An odd sense….

WARNING…….THIS POST MIGHT HAVE ADVERSE REACTIONS TO THOSE OF YOU WITH WEAK STOMACHS!! EXTREME CAUTION IS ADVISED…..

I have an extra sniffing sense……I hate it too. Last night I was reminded just how bad  it can be. I have always knew it existed, but I never knew that others didn’t share in my *talent*. My sense of smell is very selective….it might barely get a whiff of one thing while other things linger for what seems like days. I may not smell the wet dog laying right next to me, but the same dog passing a bit of gas 2 rooms away damn near every time! I have 2 distinct smells that will always get a reaction from me and will always last several days. When I say lasts for several days I mean that a similar scent will bring it to the forefront and the mere thought of them will always get a reaction.

The first one I noticed very early on…..The smell of blood. My hubby completely denies that I can smell it. Most others claim blood doesn’t really have a scent, or just a very light scent at the very most. But this is a smell I can pick out in milliseconds. I know it very well. I know the reaction very well too. Even my parents say it is the sight of it rather than the smell that causes the woozy feeling. It is the smell. I can sit and watch surgery (actual filmed surgery not that fake shit on TV) all day and never even flinch. The sight of it, has never been a problem. It is the smell and I can smell it at a great distance. I know if the children are coming through the door bleeding.

I will smell it for days once it is in my nose. Old blood on clothes…..UGH….I might as well throw them out. Fresh blood is by far worse, I can handle old, dried blood a bit better. It is a strange sensation, first the smell, a slight tingling in my nose and throat, then the tightening of my chest, the taste in my mouth, lightheadiness follows quickly, as does the heat that rolls up from my stomach to my face, the cold sweats tend to take a few minutes but no less annoying than the rest, lastly the faint feeling and the nausea sweeps over me. I know it takes mere minutes to go through all of it, but it just seems that it takes hours for the full effects to hit. Once I can remove myself from the presence of the blood, it seems to let up. But as I said I can smell it from a great distance so removing myself is a big deal. I have been known to actually leave the yard. And for days afterward, I can smell it, if for some reason I have a flash of a memory, like relaying the story of the injury. And God forbid if I must use the sink that was used to clean up the blood. No amount of mouth breathing can get me through it.

Animal blood doesn’t have the strong effect. It still gets to me, but nowhere near as bad. I guess that is why I can tolerate the dogs in heat and the blood in the kitchen. But it really effects my ability to be a wonderful mom and tend to a child that is bleeding. I can’t hold my breath that long. After hubby’s surgeries and his truck wreck, it nearly killed me. They claimed to have cleaned him up after surgery, I knew different. And the drain tube….There are no words to describe how bad that was. No one else was effected, but I was green. He could not understand why I wanted to dart out of the room, hell, out of the hospital every chance I could. Fresh air really helps.

Last night hubby discovered I have another scent that I have trouble with. As with blood I knew it was there, but I have been able to control this a bit better. The effects are not as strong….It lingers for days also…..And I have an uncanny ability to smell it from across the house and can distinguish animal from people, I can tell you before it happens. Most people have a problem with it, there is no doubt it has a smell. It is vomit. Yes, everyone gags at the smell, the sound and probably the sight of it. I have very close to the same effect to it as I do to blood, just not as strong and there is the gagging added to it.

Hubby and I were in the bedroom yesterday afternoon, he was changing clothes and I was tinkling (necessary info I promise). He got on a coughing jag, I knew, I felt the effects start before he knew that he was going to be sick. He had three choices…..get sick in the floor, get sick in my lap, if I could not get out of the way or get sick in the bathroom sink. Thankfully he chose the latter. Only I was trapped. He was between me and the only exit, blocking my way. I covered my eyes, plugged my ears and tried not to breathe. I thought quickly as to how I could escape without coming in contact with him. I finally decided that if I had to I could shove him out of the way, but I had to get away. I had to leave the house. I stood on the porch for quite a while, waiting for the effects to lessen so that I might be able to function. Hubby thought I was just avoiding him being sick. I was in effect doing just that, but the sound and the sight was not the major problem. The smell had permeated the entire house. Little Miss smelled nothing, I on the other hand could smell nothing else. Even on the porch, it was almost overwhelming. I actually checked my clothes, it was so bad. To say it is a strong reaction would be an understatement. I haven’t ever really reacted so strongly, but it is possible that I have always been able to get away before it actually happened. I guess that is why I have the other sense, the ability to know before it happens, only seconds before, but every second counts. As I type this I can smell it.

Animal puke doesn’t have the same effect, oh, I am normal, it is gross and I gag, but nothing like when it is a person. I can actually smell the difference, even when the dogs diet consists mainly of people food. Do you know how wonderful this is with children? When a stomach bug hits the house? I have been able to almost hide it for 20+ years from hubby. He thought it was just the normal reaction everyone has. I have been able to clean up behind not only the children but him on occasion, when I had no other choice. But it has to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I guess I can hold my breathe longer if I really have to and the invention of Fabreze has got to be one of the greatest things. Penicillin runs well behind it in my mind. As does the computer, TV, and telephone. They can’t hold a candle to Fabreze. Better than an air freshener, which in my opinion only adds another scent to an already overloaded nose. Fabreze does take some of the smell away. It is still there but with a much lessened effect.

Why bring this up? Because this morning before my brain registered that I was truly awake, I washed my face and hands in that sink. And as always the scent wafted up to my nose. Talk about a rude awakening. And I am currently in full effects mode. It was so bad, I bit my tongue completely on accident. I bit so hard that I brought blood. I have rinsed my mouth, brushed my teeth, drank coffee, smoked, everything I can think of. I have checked numerous times, the blood is gone, but the smell, taste and effects are lingering. The combination of vomit and blood smells are going to be the death of me. I have never had to have them at the same time, lucky me. But today, OMG, both are hitting me, in a big way. It is one hell of a strange reaction. These two taste and smells should never be experienced at the same time. I am one huge ball of woozy. Does anyone have this same *talent*? I really think it is more of a curse, but whatever. I guess this would be why nursing was never really a option for me. But I do find it strange that I would love to go into the forensic field. I am a glutton for punishment or an idiot, you decide. hehe!! Until next time…………..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!

Why is my family behaving?

I am getting so bad to come up empty when I try to think of a post. It used to come so easily, I think my family is catching on and behaving a bit more now. They seem to think before they act, almost censoring themselves so I can’t use it here. heh!! They give me nothing. I get these small tidbits here and there, but nothing I can sink my teeth into so to speak. Nothing to draw out into a decent post.

Just how many times can you describe my demon child? I have told of her many times and many times in vivid detail, complete with her spread out wings, her razor sharp talons and the fangs to rip me to shreds. (God, I wish I could find that post…..It was a very detailed and accurate description of her. heh!)

