn’t have to get a car and make payments, I didn’t have to get a job and pay for gas. My lunch money went to cigarettes and the extra 15 cents a day I had, wasn’t going to get much gas, even with gas at less than a dollar a gallon.

I only got my license because hubby insisted. With both boys in school and him working, what if one of them needed checked out of school and my mom wasn’t home and his mom was never at home. So I went to get my permit, so that I could practice driving and pass the damn test. I swear to you, I went in to take my written test and the lady asked if I just wanted to take my driver’s test. I told her I would like to practice driving before scaring the hell out of the instructor guy. She laughed at me, she swore I had been driving for years at my age. Well, that would have been illegal, I wouldn’t do such. In reality I had drove maybe 6 times and scared hubby so bad, he wasn’t willing to ride with me. But anyway, I got my license in a few months and I passed by a few points. I think all I really had to do was not kill the guy in a crash. He made a point of telling me I was old enough to be nervous and he would overlook some of my mistakes.

And in the how ever many years that I have been driving, I generally keep it right here in the country. School is like 7 miles away and mom is even closer than that and the corner store is like 2 miles away. What more do I need? I have drove in the “small city” close by, I know how to avoid crossing over in front of oncoming traffic. I can hit the back roads to get to Hel-Mart and I have traffic lights to get me to Kroger’s. And with all the parking lots I can cross over, I can get around town without much trouble. I don’t do it unless it is an emergency, you know, out of groceries and hubby refuses to go. Or the dire need of something from Hel-Mart.

I drove in the “big city” a few times and I was a nervous wreck. I had to take hubby to the ER, by the time I got him there, I needed the ER. And the few other times that I had to drive, I have never drove on my own. I don’t pay attention and I just can’t seem to find my way anywhere. Hell, I have hubby, The Boy, my mom and dad, why should I scare other drivers and make myself a nervous wreck? I am really a homebody any way so it doesn’t really bother me. I can do it in an emergency but it really has to be an emergency!

So do you think if they call me in for jury duty, that I can beg off because my doctor won’t give me enough nerve medicine to get me through driving? Or would they send out the cops to drive me everyday? And if they won’t let me out of it and they won’t come get me, would a letter from the ER doctor that treats me for my injuries, from the crash I will have, be sufficient or will I have to be hospitalized? You think I kidding? The time I drove hubby to the ER, I didn’t have to cross traffic to get him there, I was shaking by the time I got there and hubby had damn near ripped the arm rest off the door. On the trip home, I either had to cross traffic or find a back way out of there. I beat the hell out of hubby, keeping him awake to guide me out of that damn hell hole. I was shaking so bad, the car hopped down the road. Saved gas, but damn, it was a rough ride for the dude, with the hurt back, in the passenger seat. They really didn’t give him enough pain meds to get us both through that ride. heh!!

So here’s hoping that they skip over my name for a few years. Or until I can at least think of a good excuse to get out of it. Until next time………..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m Back

Did you miss me? Well, there is much to say about this long weekend, so I will just dive in to it…..

Wednesday……. I took a little tumble, well actually more of a little stumble, down the steps. I do believe that had there been a camera on me, I would be a future millionaire on AFV. I am fairly certain it was HILARIOUS! As I was stepping off of the top step, my knee gave way. In an attempt to keep from falling flat on my face or ass, I grabbed at the railing, in the process of grabbing said railing I twisted my arm and back. Sweet, right? Oh, I was not finished just yet. Because I knew my leg needed to be straight to be able to stand, I straightened my leg, but it not only straightened it went stick stiff. Causing me to land full weight on my stiff leg. And Good Lord Almighty, that hurt. But I let it go and got in the car and went to the end of the driveway to get Little Miss. When I got back to the house, I hobbled in and didn’t say a word about it. Proud? I was. I positioned myself on the couch with a pillow behind my back, a pillow under my knee and a pillow under my arm. I hoped this would heal me in the thirty minutes it would take hubby to get home from work. I didn’t mention it to hubby. You see, I am psychic and I knew it would just result in him rolling his eyes and asking which dog was responsible. I managed to hide it until I had to get up and cook supper. It was at this point that I realized that I had not been healed. Oh, NO, I could barely move my arm, my back flew into a spasm that went from my neck to my ass, and the mere thought of putting weight on my leg made me nauseous. But cook supper I did. Painfully, but I did it. Remember, I said I was physic? The minute hubby noticed my pain, he rolled his eyes and asked what was wrong now. I told him I was fine, I had just stumbled down the steps. He asked which dog drug me down the steps. See PSYCHIC! So how did my darling, sweetheart of a hubby react to my pain? He found a hundred and one reason to have me up and down all night. Ain’t he a DARLING?