 And The Boy, though I soooo appreciate it, is not getting into anything very exciting that I would feel comfortable putting out here. He is, without a doubt, all boy. Redneck boy at that. Drinking and fighting do not transcribe well. There is just something about detailing him and his friends waking up in completely different places than they remember being and having to walk back to the vehicle. And then there are the fights……Something I just would rather not think about beyond being thankful that they survived yet another round. Sure they sound right humorous…after  the fact…..and I must admit from the story I get, they do not start them, rather just somehow get involved in. (Hubby got to witness first hand how that happens. Someone starts a little trash talk and somehow they end up defending. It is kinda humorous in a sick way, I keep telling them to stop defending and the fights will stop, but they seem to rather enjoy it. I assume similar to a junkie getting his fix.)

Easy E is a great subject….only I rarely see or speak to him anymore. Since the move, they have kinda just kept to themselves. Emails run back and forth, or rather they did until something blew up at work and the company put an end to personal emails going out. I believe it had something to do with an email that detailed various affairs some which involved supervisors and of course the company could not afford to allow that to continue. Idiots and letting the bosses find out, what were they thinking.

Hubby has had his share of post-worthy episodes but after they happen the first words out of his mouth, now, are…..”This will not end up on your blog.” Damn I really should find a place to guest post, so I could technically keep my word. hehe! He learned much too quickly and it really isn’t fair.  But other than his near constant whining that he has the swine flu and is currently dying a slow and painful death, he is pretty well none post-worthy. ( I swear it is a cold, but try to convince a man of that.)

And me nothing out of the ordinary. Same ole, same ole. Kinda irritating really. About the only exciting thing is I feel pretty good. *waiting for that shoe to drop* And of course, my new found addiction. I managed to retrieve the last two books so that I might peruse them again. My mom can have them back when and if she ever manages to read the first two. My dad has a thing about keeping her busy apparently. heh! No don’t go there, that is my parents and they do not do such! EEEWWWW!!!!

I have been having very vivid dreams though. I don’t remember the exact dreams, I just wake up and think how weird… could be the vampires and werewolves I happen to be reading about a lot…. Or it could be the acid I am apparently dropping to be able to listen to my new favorite music. I did pick up on the first lines to one of  the songs though….I swear I hope I am hearing it all wrong…..Because it would be just too weird for it to be one of my favorites if it says what I am hearing, or it might be worse if I am hearing it wrong and the words fit for me…. hhhuuuummmm. It goes something like… I seek you out…. fillet you alive…one more word and you won’t survive… Kinda creepy. (Any Twilight music people out there, if these are not the words, please enlighten me with the actual words, I really would like to know.)  How this song has become one of my favorites is beyond me, it is rather creepy sounding. It is one of the ones The Boy and his friend claim I would have to be dropping acid to listen to and like. I haven’t garnered the nerve to ask them exactly how they know what kind of music goes best with acid, kinda afraid to ask. heh!!

I really must get an Ipod. I currently have taken over dearest hubby’s MP3 player and it is eating the hell out of batteries. I guess listening to it for many hours a day has a tendency to do that. I am hating wearing only one of the ear thingies though. I swear, they have decided to start talking to me, never before, but now….Every. Time I put in the ear thingies, they suddenly must tell me something. And they actually require my attention so that I may answer them. The only time I can crank up the volume and hear the music in both ears (the way it was intended to be heard, I might add) is during the day and I swear the phone starts ringing off the hook at that point. I think maybe someone is trying to tell me something.

So there you go… my random thoughts. I am getting rather good at these kinds of post. Just random nothingness….. HUMMM….maybe I am on to something. Maybe not. AneeeWay….Until next time…….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!

And I live….

*Sticks head in and watches for flying objects* Sorry, I know I said I was going to do better…..I just get side tracked so easily these days. I am a bit of a scatterbrain recently. Hubby is to blame for Friday’s lack of a post…..Really, I had it all in my head and then he had to work on the truck and couldn’t start early and that really threw my day off, what with having to ride with him to get parts and such….Then of course I am going to blame the family for the mess of the house that kept me away yesterday. And the million and one articles of clothing I had to wash….I am still working on that. But here I am and I am ready to get started…..

I discovered Thursday evening what a BAD kitty mother that I am. Around 6pm I had a thought about how I have not fed Socks in like 2 days and he wasn’t driving me up a wall. No pushy meowing, no rubbing against my face while I was trying to watch TV, no rubbing against my leg and yowling when I was in the kitchen. Weird……I searched the house, I called his name and I got NO response. I looked under beds, dressers, in closets, anywhere he might have fit his fat ass through. I asked the kids when they last saw him. Two days was the response. I asked Hubby when he last got annoyed by the fat cat, he couldn’t remember, 2-3 days….I got worried. He is old (some dispute here on the age, I say 10, the others say 13-14.) I was told to search the house thoroughly, I couldn’t bring myself to do that. What if I found his lifeless body? Worse what if Little Miss did? Hubby kept pointing out the obvious stench that would be in the house if I didn’t find him quickly. I kept insisting that maybe he had just escaped from the house. He has only been in the great outdoors twice, when he wasn’t in a cage, neither time did he like it. Once he wondered onto the front porch, made it all of 5 feet before he was screaming to come back in. The other time, I kicked his ass out. He was clucking at a bird on the porch railing and I decided if he wanted it that bad, he needed to go and get it. He damn near ripped my legs off to get back in.

So I avoided actually looking for him, but I did look for him. Friday, I picked through The Boy’s closet, I bumped the bottom of The Boy’s bed, No Socks. I decided to work outside in that weed pit I call a flower garden. Avoid the inside as much as possible, I know burying my head in the sand won’t help, but let Hubby dearest find him, he doesn’t like him anyway. And that could go either way, they have never liked each other. So all day Friday, I spent weeding one side of my weed pit. I did a little rearranging of all the crap (statues) in it. Do you know how heavy cement is? Damn and those things are big.

Little Miss was home for the night and not happy at all. We, as a family, rode to Hel-Mart. Well, not The Boy, that would be a colossal embarrassment to be seen with his *gasp* family, he would prefer that others think he broke out of a pod or something. I managed to get a few things that we have needed but for some reason kept forgetting to get. Amazing how much shit you can find when your bored and wondering around that place. They really do carry everything. I hate that place. So date night was a major bust.

I got up Saturday, still listening to how I needed to  find the damn cat. I again decided to work in my weed garden, I kinda liked the feel of sand from yesterday. heh! I finally got all of the weeds out of the garden, as I was working on cleaning the breadbox I got from Grandmother’s (it was covered in dirt dobbers nest) and listening to my Acid Music (Or that is what the boys are calling it, they swear I have to be dropping acid to listen to most of the songs from Twilight. I think maybe I could tolerate them better if I was dropping acid, but really that is beside the point.) I heard this awful “NOOOOOOOO” type of yowling. I took off my headphones to be sure that it wasn’t just part of the song I had not heard before. I heard it again, it was coming from under the house. I took a look around and who did I see? Of course the fat ass cat….Well, not such a fat ass anymore, but he was alive and not in danger of stinking up the house in the near future anyway. I was finally able to coax him out after almost an hour. He damn near ripped my stomach open when I got to the porch (No defense my ass! He may not have front claws but I left him his back claws and he was determined to use those against me.) He leaped out of my arms the second I crossed in through the door. I figured he was starving so I put him fresh food down. He yowled and refused food. I put him up on the box with his food, he yowled. He finally ate, but he squalled and bawled all day! I swear it was Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome! All I know is I was ready to throw his ass back under the house and forget that I had found him. (FYI….he FINALLY stopped yowling on Monday afternoon.)

Sunday we were going to get up early and go to the flea market and look around, I was hopeful to find CHEAP flowers, since I had a flower garden instead of a weed garden, but we kinda slept in. Not late but late enough to miss the good dealers. I did however decide that I could move a few of the things I had around and separate some of the things I had. So I spent my Sunday in the garden again. I also went to my mom’s and “stole” a few of her things. She had told me I could get all of the small trees I wanted so I went and got them and have intentions of going back and getting more of her things. With the house moved now, she has a flower garden to dismantle and she claims not to need all of it now. So score, I get the best kinda flowers…..FREE!!!!!

And somehow we managed to get to the grocery store for a change. Kinda nice to have actual food in the house! Of course the kids will just think it is for eating, but…..

I spent my Monday locked in the house cleaning up from the hurricane known as my family. And washing clothes, I swear if they get a little dirty they think they have to change clothes…..*GAH* A little grease all over your clothes? Wear it again, just stay off the furniture. Rode your go cart through the field lines from the septic tank and are covered in…..well…….Who cares, grab a clothes pin for your nose and deal. Fish guts on your clothes? What is a little fish blood between friends? I haven’t a clue why they go through so many clothes. Too many loads to count and after all day of washing, I still have 4 more loads to go! It is a vicious cycle I tell you! I guess I should go and try to finish getting through all of those nasty clothes, the house has a distinct smell that is a mixture of fish, grease and well….never mind. Until next time…………..

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Would it surprise you?

I have mentioned many times that I love my family (probably more than they deserve. heh) They are the core of my very being, the lights of my life, blah, blah, blah. So would it surprise you very much if I said I have times when I would very much love to walk out the door and leave it all behind for a few weeks? Or that I have actually been driving down the road and when I come up on our road, thought, quite seriously, about just continuing on? It doesn’t happen often, but often enough to kinda bother me. I am fairly sure I would come back….I think.

There is usually gripiness involved…theirs…..sometimes mine. Little Miss will pull her crap or Hubby is being an ass, maybe The Boy is misbehaving. Sometimes all three at once. Yesterday was one of those days…..all the planets lined up and I had the urge to bolt. As you, no doubt, figured out I didn’t but the urge was really strong yesterday. And today, still there. I don’t want to leave forever, maybe not even long, but definitely longer than a day. Is it really selfish of me? Believe it or not I feel fine…. no pain, no depression, no anger….just the very strong urge to get away all by my lonesome.

Really yesterday wasn’t so bad that it should have sent me over the edge. Just normal BS, I didn’t even blow a gasket or anything. Little Miss came in with her usual gripey self and aimed right at me…..She wished I wasn’t her mother… She wished we would get a divorce so she could live with her father alone… She wished I wasn’t born….. She was bored…. she wanted a baby raccoon (don’t ask)….. She hated school… She wished that I was a step mom so that she could have a cool mom…… You know the normal, but I have NO clue as to why she suddenly hated me so. Usually I have a bit of a clue, but yesterday, she seemed to just snap…..I totally fear hormones. heh! Hubby is trying to come down with a cold and is just whiny. And The Boy was just The Boy, came in and turned the TV up as I was trying to listen to something on the computer. And watched  a STUPID movie to boot.

This is pretty much yesterday….

Hubby came in early, the truck broke down and he was suppose to fix it, he run by the house to grab a bite to eat. Once he hit the door it was sniffle, cough, whine, sniffle, whine, cough, whine.  Until he left with a grunt about not wanting to work on the truck.

I was listening to the Twilight Soundtrack (I didn’t think I really liked any of the music until about the 5th time of watching and suddenly discovered I liked some of the music enough to want to listen to it.) Any Way…..Little Miss came in with her gripey ass mood and continuously told me she did not like my choice of music. I ignored her. The Boy came in and also was not impressed with the choice of music I was listening to (like I haven’t had to listen to his shit a million and one times, even though it doesn’t run in my taste of music, but WHATEVER!) so he turns up the TV so that he might hear the dumb ass movie that was on. I decided I needed to get out for a few before I trashed the TV and possibly the children and so I grabbed my CD,  the Twilight book (I swear I have read it a hundred times, I loaned out the series to my mom, God I want them back, I want to read the other ones again) and the keys to my car. I got in the car to listen to the CD and read in peace. Then the feeling hit me……I had my car, my keys and half a tank of gas….. Would they notice if I cranked the car and just drove away? Where exactly could I go that they wouldn’t be able to find me? How long before they contacted the police and I was forced to come back home?

It was a strong urge, stronger than ever. As I sat there contemplating my options, The Boy came out and informed me he would be needing my car again (the transmission in his Blazer went out on the way to Rod Run, so he is on foot without my car.) Not asking me, telling me he was going bow fishing, and required my car to get there. The urge really kicked up a notch, how dare  he INFORM me he was taking my car, this wasn’t a required trip, just a desired one. I did however remove my ass from the car, only because I knew if I remained there, I would throw it in gear and leave.

I don’t think the desire is from wanting to leave my family behind, more of the desire to get away and be able to do what I want, when I want, without the smart ass comments, or being stopped somehow. Like yesterday morning, I was home alone, there was nothing on TV and I put in Twilight (I know it is really becoming an obsession. heh!) and The Boy walked in and asked how many times I was going to watch the movie. I asked him how many times he had watched Never Back Down. He said he was sure that some sort of hot rod show was on. Like I wanted to watch one…. I didn’t turn over the TV, never had the intention to actually, but it would have been nice for him to walk away and let me watch it in peace. It was a running commentary  to his friend on the couple of scenes he liked well enough and how interesting it would be to play ball like them, and how it wasn’t really a vampire movie more of a romance movie and that he just didn’t want to watch it. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…..And then the afternoon hit hard and the urge was almost too much.