Thursday…..Went to the doctor with hubby again. And again it was a complete waste of time. Hubby went with headaches for more than a year, worsening over the last month and to accompany them, was dizziness. So doc grabs hold of dizziness and runs with it. He says it could be a build up of calcium  on something in his inner ear, whatever the thing in there that deals with balance is called. He gives him a prescription for dizziness. We asked if that could be causing the headaches. The answer, Well, no, not normally. You have headaches too? WTF???!?!?!?!!!!

The MAIN reason for the visit is the HEADACHES! So doc wants to get an MRI, but first he must get approval from the insurance company. Between me and hubby we have had 6-7 MRIs in the last 3 years, always a good reason and never have we had a problem getting it approved. They said they would get it approved and call us with an appointment time. Did we get a call? NO! It has never took more than a few hours to get approval and an appointment anywhere else. Doc’s office staff sucks and they forget things. UGH!

The rest of Thursday was spent being lazy slugs and watching TV.

Friday……Hubby took a day of vacation because he had a horrible headache and was stumbling around like a drunk. We both hoped the doc’s office would call with that MRI appointment, um NO. So we took off the the grocery store to get a few things and get his prescriptions filled. Then we headed off to Hel-Mart for a few things we had to have. We spent all of our money and still have nothing in the house to eat, story of our life and many others I am sure. Came home and turned into slugs…..Hubby’s head was pounding and of course I just sat and was quiet. What choice did I have?

Little Miss spent the night with Grandma. Date night was a bust. Hubby went to help a friend work on a truck and my dad brought news that my money hungry cousin had convinced my granddaddy to let her move in with him! So the night was filled with me throwing a hissy every time it crossed my mind. And I must say it crossed my mind a few million times!

Saturday……Hubby helped his friend again, took pretty much all day, so I spent my time on the computer. I was lazy all day. Mom brought Little Miss home and she had about 2 inches less hair than she had when she left!!!!!

 

 

(Before, Good Gravy she is not happy that I want to take a picture and after)

I managed to RUIN supper! Well, not all of it, but half of it. I baked chicken, hard to screw that up. Lawry’s Salt, salt and pepper….stick it in the oven and cook it. Easy, Peasy, I didn’t screw it up. Green Peas, put them in water and boil them, didn’t screw that up either. I made Hash Browns, I have made them before and not screwed them up, NOT THIS TIME! I peeled the potatoes, shredded them, and put them in a little oil to fry those suckers up. The only brown part of those potatoes was stuck to the bottom of the skillet and a good share of them were BLACK! I made broccoli and cheese, yep, screwed that up too. I cooked them, I put in the cheese, butter and a little milk to make the cheese creamy. The cheese REFUSED to melt up nicely! I made a mess of supper. It was eaten but no one was happy about having to eat it.

And that brings us to Sunday………..Hubby and I took down the old shelving in the shop. They were bent and really didn’t want to hold up my tubs of stuff. We sorted through my stuff and made sure all was still in good shape and then we turned our attention to Easy E and Wifey’s stuff they have stored out there. A good chunk of it was ruined. Mold, mildew and chewed on by mice. EEWWWW! The cardboard boxes, this stuff was packed in, had turned to powder on the bottom. We went and bought a couple of tubs to transfer as much as we could in to. We managed to get through it all without running into anything to embarrass us or them. heh! They close on their house Wednesday, so maybe they can get it before too much more ruins.

We put up new shelving, well, new to us. Boss Man gave it to us, I have no clue where he got it, but I am happy! It is a lot sturdier and it is a bit bigger. Nine foot long instead of the six foot long that I had. WOOT, more storage space! I can get more stuff now. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! More or less that was the whole day. Well all three dogs got baths and had flea stuff put on them. Not the GOOD stuff but more of a I hope this helps the flea problem some anyway type of thing. We have got to get rid of the damn fleas! They are about to tote us off and take over the house.

That was a long weekend! Now that you are cross eyed from so much reading I have accomplished my goal and I will go now and get my washing and cleaning done. Until next time……………

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Internetz have spoken…………

And after copping much 9 year old attitude……TA-DA……Little Miss says she wants to get her split ends cut off. Son of a Bitch, what have I been trying to get her to do since, oh, before school started! Whatever….I didn’t push it because I really wanted to avoid that massive hissy fit that my demon spawn darling daughter would have thrown. Bangs are still in the discussion phase. I say bangs just above the eye or cheek, she says NO WAY, maybe at her jaw but no shorter. I say frame your face by trimming it at an angle from her bangs, she looks at me like I sprouted feathers out of my ass. I will keep you updated and will post pictures if we ever agree on an actual cut or who is doing it.

I just wish I could find someone, hell, anyone who would cut my hair. Apparently they see me as a hideous hag whose face must be covered up. At this point, I have hair that looks like it hasn’t been brushed. Not that cute, I paid a ton of money so my hair could look like this that the stars pay for, but rather…..”OMG! Do you not own a brush.” hair. Not a good look.