Maybe it is wanting undisturbed “me time”. When I know I will be alone, to do what I want, for a certain amount of time. Or maybe my family is just driving me crazy. Maybe I am just losing it after all these years. heh! Am I alone in this? Like I said I am fairly certain I would return. I am easily bored by myself, but I do relish the idea of  being by myself, for a little while anyway. When I “say” it out loud it sounds so selfish. I know there are others who are single moms (or dads) and such that have absolutely no help whatsoever but I guess I am a selfish creature, to some extent anyway. I know the feeling will pass, it always does, but it seems to come back more frequently than it used to. Please tell me others feel like this too, that I am not completely selfish. Oh, well, this too shall pass…Until next time…….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit…..As I wrote this and proofread it, I fielded 5 calls from hubby, a call from Red and 3 nature calls from Rowdy. See I never get to do anything uninterrupted.

I want a BowFlex body…..

You’ve seen these on TV. You know some, somewhat, pudgy person uses it and in 2 months they have rock hard abs and not an ounce of fat to be found. Even grandmas can look like they have never had a child. Hubby made the comment we needed a Bow Flex so WE could get into shape. AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I look at all of those nice little bands and wonder exactly how long it would take me to get wound up in those bands and die. At the very least I would expect for them to break and slap me around a bit. To say I am an accident magnet would be an understatement. I can almost see me pulling one of those bands to set the weight and it coming loose and slapping me silly.

Though I would love to have one, I really can’t see spending the money for a fancy clothes holder. Because you know that is what happens to exercise equipment or at least it is what happens around here. I use it for a few days and then I throw a pair of pants on it and the next thing you know the damn thing is covered in dust and clothes. Doesn’t do a whole lot of good if you don’t use it. They claim it is so easy that you will effortlessly lose weight and you will keep using it. Just a few months and you will look so good that you will want to keep it up. Yeah right! I figure you would be so sore after the first day, if you could move, you would only use your mouth to cuss the damn thing out. Or maybe that would be the only part of you that you would be able to use. HA!

I don’t do well with exercise, I swear my body rejects the idea completely. Every time I start an exercise program, I throw out my back or sprain an ankle, something, anything. My body would rather be in major pain than to do a few exercises. I hear walking is a great exercise, I really think that I could pull that one off. My body wouldn’t even know it was doing it, it would just assume that I was trying to get somewhere. heh! Of course with the dogs on the road, an attack could put that idea in the wind. I used to own a bicycle, actually rode it. Hubby dearest gave it away because….1…. I never rode it anymore….2……..he was just waiting for the injury he was sure was coming…….and 3…..if I rode I wanted him to ride with me. So no more bike.

I have tried yoga. AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That would have been HI LAR I OUS!!!!! Only I was so sore, I couldn’t move.  Some of the moves they expect a person to do……..AH HAHAHAHAHA! Something on the lines of  put your foot behind your head and breath. AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Or at least that might as well be what they said, what they said wasn’t much easier for me. There is a reason those yoga instructors all look like a twig.

I tried Pilate’s. Not quite as difficult as yoga, but still AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Another one that kicked my ass. Maybe it has something to do with all the giggling I do as I am trying to do the exercises. The positions they require you to put your body in…..My body refuses to go into them.

I did Richard Simmons Sweating to the Oldies,I figured if those larger women could do it, I could do it. I have a secret…….Those women are waaaayyyy more flexible and energetic than I will ever be! I did it with my mom, we laughed off more calories that we sweated off. But we had fun.

So for now it looks like I will be watching what I eat and moving around more. And drinking water UGH. I hate water, I thought about flavoring it, but I really don’t like the sounds of the flavors…what do they have…..jock sweat…sewer water….swamp water….or at least that might as well be the names.

Well, I am off to waste away another day doing not much of anything. Maybe I will watch Twilight again *swoon* perhaps getting my heart going will accomplish something. *The guy gets cuter with every viewing…those eyes, that smile* Until next time………

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a weekend

I have had a few long weekends here lately. Seems like the weekend update is now showing up on Tuesday. I have a lot to post so I guess I should get started.

Thursday night at about 8pm, it was decided after a month of…”I am going. I’m not going.” Hubby dearest decided that he was going to Pigeon Forge for the Rod Run. He had decided a month or so ago to go but he has been running back and forth on whether or not he would go after he found out I had no major interest in going. Really why would I want to get trapped out of state with The Boy and his hell raising buddies? And to share the room with them? I may be crazy but I am not insane. 

I thought it really seemed to be more of a guy’s weekend than a romantic weekend. I don’t really have an interest in walking around looking at cars so I felt like hubby couldn’t enjoy it for trying to entertain me. Besides, the way I am I might be fine then suddenly be unable to walk around with out major pain and I didn’t want him to have to stay in the hotel and take care of me. But in the end since he had already put out the money for the hotel, he decided he would go. Little Miss and I packed up and went to spend the weekend with Mom and Dad.

I don’t have much from hubby’s weekend will the exception of… he has decided he would never go off with them again. heh! Apparently there was a little alcohol, a fight and they are PIGS. He called several times a day wanting to come home. I told him he just missed me. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! But to be quite honest, I was enjoying myself and wasn’t ready for the weekend to end. So what you get today is MY weekend.

We got to Mom’s late and dad was already in the bed and of course Little Miss’ bedtime was fast approaching, so we really just kinda sat and took showers.

Me and mom just more or less sat and talked once Little Miss got off to school. I took Twilight with me and even though I had told Little Miss that we would watch it Friday night with her, me and mom sat down and watched it. It was funny to watch it with her. She didn’t have a big interest in watching it, but once it was on, she never really looked away. She jumped at several spots and it was funny. It truly isn’t a scary movie, but I guess there was unexpected scenes and having never read the book she really didn’t know what was coming at all. heh! We decided we wouldn’t lie to Little Miss but we wouldn’t tell her that we had already watched it. I swear she was like a dog with a bone and kept on questioning us until we finally had to admit that we had already watched it. We figured out how to answer her without admitting anything, then we got the final question of…..”Did you watch Twilight today?” No way around that one. But we watched it again and mom jumped at all the same spots. heh!

Have I mentioned my mom fixes 3 meals everyday? Well, she does and she expects you to eat every time. I think I gained somewhere like 190 pounds. Mom is a good cook and I just can’t resist. I am just not strong enough. She asks and I say give me…..

Saturday was a bit of a day. After watching Twilight twice Friday, I had decided I really like the hair cut that “Alice Cullen” sported.

(Awful picture, but the best I could find.) I mean really liked it, some what obsessed liked it. I wondered if I could get away with it. Mom thought I could, I thought I could, so I convinced Mom we really needed to head out and find me a place that would cut my hair. After searching and finding a picture and printing it out to show the stylist what I wanted, we headed out. I walked in with hair just past my shoulders (about 2 inches past), all one length and bangs that I could hold in my hand and straighten my arm out above my head and not pull it at all (that is LONG bangs). I do not have a before picture, I hated the way I looked. It really made me look older and my face kinda got lost behind it. I walked out of there with this hair cut….

Kinda close to what I asked for. Close enough. Please ignore the face. Ignore the double (triple) chin. Just look at the hair cut. Not the best picture, but it is rather hard to get a decent picture when you are doing it yourself. (Putz, do you see it? I finally posted the picture you have been asking for. Happy?) You really can’t tell it in the picture but….After getting my hair cut and LOVING it,  decided that I really wanted to do something about the gray hair that was sticking out like a sore thumb. So I decided that I must color my hair. I went from a very mousy dark brown to a very cute light brown. (I know the picture is a bit dark and it makes it hard to make out the color.) I was and am very happy with it.

I mentioned nothing of my plans to hubby (even though I was at the salon when I talked to him once.) I decided since he really prefers long hair that I wouldn’t say one word and see if he noticed it when he got home. (He is another one that is like a Pit Bull with a leg, he just kept asking questions, I was able to avoid an answer and didn’t lie either, I am getting rather talented at this.)

I kinda worried after the cut, though I absolutely loved my new  ‘do, hubby does really like long hair and can be such an ass with his comments the few times I have went with a shorter cut. He is never mean about it, but you can tell by the, “It will grow back out.” comments that he isn’t happy. ( but he always says, “It is your hair, cut it if you want to.”) But after all of these years I thought to myself….”Self, make yourself happy for a change. Do something for you, not Hubby or the kids. Enjoy this and don’t worry about whether or not he is going to like it as long as you like it.” And I did. I liked it, I constantly played with it, I often looked in the mirror to see how it looked. I never looked in the mirror before, I didn’t care for what was looking back, so I avoided it.

When hubby got home late Sunday, the first words out of his mouth were, “Did you get a haircut?” So he noticed it, there was never a doubt in my mind that he would, it was drastically different. I couldn’t read his face. I usually can, but for some reason his face never changed. So I couldn’t tell how he felt about it. He was tired and ready to go to bed shortly after getting home so I had no clue if he was pouting or really just tired. To boot he was trying to come down with a small cold. Sore throat and such.

I got up on Monday, with such major plans. Somehow the house had been trashed while no one was home. I had enough washing and cleaning to do to keep me busy for the entire day. Then the phone rang. Little Miss had a dental appointment I had completely forgot about, so my day was cut very short. I decided to shower and fix my hair. I even put on a little makeup. When hubby saw me all he could say was…..”I can’t get over how good you look.” I guess he actually likes the haircut. All evening I kept catching him looking at me. It has been years since he has done that. *BLUSHING* I have decided I want to lose that weight I have put on the last….oh…..20 years. Honestly want to lose it, not that normal, “I am going to lose this weight.”, but rather, “I want to lose the weight.” I figure about 40 pounds, should get me to before babies weight, but I will jump for joy if I can get 30 pounds off. ( Hell I will be happy with 20 pounds.) I haven’t figured out how I am going to do it, but I am determined this time. It is amazing what will happen when you like the way you look.

Well, that gets my weekend more or less. I didn’t finish my work yesterday and I must get it done. So until next time….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!

Haven’t a clue really

No truer words have ever been spoken. I haven’t a clue what to post about. Ever had that happen? I hesitate to call it writer’s block because that would imply that I thought I was a writer. And I would never consider myself a writer because to be a writer, I would think that this crap would have to be good and really it isn’t War and Peace. So as usual when I haven’t a thing to say but many snippets of things floating around,  I will throw out my random thoughts and hope for the best.

As you know I had plans to clean Little Miss’ room. I accomplished that in what would have to be record time. I Swanee energy is a great thing. *Somebody should bottle that stuff. UH, wait, I think somebody already has. Never mind.* It wasn’t the best cleaning of all time but I was distracted quite a bit. My mind just wouldn’t focus in on the task at hand, it kept wondering off and as small as it is I had to be worried about it. heh! It would wonder here, there and everywhere. Wondered what the dog was doing. Wondered if the clothes were done (But never wondered off to the 3 loads of shit I needed to fold and put away.). Wondered if I would ever actually find the smell in the room. Then it wondered if I would get done with time to sit down and watch Twilight in peace. That little trip actually pushed me to get done. Record time I am telling you.

I did manage to get done with plenty of time to watch Twilight in peace. I really didn’t want to watch it with a group of  children (and I use the term loosely, because most would be between 17 and 21). I knew the boys would giggle at how silly it was or how the fights were dumb. (I didn’t know what the movie would be like, but I know my boys.) Little Miss would  talk through the entire movie, causing me to miss big chunks of it or forcing me to rewind the damn movie a hundred and forty million times so I could catch what I missed. So the best idea I had was to watch it alone. I even put the dogs outside so they couldn’t whine at me for some unknown reason. (I swear I wish I could teach them to talk or do sign language, it would really cut down on the frustration of trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with them.)

I put the movie in and I swear my mind went on a wondering spree again. I wished I had popcorn, you know get the movie experience thing in hand. But I had Peanut M&Ms so I settled in. Then I wondered if I would hate the movie like every other person in the world that had read the book would. Made me wish I hadn’t read the book, but if I hadn’t read the book, I would have had no interest in seeing the movie. Vampire movies just really aren’t my cuppa tea. But then my mind wondered of to whether I would hate it because everyone had or if I would hate it all on my own. Which sent it straight on to if I was going to hate it why the hell was I fixing to spend 2 hours watching it. Don’t you love how my mind works?

So I got annoyed right off the bat because the movie wouldn’t let me go straight to the menu and I had to go through the whole skipping scenes thing to get to the menu to just watch the movie. I hate that, I have never liked watching previews and I hate when they do shit to think you will be forced to watch their advertising of future movies. But finally I got to the part where I could watch the movie and go figure I still had plenty of time. And I sat and watched it, only having to get up twice. Once to let Rowdy out to the bathroom and once to let him back in. (He will not be ignored)

So what did I think of the movie? HUM….. That is a good question. It was very slow to start with and I wondered if it would improve. Once it finally speeded up, I liked it fairly well, but……And this is a HUGE but……did the director bother to read the book? I understand that they don’t follow the books exactly, but really. I mean yes they had to add some things, otherwise they would have had a voice-over constantly because in the book alot of it is her thoughts that explain things. But they moved things around. The first kiss is in the meadow, not her room that night. And the conversations were in the wrong places. I won’t ruin the book or movie for those who haven’t read it or saw the movie, but….They left out so much and added to it.  I think that they could have stuck closer to the book and it would have been better. But all in all I liked the movie. Enough to watch it with Little Miss when she got home from school and I am glad that I did watch it before or I would have missed so much.