I have longish hair now, just past my shoulders. I like long hair, if I decide I want to try to do something with it. The thing is I never try to do anything with it. The options are endless…..ponytail, barrettes, head bands, braided…….My option here lately is….in my face or pushed back behind my ears. My bangs are past my chins, yes, as in multiple. My hair isn’t thick but each strand is thick and it makes my hair heavy and when my hair is heavy it just lays flat on my head and looks chitty.

It is mainly one length, I asked for layers at my last haircut, I got them on the bottom inch, maybe. I wanted bangs, I have had bangs all of my life. I like bangs, it is the only way to keep my hair out of my eyes. The last few haircuts, I have walked out with a WTH kind of look on my face. The nice people who have cut my hair seem to think they have done a great job, I do not. I should go back and say, “Excuse me I came in for a haircut and I would like to have it now.” but I fear the outcome. I know hair grows back but…….my hair grows quite slowly and if they screw it up, I am stuck with it for a while.

I believe the problem lays with the way I say I want it cut…….I would like to keep the length, just a trim to get rid of the split ends. Layers, lots of them. (I really want the illusion of long hair without the trouble of having to tend to it.) Shorter on the sides, but I don’t want to rock the mullet. BANGS!!!! Just below the eyebrow, maybe a bit longer but not too long. I want something easy to tend to, I don’t take the time to drag out the blow dryer, curling iron or anything else, I just want to wash, brush and go…….

What I always end up with is completely different. I usually hear things like, “I know exactly what you need.”, “This cut is perfect for you.”, “Such an easy style, just blow dry with a roll brush, a few spots with the curling iron and hairspray, SIMPLE!”, “I don’t understand the look of long hair?”

I have tried several different places. I had a wonderful girl who cut my hair…She moved to another state! I once had a girl, I happened to go to school with, so she knew me. I could tell her make it look good and she would. She got all high dollar salon on me, I just don’t see a hundred bucks for a haircut. I had another girl, I grew up before her eyes, I would go in and sit down and talk and when I left I was happy. I could even say I want something different and she would do exactly what I wanted. She had a nervous breakdown or something and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of her in years. Those 2 spoiled me, I guess.

We won’t talk about the woman who changed the color of her hair weekly and had damn near a Mohawk. No we won’t talk of going in with halfway down my back hair and saying I am looking for easy….I won’t talk of the inverted V, I had at the nape of my neck. We won’t mention that I cried for weeks! Nor will I speak of what my husband said about it. No we don’t want to speak of that disaster.

Question…….. How do you get the haircut you want? How do you tell them exactly what you want and actually leave with that haircut? I have took pictures with me and showed them THE haircut I want. How do they screw that up?

Maybe when I get Little Miss done, I too can find a soul who can do something with this crap on my head that I call hair…..Is it too much to ask for? Until next time…………..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Proud Momma Moment

I know you have them. Times when you know, without a doubt, that you have been cheated year after year on that Mother of the Year award. Let’s face it, you raised this child who for whatever reason brings a tear to your eye and a “What the Hell” to your mind. (I saw the perfect example on the news this morning…..A Tennessee prison escapee got lost in the woods and called 911 for help. You know his momma is so proud.) Yes, those Proud Momma Moments.

I have had so many over the years, but yesterday as I folded clothes, I felt that tug on my jaw heartstrings and thought to myself, Where the hell did I go wrong I am so proud. I actually have photographic evidence of my proud moment……

But first……What happened to these adorable clothes?

When did he stop wearing shirts like this?

I want these days back…..

(I sooo used these pictures without permission!!!! So I need you to go here and buy a bunch of stuff! If you don’t know her, she is the very talented Rocking Pony. So go and spend tons of cash over there so she doesn’t kill me for using her adorable shirts in this post. Go, GO NOW)(Quick edit here…. I do have permission to use these pictures……Thank You Rocking Pony!!!! See I told you they would be used tastefully.)

Gone are the days of those adorable shirts. This is what I am faced with now……

This shirt isn’t so bad. It glows in the dark. Should scare the hell out of the drunks and freak the druggies the hell out. Could be a great way to keep the druggies away.

Speaking of drunks….Yes, I am sooo proud, he is apparently  moving away  from advertising the beer of choice and moved right on to encouraging the hard stuff. Oh, I have a better one……….

Not only the hard stuff, no, not my darling baby boy, he has this sweet little female pirate gracing his chest. Yes, it gets better……….

Of course, Haulin Ass…..I have raised a Redneck……. Proof positive that I am having a wonderful proud momma moment………..