But this is my big complaint. I now am going to have to read the book again. I am actually several chapters in to it for the 3rd time. The book is better than the movie, but this time I am looking for the parts in the movie I know aren’t in the book, maybe I missed the hint in the book. And also I am reading Edward’s words, because to be quite honest, they make my heart pitter patter. I had hoped to see if the actor could make me swoon with those words. But he doesn’t  say the best parts of the book! I hoped to see the expressions from the book on Edward’s face, but NO. I do wonder how they picked the actors. The Edward in my head was much better and I had a better picture of Bella too. Though the actor (and I do wish I could remember his name) has the eyes or at least by the 2nd viewing his eyes had my attention. And he does have a great smile. *SWOON!* Bella was a bit unemotional or the actress was anyway. Still believable I guess. But to be perfectly honest I did not see the “inhuman” beauty that the book speaks of. I thought “Alice” was the cutest of the bunch of vampires but she was merely cute, not drop dead gorgeous. But I guess it would be hard to find anyone who was as beautiful as the book describes.

I figure I will get to rewatch it today with The Boy, he has been talking about watching it since I got it and hasn’t had the chance to sit down and watch it yet. Well, I will be dogged I have just wrote a movie review and wasn’t even trying. I have but one more thing I want to say or really ask….How in the hell do you keep a dog from breaking chains? I was sitting here yesterday and my FIL came knocking on the door, he had Miss Daisy, still attached to her chain, with him. Seems she had broke her chain, AGAIN, and was wondering the yard. He thought he should bring her to me before she got into any kind of trouble. She really doesn’t pay attention to passing cars and as such she is a HUGE target. I wonder the damage her small muscular body would do to a car? I can only assume less than would be done to her. She is on a chain that will lift car motors out of the car without breaking, but somehow she just keeps snapping it. We tried airplane cables, she snaps those too. I would think along the line of a fence but she can jump damn near 6 foot in the air from a crouch. And I have seen her climbing anyway, so I doubt a fence would keep her butt in. Any suggestions? I would really like to hear them, I am at my wit’s end with her. Until next time….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!! I am finally back!

Did you miss me???? Well, I missed you! I don’t even know where to start. It has been a long weekend again, but not all of it has been bad! So I guess I start with Friday and move on from there. I have pictures (Sorry Putz, still haven’t found one of me that would not scare small children. heh!) This could get long so go make your coffee, tea, coke, whatever it is you drink, maybe get a snack and of course make your bathroom run!! I will wait….. humhumhumhumhumhum….Back so soon? OK, well let’s get this started……..

Friday is of course date night and we actually left the house again! Nothing major Hel-Mart and out to eat, and a few other shopping stops and such. You know the bunny has to come. Somehow I swear I forget holidays. Anyway….While I was at Hel-Mart looking for the Bunny, I happened across *darts eyes around* Twilight….All four books *still looking around for anyone I owe money to* And I grabbed all four and just for good measure I grabbed the movie too. So I am the proud owner of the Twilight series *how far behind the rest of the world am I?* And the movie to boot. *I still haven’t gotten around to watching the movie, damn kids and not leaving me the hell alone so I can watch it in peace* Yes, hubby wants to make a major purchase. I can feel it in my bones. I showed him the books…he said, “Go ahead and get them. You never spend money.” I showed him the movie and he said, “You deserve it, get it! What else do you want?”  I am afraid of what he will come in with. I swear if it eats and breathes I will KILL him!!!!!

So Saturday was to be a rather lazy day for me. SIL had different ideas. She called and said the girls had everything they wanted at Grandmother M’s and for us to come get what we wanted…..You know kitchen stuff and such.

So I got some kitchen stuff. It was only suppose to take a few minutes to look through the cabinets and get a few bowls and such but I helped to load up boxes and boxes of outdoor Christmas stuff for MIL. While loading up Christmas stuff, we ran across video tapes and the girls said to take them for Little Miss, “Grandmother M loved to give her movies, it made her so happy.” So…..

Huge box of movies…all kinds….old, new, comedies, romance….but that is not all!

I swear not only hundreds of videos, but possibly thousands of VHS Tapes!!!!!! Most of the ones in these three boxes were recorded for her by a niece and that means there are 3 movies per tape. It wasn’t, “Pick a few movies.” It was, “Take one and you take them all!” There are 22 tapes per line, 2 lines per row and 3 rows!!! Can you say….We will never be able to watch all of these movies? Not if we start now and watch movies daily for years! But am I done yet? No…..

This wind chime hung in her back bedroom. She had hundreds of wind chimes in her house. This is one of the three left. Hubby dearest hates wind chimes, so of course I had to get one! Every time he hears it and grumbles he can think of Grandmother M. I have to find a tree or somewhere to put it, it is too long to hang in my house anywhere, but for the time being it will hang right there next to the door so he can grumble every time he walks through the door and hits it. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

This breadbox is outside because, well, the dirt dobbers have built a hundred and one nest in it and I am still trying to figure out how to get all the ones hidden in the back out. But once I do, it will go proudly on my counter and hold all of my bread and cakes and such. Hey, I have to hide the shit somewhere or the kids eat it all. It is forever old and handmade. The girls had no use for it, I guess.

All of the outdoor figures were up for grabs, well, what they didn’t want and when I saw these little adorable ducks, I had to have them.

And The Boy wanted the squirrel. I haven’t a clue why, but he had yet to get anything and I told him to get it. I will use it in the garden.

This isn’t the huge bird bath that I had to paint every year, but I had to paint this one fairly often, there is suppose to be an angel sitting in the middle on a little stand, but someone helped themselves to the angel. I will plant some sort of flower in it and maybe put the silly ducks in it.

This dog, I intended to pant solid white until I was informed that it was a Dalmatian and therefore must have black spots. He is in need of another good painting, but I will make him a Dalmatian again.

This flower came from someone’s funeral, Grandmother kept it, they were going to throw it away. I figured I could bring it home and kill it. heh!!

All in all I was up there for about 6 hours! I had really planned to only take a few minutes, but being the sweetie that I am, I stayed to help others haul their stuff to cars and trucks. The rest of the day I spent recovering form toting all that shit around. (Do you know how much those boxes of VHS tapes weighed? Me neither, but they were too heavy for my weak ass!)

Easter Sunday…….The Bunny showed up and he left way less candy. Finally a smart bunny! (I have to admit, I threw away Halloween candy at Christmas, Christmas  candy at Valentine’s….After a few days, the draw of candy around here dies.) Little Miss did get a DS game, not the one she wanted, she will still have to save her money for that one. But DANG she looked PRETTY!!!!!

MIL and my mom both had dinners. One at 2 and one at 4! I ate waaayyyy to much! SO for Easter, I was just a fat miserable COW! I know there is a reason for these holidays and I wish I could focus on the reason and not the food. heh!!

Brings us to Monday……I had a VIRUS! Or maybe it was just too much food the day before, but whatever it was, I was sick all day! I had such big plans, post, clean, wash, you know BIG plans….NAH! I laid on the couch and read all day and was miserable. I even called in sick at Plurk! I am telling you it was awful!