This wonderful shirt lets the people at the club know that he can be there, but that they can’t serve him anything but Coke. Now… he can get BLITZED out of his mind before he gets there, but once he gets there with this shirt, then his drinking times are over. (yes, a few sweet young thangs added a few things to it. At a party, yes, I am sure there was a  little alcohol involved, yep, SO proud) Yes, I am so proud…….And I must show you the cherry on top of this proud momma moment…………

Yes, some sweet young thang, at this here, ahem, bar thinks my son is a SEXY BEAST. Not to say that he isn’t, because really I have never thought of my son in that way, but I wonder how many dollars it cost him to get her name on his shirt? (her name is on the other shoulder, Miss Chloe I think)

I buy him nice shirts, he just doesn’t wear them. I am beginning to wonder where Little Miss will land on this clothes stuff, this was her choice this morning………..

Yes, it is all about the lip gloss. I will not post pictures of some of the things she chooses to wear around the house, I fear I am losing that battle too.

So how is that for a Proud Momma  Moment? I guess I can’t choose his clothes anymore since he is 19 years old, but does he have to make those his favorites? I will admit he does have a button up shirt, that looks nice and looks nice on him and he will wear it if there are sweet young thangs around.

For those of you still dressing your little man and putting such cute outfits on him…..Your time is coming. For those of you who have those wonderful teenage boys…..I feel for you. Really I do. So what is your proud mommy moment? When did you have that slap in the head that made you go WTF?

Completely off subject, but I am asking for the Internetz opinion. Little Miss’ hair…….She refuses to get a haircut and I think she really needs one. Not a chop it all off type but just get rid of the split ends, which could take a few inches. What do you think?

She would still have a bunch of hair left! It is damn near halfway down her back. I have a closer shot if that would help you agree with me…..

(Look at that, there is about 5 different shades of blond and brown in there….Not a gray in the bunch dammit! I used to have hair like that. Damn kids! ) That is after brushing it, you should see it before. She fears losing her curls, I have tried to tell her they will still be there. I was thinking maybe a few layers…..What do you think? Until next time………..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh what a weekend……….

How was your Valentine’s Day weekend? I hope everyone had a lovely day with your sweetheart. Being Monday, you know what that means, weekend update. I have such an interesting life I know you are all waiting to hear how my weekend went. AH HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So Friday, Little Miss went to Grandma’s to stay the night and hubby and I actually left the house again on date night. Running out of groceries on Thursday night actually works for getting us out of the house, I mean we must eat. We also had to go and pick up my new cholesterol medicine. (Doc actually called in something that was covered, go figure.) So we ran in to McD’s to get a bite to eat. (Wonderful for cholesterol I know, but hey I have the meds now.) Yes, we are adults and child free, but hey it was quick and cheap and we had to eat. I do believe we were the oldest folks in there that didn’t have children with them. Hell we were older than the manager and most, if not all, of the parents. Nothing like being the old farts in a restaurant to make you feel twice as old.

From there we got my medicine and then ran in to Hel-Mart and grabbed a few things we had to have. You know dog food, cat litter, washing stuff……You will note not one thing mentioned about V’day gifts. OK, we picked up Little Miss a couple of shirts and a pack of underwear. Go figure the only thing she requested for V’Day, underwear. HA! I was told she needed them, her other ones were just too small. Did I get new undies for Valentine’s Day? Why hell no, but whatever.

So we spent the rest of the evening in front of the computer and TV. Date night without law enforcement getting involved somehow. WOOT!!

Saturday!!!! Valentine’s Day!!!! I woke up and promptly started barfing! Yes, barfing or hurling or ralphing or vomiting…..How ever you say it I was SICK!!!! It quickly ran in to a flu-ish type thing with the aches, pains and headache. Sweet, SICK for Sweetheart Day. And you know my dear sweet hubby was by my side all day. Wiping sweat from my feverish brow, patting my head and blessing my heart. Just being there for whatever I might need. And By Jingles, if you believe that I have a piece of property in the San Francisco I would like to sell you! He RUN out of the house like his ass was on fire and I didn’t see him again until almost 3 o’clock! That is when I asked him to please go to the store and get me some chicken broth and egg noodles. Mock homemade chicken soup, better than that condensed stuff. He didn’t have a clue what I was asking for. How hard is chicken broth in a can and egg noodles (wide or broad, not picky) in a damn bag. I even told him it was the kind of noodles I use in tuna casserole. He was clueless. It only took him close to an hour to actually leave the house and get it. He got the right stuff, he dropped the bags on the counter and left me again. I am telling you such love was running through this house on the day when love is so prominent! He did send me off to bed early, 10:30 when Little Miss crawled into her bed. I got the bed all to myself! He slept on the couch so as not to bother me. Ahem, I know why he slept on the couch, but I am not complaining.

So Sunday I so hoped to feel better, but it was not to be. The stomach issue was a lot better as long as I didn’t eat or drink, but I couldn’t do that, so I just took it slow. Little Miss and Hubby ran out on me again, I guess I should be grateful for the peace and quiet and I would’ve been had it not been for the dogs. And the utter lack of food in the house. Manwich and tacos not good on the tummy. But I made myself noodles and dealt with it.