But Tuesday……OMG!!!!!!! I woke up with NO PAIN!!!! And ENERGY!!!!!! I was scared SHITLESS all day! It has been ages since I was pain free and had energy! I literally glided around the house and cleaned!!! I scared The Boy and his buddy (might as well be my kid too so I ignored the startled looks and kept on going.) I was actually bouncing when I tried to sit still! I swear I waited for the crash and for my legs to absolutely fall out from under me forcing me to drag myself to the couch! IT. NEVER. HAPPENED. I swear I yawned at 6pm, but I wasn’t tired! I wasn’t sleepy at 10pm!

I got up and washed 10 loads of clothes, folded them and put them up! I cleaned my room, both bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room and laundry room! I swear I even dusted the crap on the walls! It wasn’t a great cleaning job since I was waiting for the HUGE crash and the desperate need for a nap, but oh, Hell, it felt so good!

I even *looks around to make sure the ones who control everything aren’t listening* I got HUNGRY!!!!! Actually felt hungry, I haven’t had that sensation in over 2 years!!!! Do you know how good food taste when you are actually hungry and not just eating because you know you have to? Twice I got hungry!!!! Now don’t get me wrong, my body does have its way of reminding me I have to eat, I get the shakes because my sugar gets low, but I do not get that “hungry” feeling. Occasionally my stomach will growl, maybe three times in the last year, but hunger pangs????Not in a long time! I thought I would love that I don’t get hungry, but I don’t. Well, after the initial couple of weeks I decided that food doesn’t taste as good when you are eating out of necessity instead of hunger. And the fact that when I eat when I am not hungry my stomach signals me that I am full after only a couple of bites, so I have to keep eating even though it is making me sick. Really it SUCKS!!!! But yesterday…..It was GREAT!!!!!!!

To say I was in a great mood would be the understatement of the century!!!!!! I rocked! I LAUGHED! I told The Boy if he ruined my buzz I would KILL him!!! They really wanted to know what I had took. heh!! Something about saying No to Drugs, whatever…… Hubby swears they screwed up on my meds. That they gave me the wrong pills on accident. But he isn’t complaining, he likes me like this. I had too much energy to sit down much yesterday, I even recovered my sewing table chair!!!

Today? I still have energy and I am more or less still pain free!!!!!! I hope it last for a few weeks, my house needs a good cleaning and my flower garden…..And I have painting to do…..I have so much energy I am sitting in my “new to me” desk chair and rocking it and spinning it and absolutely driving the sleeping dog at my feet crazy!! Haven’t shown you my new chair? Well here it is….

It needs cleaning, but boy is it comfy!!!!

And since I brought up the critters, here are a few of them……

This is Daisy, she was not happy with the pictures I was taking of the other animals, but she hated the flash when I took this one of her. I swear sometimes she can not be made happy.

Rowdy boy, is growing like a weed! I swear just a few days ago he could walk under that table!

And speaking of GROWING!!!! Aubie is running the show in the box now! They are eating a bit of food and when they can get a drink without it going up their nose and making them sneeze, they love their water.

Bugsy is a bit of a lazy ass! I think we will get along just fine. We have so much in common. His eyes are HUGE!!!! But the right one is messed up. He scratched it pretty bad when he was tiny and I think it really screwed it up. It is a bit smaller and it is a little cloudy. But it really doesn’t seem to bother him.

I think I will run (possibly literally, I swear I have so much energy this morning!) I do believe I have a child’s room that is a disaster area and I am going to blow through there and start chunking stuff out the window. OK, maybe I will just clean it up and search out the little present I believe Rowdy left in there and Little Miss complains about the smell but does nothing about finding it. I have looked but so far no gift has been found, maybe under some of those toys that are scattered across the room……or maybe Little Miss has just had a lot of gas……Whatever the cause I will be getting rid of the smell someway today! I also think I will watch Twilight, considering I have the house to myself today!!!!! So busy, busy, busy! Until next time….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mood

Or maybe it should be….Why is everyone trying to piss me off? Ever just get up in the morning  and just be in a bad mood? And every little thing just pushes you further and further to the edge of sanity? Or is that insanity? A few days ago (or according to my pain in the ass husband, a few weeks ago) I woke up and opened my eyes and thought, “Oh, shit this ain’t going to be a good day.” And it wasn’t. And it hasn’t improved since. I haven’t a clue why I woke up and I was in a funk to end all funks. I blame hormones, I blame the animals, I blame the kids, I blame the ass husband. There is more than enough blame to pass around and really I just can’t bring myself to blame myself. I mean really I have enough problems without blaming myself for a bad mood. heh!

So what you ask is the main problem? I don’t have a freakin clue. Maybe I had a dream and it set off some horrendous mood. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I haven’t gotten a lot of sleep here lately. But whatever the cause it is here and for some reason everyone is trying to push me over the edge. Why don’t they just see that and stop the shit? (Of course they don’t see that speaking to me sometimes is enough to push my buttons. OOPS!)

Really it is not anything major, it is just a bunch of small, stupid shit. Hubby thinks it is because he started a new job. No I don’t think so, well the job isn’t really the cause but more of one of those things to push me. I really think it is because I am hurting and not sleeping and then they just push and push until I am ready to blow. Why do people do that? So what is pushing me over the edge….

The hormones…..Could be. I am having hot flashes at times that I swear are five alarm fires! Sometimes it is a mild hot flash, where suddenly I feel the need to yank off all clothing and run through freezing water. Others times I feel the need to call the fire department. What is it they call that? Perimenopausal? Would you believe they say this shit can last like 10 years before you actually hit menopause? Oh, Hell No, I will kill someone before then. Won’t make it stop but might make me feel better temporarily. heh!

The animals……..Well, the two in heat are about out of it. No real dripping but they are not out of the woods yet. So no cable for them and definitely no just putting them out to run. And they won’t keep their asses off the carpet! The other two fight or scuffle all the time. And Rowdy is still housebreaking so there is a lot of pee to clean up. Miley has decided she is tired of the kittens and really just wants to come in and eat and let them whine because she doesn’t want to feed them. Then jump out of the box and lay on the kitchen table. Uh, No that isn’t going to happen. The kittens just don’t get it. But they are attempting to eat the food now. Its nothing new, but for some reason it is driving me nuts.

The kids….Nothing more than normal. The bitching, griping, complaining, the laziness, you know all the shit they always do. Their rooms need cleaning. They don’t want to get up in the mornings.  They are absolutely no help around the house. They eat all the time and never clean up behind themselves.

Little Miss is her same sassy self. All the attitude she can muster. But for some reason her smart ass remarks are grinding my last nerve. Her attitude towards me hasn’t gotten worse, but my nerves have. She suddenly decided she is completely helpless and can’t so much as make her own drink until I have blown a gasket and told her to die of thirst then! Sandwiches, impossible. That room, if you can call it that, a complete disaster area! I think Hurricane Katrina did less damage than that room is seeing.