Hubby came home from the little trip him and Little Miss went on and guess what……He was sick. Yes, have I ever gotten sick and been able to be sick all by myself? Without someone coming down with something within a day of my sickness? He had a horrible headache and dizziness. He wobbled when he walked and puked when he laid down. So guess who got to tend to Little Miss and him? That’s right. ME! So much for recovering in peace.

MIL made dinner for everyone, she had it planned for a few days, who knew we would be sick. I managed to go over and get us a couple of plates. I got lucky, I got there right before it was all gone. Gave away or thrown out. As I was making plates. MIL was throwing it out or giving it to the others. I finally informed her I hadn’t made my plate and I would actually like a bit of food too. She seemed shocked that I would speak up. I swear she makes the oddest dinners, she puts stuff together that most wouldn’t….Here is the menu from this dinner…………..

Roast with potatoes and carrots

Pork ribs with sauerkraut

mashed potatoes

macaroni and cheese

slaw

hash brown casserole

white beans and cornbread

boiled cabbage

cream corn

green beans

tomatoes

Dessert was chocolate pie and peach cobbler.

Most would choose roast or ribs and kraut, but she goes with both. I will not complain I didn’t have to cook. Hubby ate and went to bed at 6:30. (He slept through til 6am this morning!) I was up til 11:30, I had to wait for Little Miss to shower and get in the bed and go to sleep, shower and track down the cordless phone that The Boy had. The cordless phone’s battery is dying and it last all of  15 minutes off of the charger sometimes. Other times it will last 5 hours. It is all a big conspiracy to drive me insane. Hubby talks for hours with no problem I can get it off the charger and talk 5 minutes and it will die without warning. A conspiracy I tell you….

Well, it is Monday morning and I am trying to crawl out from under this black death and really it doesn’t matter I have shit I have to do regardless of how I feel. We all need clothes and the house looks like a tornado ran through it so I must at least straighten it up again. I hate Mondays! Until next time…………..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!

Growing old gracefully?

By golly, I wish I could say I am. I am not old by any means. I am months away from 40. Which I might add is not old. I have adjusted my thinking, I used to think 30 was old, now I am thinking maybe 130. I have decided getting older is like being a baby again and just an extreme of becoming a teenager. Follow my thoughts here…..

When you are a baby, you have no control of your bodily functions. They just show up without any warning. Uh, hello, if I sneeze, I damn well better cross my legs. And gas? Well I will get to that later.

What baby doesn’t have those cute rolls of fat? Well, mine aren’t cute, but by golly I have ‘em. The only difference? A baby will outgrow their fat rolls, I would have to grow to at least 6 foot to grow into my rolls.

Babies have wonderful *rolling eyes*crying jags. They get cranky. Well, yes, hormonal perimenopausal woman here! Crying one minute, laughing the next, and ripping off heads the next. No, it is not a pretty sight some days. Ever want to know what a screaming banshee looks like, just come visit me on a bad day.

All babies have their paci. I could use an adult paci, I am constantly putting things in my mouth. Which could explain why I have the rolls, for which I will never grow in to.

Now that we have covered the baby stage, let us move on to the teen years…..

ZITS anyone? Good Lord, I have more pimples now than I ever had as a teen! I can only guess it is the hormones having one last blow out. OK, I just got the nastiest picture in my head……blowout…EEEEWWWWW……Sorry.

Suddenly you (girls) have things hanging around on your chest and they can be the most painful things from time to time. Yeppers, my are hanging far lower than when I was a teen. Thank Gawd for the guy who invented underwires and the push up bra! And that might be the cause of the pain…..HUM, never thought of that.

Oh, good Lord, the hair! And in the oddest places. Teens just have it under the arms, and in the unmentionables. Boys do get facial hair. But when you get older, OMG, it just gets weirder. I had a chest hair! That is only for men! WTH? Oh, I took care of it quick, but still…… And if things don’t improve I will have a full beard and mustache! The hair is baby fine but I swear it gets darker everyday! (Must be the Hungarian in me. My grandma had to shave her beard and mustache a couple of times a week.)

OK, I saved the bestworst for last…….Farting. Because really it does involve both stages of life. Cute little baby farts, AAWWW…..The little toots, so cute…..That is until they start getting that sour milk smell or the baby food odor, then not so much. And something about teens makes them think this is the funniest thing in the world. More boys than girls but still HA.LAR.I.OUS.

Might I say it really isn’t so entertaining when you get older. OK, so it is for the family but for me NOT.SO.MUCH. Walk across the kitchen and become musical. Yes, wonderful times. Adjust on the couch and scare the dog. Bend over to pick up a sock and yes, it can get ugly quick. Two true stories…….

A dear woman, I swear it is not me, told me this story………

She had developed a rather odd thing upon bending over, the pressure from bending, apparently causes an escape of gas from her. While in town one glorious day, she bent over to unload her shopping cart and to her surprise she ripped a rather long and loud toot. To say she was embarrassed would be an understatement. To say the man in line in front of her was surprised would also be an understatement. (the look of shock and the slight stumbling backwards were a dead giveaway that he had noticed.) The quiet laughter from the teenage boy, checking them out, said it all. (Quiet laughter is code for the kid was shaking and couldn’t scan groceries for laughing, not to mention the fact he kept having to turn around and look behind him to avoid laughing straight in her face!) She was mortified! Her family was mortified for her. The shock of the whole thing quickly wore off as soon as they made it to the car, that is when her husband and children not so quietly laughed their collective asses off at her. I must say, I laughed my ass off too. Such a sweet southern belle, so polite, so quiet, so sweet and apparently a bit gassy to boot.

This is a true story and it is my true story. The children still remember it and so does hubby. They shall never let me live it down.  Ask them today and they would still roll on the ground laughing. Me, not so much. Just so you know, I have always told them I don’t do such things as tooting. Being a polite southern belle type of lady, I would excuse myself to go out of the room if the need arises. At 5 and 8 years old the boys had never heard their mother do such. The hubby guy, never heard such from me.  Yes, I was raised in the south, by a wonderful woman I never heard toot. Manners, yes, that is it…..good manners.

So here is my story…….I fell down the steps and I thought I had broke my ankle. Hubby got me to the car and we were taking the boys to my mother and then we were heading to the ER. About halfway to mom’s house, I felt the need to empty the contents of my stomach, I told hubby to pull over. As I opened the door and deposited all of the food I had eaten that day on the roadside, I emitted noises from the other end. I must say I have no control over what happens when I am vomiting. (Similar to having a stomach bug and spraying out of both ends at the same time.) My family tried to be good. They tried to not laugh. They really tried…..NOT! The shaking of the car was a dead giveaway and did not help my tummy matters at all. Once done with my deposit, they could not look at me and the car was shaking so bad I wondered if it would come apart.

I tried my best not to point out the obvious. I tried not to let them know exactly how immature they were. I tried not to point out I was in a considerable amount of pain and they were just being mean. I thought they would try to not mention the thing that had happened. I thought WRONG! My darling youngest, waited all of 5 seconds to point out that mom had ripped a bunch of farts and that he had never heard that before from her! And with that the remainder of the car let loose with a stream of laughter that I can still  hear. I must say I was not laughing.

To this day they will occasionally make a vomit noise, followed by a farting noise and start laughing. Yes, the boys are 19 and 23. Yes, they are immature! Yes, it is still embarrassing. And yes, as I age it is more common for me to slip and of course, they do not have to be in the same room and somehow they hear it and the laughter begins. I hate kids! heh!!

I plan (as the wonderful Putz told me once) to not arrive at heaven’s gate in a well preserved body but to skid in sideways shouting holy shit what a ride! (Yes that was also credited to the late great George Carlin) But must I suffer such awful things happening to my body. Is  it just me or are you also finding God has such a great sense of humor? What is happening with your slowly aging body? Come on share…..Tell me your most embarrassing story, I won’t tell a soul…..Promise. Until next time……..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!

Home Alone Again.

Yes this is how I feel! It has been a week and I am ready for it to be over. You know how Monday went……Yeah, it hasn’t been any better since. Tuesday we took Little Miss to the dentist. Since she was schedule for a cleaning and X-rays on the 5th of next month, they decided to go ahead and do it while she was there. You know, save us a trip. I should have said, “No way in hell are you doing that, I have had a crappy week and I can’t take anymore stress!” But no I said, “Sure that would be great!”

They take her back and when they bring her out to us, they want to talk. That is never a good thing. I mean they always talk to me, to tell me how she did and anything I should know about what she can and can’t do, but this time we didn’t stand right in front of the counter, she moved away. Seems Little Miss had 3 tiny cavities that they want to fill before they get bad. Well, that isn’t bad, I can handle that. Then she mentioned the “B” word! Yes, braces. I thought that the insurance company paid for 20%, but upon looking at the new book, I can’t find anything on Orthodontia. So I think that means they don’t pay shit.

She goes at the end of the month and gets a couple of fillings then next month to get another filling and make molds of her teeth and start her Ortho Record. OH, freaking hell. Now the money starts pouring into her mouth. I knew she was going to have to have them, but I had thought I had a few more years. I have yet to mention to hubby that insurance pays squat toward braces, I felt like it was better for him to get smacked in the face with that tidbit of information at the dentist office so I had a few minutes before he exploded in the car.

I did get home and manage to pick up around the house and wash all but 2 loads of clothes. So Tuesday wasn’t a complete bust.

Wednesday, well, that is a different story. I had my doctor’s appointment. I made up my mind that I was asking for my prescription and nothing more. Doc on the other hand, decided he was going to ask me a hundred and one questions. But only after skipping my room 4 million times. Once he finally got in there he came in the room and said, “What the hell is going on here?” I told him I needed my script and I would get out of his way. But he had different ideas. He asked if I was still having chest pains. I told him yes. He asked if they were still daily, I told him pretty much. He asked for how long, I told him 3-4 years. See how this is going? He ask a question I answer it honestly without any extra information.

This went on forever. He asked what meds I needed refilled. I told him and pronounced the damn name wrong. Can I say I have difficulty with the right words at times and that I often mispronounce words. I know what I want to say, but it doesn’t always come out right. He took this opportunity to not only correct my pronunciation but to make fun of me for saying it wrong. Yes, he is a wonderful man. *rolling eyes*

Anyway, he did a quick figuring in his head and decided if I had chest pains like I said, I had something like 6000 since it started. He felt that was a bit high of a number. So I guess I should make the number lower? Maybe I should get out the calculator and do some figures and make sure that when I tell about chest pains that I have a believable number? ASS! The number is what it is, some days I have chest pains once, other days it could be 5-10 times a day. I told him I ignored it, I doubted it was my heart, so I wasn’t worried about it. But he wouldn’t let it go. Something about me tempting the hungry lion. Long history of early heart problems in the family, high cholesterol (though it hasn’t been checked in 5 years, so maybe it isn’t that bad.) and smoking. Not to mention my ever rising weight, the history of diabetes in the family and such. I took a nice chewing out over not taking that damn Lipitor. 45 bucks a month and not know if I need it, I don’t ‘effin think so!

I wish he would make up his damn mind. This is the doctor who was convinced I had chest pains because I was convinced that I had heart problems. I couldn’t convince him that I wasn’t worried about my heart once it checked out fine. Now he seems to be hung up on my “heart” problems. So in an effort to get me to take my cholesterol meds, he told me to find out what meds were covered. I did this. The generic of Zocor, Pravachol, and Mevacor. Crestor is 25 bucks and we already know what Lipitor is. He doesn’t think the generic will lower my cholesterol enough. WTF??? He doesn’t know what my numbers are! I called with the med names and the nurse was going to talk to him and call in a script and then in 4 weeks I am suppose to come in and have my cholesterol checked and see if the meds are working fast enough. Whatever!

There was a bright spot in this crappy appointment…….They screwed up on my prescription! They made it for a 90 day supply and gave me 5 refills on it!!! 15 months of doctor free meds! HA!!!!!! She thought she made it out for a month supply, hehehehehehe!!!! I am doing a happy dance over this.

Hubby went back to work today. He wasn’t feeling good, his leg was hurting and he didn’t want to go back to work. Five days off can do that to you. He claims he didn’t take vacation days, he just took off. He better have taken vacation, we can’t afford for him to just not get paid. I hope he is just attempting to drive me nuts. I should go. I need to pick up around the house and I am feeling a bit crappy. Normal shit. My hands are giving me a fit today, and all of this typing isn’t helping. So until next time…………….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, what a shitty day!

Welcome to my Monday. Yes, it was shitty. Ya know what, the rest of the week isn’t looking any better. So hubby had his doctors appointment this morning. Let’s see how that one went…….

Hubby tells doc he is having bone deep pain in his arms and legs, muscle cramps in his arms and legs, pain in his lower rib cage, dizziness, headaches and well, honestly just feels like shit. So doc is writing and says muscle cramps huh? How long?….

About 8 months are so, I just am tired of it.

Over used those muscles?

No.

How many back surgeries have you had?

4, last one worked like a charm.

No back pain?

Not really, if I over do it or pick up a 100 pound block or something, sure.

So how are these muscle cramps related to your 4 back surgeries?

HUH?

So he tried to tie them to the back surgeries, didn’t work. So he drew blood, CPK and Chem 7. Went to the lab, went to eat and came back. Test results are fine. Gave him extended release muscle relaxers. Hubby asked the nurse about the headaches he has had for 2 years. She didn’t know he didn’t mention that, she put us back in a room. Doc came in said test was fine. Hubby ask about the headaches. He quickly ruled out a tumor because in 2 years it would be really noticeable. (Well, if it were small maybe not) So then he goes on to caffeine, rules it out pretty quick. Moves on to sleep apnea. Hubby snores, he has been know to be jabbed by me to make him exhale. So he decides it is sleep apnea and he needs a sleep study, they will get that set up.

So what is causing the muscle cramps, the leg and arm pains, the dizziness, the rib cage pain? Don’t have a clue! He never mentioned them again and has no plan in place to find out the cause. I love this doctor. *can you hear the sarcasm dripping?*

I ask if he will write my prescription while I am there. Nurse asks how long since I saw the doc. Well, duh, he writes prescriptions for 6 months at a time, I am in need of one, reckon when I last saw him? No, if it has been six months, I will have to get an appointment to get it. (For the record I was not snotty to her, I merely answered 6 months.) So it is going to cost me 30 bucks to walk in tell him to write my damn script and leave. Oh, wait, he will have to gripe and complain because I am going to a different doctor to try and find out what my problem is. Because in his opinion I just worry too much, ie. I am a nut. That is crazy. He never draws blood, he doesn’t check my cholesterol, he writes a script for Liptor, he never checks my liver functions. Really doesn’t matter, I don’t take the Liptor, because I don’t know if I need it any longer. He never does anything. Whatever! The same meds please. My appointment….. Wednesday at 10am. No they couldn’t make it for while I was there, that would be too easy.

So we get home and the phone rings, it is the doc’s office, they have made him an appointment with a pulmonary/ sleep specialist for Thurs at 1:15.  If he decides hubby needs it, he will order the sleep study. No talk of when to get back with doc on the other issues. And I wonder why he never goes to the doctor. He has the same issues I have with them.

I then developed a headache, wonder why? I tried to lay down. I laid down on the couch, hubby went out with Little Miss so I could get a quick nap before dinner. TV is on for the gentle noise. Then there is a loud ass commercial that comes on. Why do they do that? I had the TV set for the perfect volume for the show, then a damn commercial comes on and it is twice as loud as the program! ASSHOLES! So I get up and get the remote, turn the TV down and lay back down. Almost asleep and hubby’s work phone rings, I ignore it. But then it beeps a shrill, cut through to the nerve beep every 3 minutes until you clear it. Get up and do that. Almost asleep and there is a pounding on the front door that shoots me off the couch and 10 foot into the air! It is my FIL, a package was delivered to his mailbox and it isn’t his. Hubby’s motorcycle part, GREAT. I gave up, I am letting the headache eat me  now.

I got up and started supper, Little Miss doesn’t like Manwich so I get hot dogs out of the freezer and I no sooner than put them in the water than she wants to know how much longer because she is starving. SON OF A BITCH, I wish people would just leave me the hell alone sometimes. I told her I would cook them just as fast as I possibly could. So I get her hot dog done and cut up and her ketchup on her plate and her chips and her drink and carry it to her. Yes, I am a good mother and spoil my children rotten. Not really, I just make less of a mess and I  was in no mood to clean up  behind her.

Halfway through supper she comes in and says we have a problem. I am thinking spill, I would be wrong. NOPE, she tells us her spacer broke in half ( quick description…Bracket around her back tooth, wire runs behind her teeth to a bracket on the other back tooth. Just keeps her teeth in line since she lost several teeth too early.) I swear I just paid this damn dentist off  TODAY! I owed him some money for a procedure the insurance wouldn’t pay for, I forgot it. I got a bill on Thursday and I went and paid it today. I also made her an appointment for the 5th of next month for her cleaning and such. I mentioned that one bracket had came loose, they said no problem, they would fix it or it may be time for it to be removed. I hope it is removed, because this is the procedure that the insurance company refused to pay for. Now she has one bracket on and a small piece of wire pointing at her gums, POKING her. Yes, now I get to call and make an emergency appointment to get this fixed. DAMMIT!!!! Guess who has a deductible, guess who hasn’t met that deductible yet this year, guess who hadn’t planned on this expense! That’s right! ME!!!!

So let us recap this day. Don’t have a clue what is going on with hubby (An expense I planned.) An appointment for me. (an expense I hoped I wouldn’t have) Another appointment for hubby. (An expense I didn’t plan on) An appointment for Little Miss. (an expense I didn’t plan on) And oh, did I mention I forgot that Friday was the Valentine’s party at school? So another expense I didn’t plan on. My headache is eating my brain. And hubby will be going to work tomorrow and  I will get to spend time with my father. So he can gripe and complain about what an ass doc is, how useless he is. How it isn’t right for me to have to go in and get my prescription, since I have been on it so long and it is working. Then he can move right on to my health problems and what I am not finding out. So yes, it could be an enjoyable trip. And of course it could last forever because they will probably have to work her in and that will mean waiting. Hubby will end up working on Wednesday which will leave me to deal with doc by myself when he goes on his rampage over my other doctor’s visits. He has 8 days of vacation, I am only asking for 2 of them. He sucks, I know he won’t use them.

Wanna trade days, hell weeks with me? Yes, life is a bowl full of  ’effin cherries! I just wonder sometimes why I seemed to get the pits! Oh, but I said something today to make hubby laugh. We were walking down the hall to the lab and he said something rather dirty and I told him he was bad. He said something about trading him off and I told him I wouldn’t trade him for a bag of tators. AH HA! OK, you had to be there. Little Miss told me tonight, I had potato boobs. Apparently they looked like potatoes but they felt like mashed tators. Yes, she grabbed a boob to find out this tidbit of info. See what I am saying about the pits?????? Until next time………………

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quick Edit……..Hubby did take off! I knew there was a reason I wouldn’t trade him for a bag of tators.