The Boy, well, he just doesn’t want to get up in the morning and for some reason I am at my last straw. I feel like dumping him off the mattress. The other big monsters who visit (work) here daily. Just being 3 year olds, despite them being between the ages of 17 and 21. They scuffle and argue constantly. Usually I enjoy it, lately I think they just need a beating. And they eat all the food! Nothing is safe! They will drink the last of the tea! And not tell me until I go to get me a glass. That just pisses me off. I adore these boys and I love them being here every day, but….can you say last nerve? I want a nap, they want to watch a movie in the living room. I hit the bed and they start fighting. They really are just big toddlers.

The husband……Just his normal shit. Picking and aggravating. Only for some reason instead of taking it in my normal smart ass way, I am taking it personally. Every poke just drives me insane. It is the simple shit. He will say shit like, “I will get that in a little while, don’t worry about.” Well, a little while never comes. Or “Don’t do that, you aren’t in any shape to do it.” Well, if I don’t do it, it will not get done. And quite possibly the worst thing,” Are you reading again? Don’t you ever do anything else?”  Well make up your freakin mind! Don’t do anything or do something, you can’t have it both ways!

And then the odd little things…….I have read every book I have in this house (Twilight twice) and I can’t seem to find anything to do. I went to the library (Yeah, got me one of those library cards and everything), they didn’t have the Twilight series in and it has a reserve as long as my arm. I told hubby I had no interest in going, I would get the books at some point, but he would have none of it. And The Boy said he was taking me because he was tired of hearing me fuss about not having anything to read. (He asked why I was reading Twilight again, I told him I had read everything else. Hum is that harping on and on?) He actually had a fit that I wouldn’t get anything. I guess I should have gotten something just to shut him up! But I couldn’t find anything that looked interesting.

Being a *small town* library, they don’t have a lot of selection (mainly donated books, and I have found that people around here have taste in their ass.) It is hard to find anything, the setup is small and I think that has a lot to do with it. Of course they have 2 complete sets of the Twilight series and the lady didn’t understand why they stayed out all the time. WOOHOO 2 Complete sets! Now that is BIG TIME! I enjoy Jan Karan, they had 1 of her books and it was the 3rd or 4th book in the series I myself already own. Any suggestions people? I can’t read spooky books since I am often up later than everyone else and I have to walk through a dark house. So no Stephen King or Dean Koontz…..Something to hold my interest but not so much that I sit up til 4am to finish it. I think a dozen people have said they would bring me the last two books of the Twilight series and I sit here scratching my watch and winding my ass waiting! I hate when people do that!

Now the “new” job…..I am quickly remembering why I hate a truck in the yard. I can not make plans for Saturday or Sunday because there could be work that has to be done. Whether necessary or not. And just because the last load is hauled doesn’t mean the workday is over.

My husband loves to piddle on trucks. Making them look snazzy and such with lights and paint. He hates to drive a dirty truck and can make a cleaning last all day. So between the breakdowns that he fixes and the piddling he wants to do, it pretty much just keeps him busy and it drives me crazy. His boss doesn’t require that he fix things, but he can do it and he thinks he should be the one to fix it. The alternator that went out, the head bolt that was broke and the thermostat that quit working, the lights that shorted out, and the other half a dozen things he thought should be fixed. He enjoys doing that shit, but he was out until almost 11pm one night, come on there has to be a limit to the craziness.

And then there is the fact that he adores his new boss and will loafer with him all day. I don’t mind if he loafers, but I see many loafer days ahead and I do get bored and I wish he would loafer with me on occasion. Without bitching the whole time. He enjoys it so much, I hate to mention that I would like a smidgen of his time on occasion.

See really the little things are just setting me off lately. Being told don’t wash the dishes “they” will get them later and waiting until the next day and doing them myself. Being told leave Little Miss’ room alone that she is going to clean it and after 2 weeks it looks way worse. Don’t vacuum…I gave in after a week. Don’t mop….Lasted a week and a half. Go back in the house….I am BORED!!!! Take a nap…..Damn kids won’t allow that. Smart ass remarks…..I throw them right back. And the biggest thing that has gotten me……Kids are calling the house and they are calling me……Ma’am…..Oh……….Until next time……….

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!! (ma’am??? I am going to get my walker now.)

Grandmother M

Grandmother M passed away peacefully on April 4, 2009, a mere ten days before her 94th birthday. She left behind 6 children, 18 grandchildren, 33 great-grandchildren, 9 great great-grandchildren and a host of nieces and nephews who loved her dearly.   She was greeted by her husband and 2 of her daughters when she passed. As she drew her last breath she was surrounded by a few of the people who loved her dearly and took care of her daily. Others were just outside the door to her makeshift bedroom, laughing and reminiscing about the past. Still others were unable to be there but felt the loss immediately.

She was not my grandmother. But she was my grandmother for over half of my life. She wasn’t there when I was born. She wasn’t there as I learned to walk. She wasn’t there for the first birthdays. But she was there as I started that scary life as a wife. As with any grandmother she was full of advice, whether I asked for it or not. She often told me stories from her marriage that both entertained me and scared the hell out of me. She often gave me advice on raising my children, but never insisted I take it (though I know she wanted me to.)

She was the Ice Cream Lady to most of the great-grandchildren, forever giving them ice cream cones or candy whenever they visited. She kept small toys to give them whenever they came over. She told me once, with a smile on her face, that she had to bribe them to come see her and she would continue to bribe them as long as it worked. She knew as well as I did, they didn’t have to be bribed, that she just wanted to give them gifts. And besides the ice cream and candy was the real pull. heh!

As many stories as she told me over the years, I learned a lot at her funeral and at her home afterwards. Some she never shared because she didn’t want to sound as if she was bragging. She was a Charter member of her church and stood beside her husband and helped build it, even dragging the logs that were to be used. She was the oldest living member of the church. They bought their home and the 80 acres surrounding it in 1946. It was 5 years old and had a total of 2 rooms. As it stands now it has 7 rooms including a closed in back porch. She stood with her husband and worked to enlarge the house as the family grew. Can you believe that they raised 8 children in that house? Grandmother told me many times that she wanted a large family and by golly, she got it. It breaks my heart that the home she loved for all those years will be tore down soon. It will not be the same looking across that field. Granddaddy F made sure all of the kids got one acre of that land when they married and Grandmother has sold it only to family. Most of this road is related in some way or the other.

In 1956, she lost her baby girl. She was hit by a truck as she crossed the road to go to her 2nd day of 1st grade. Ten years later, she lost her oldest  daughter in a car wreck. She practically raised the 5 children that her daughter left behind. She said they were never a burden, that she would have done it for any of her children. In 1984, she lost her husband. She missed him until the day she died. Through it all, her faith in God guided her through the tough times. She always knew she would see them again.

In the last year, her faith in God has remained but the faith she had in some of her children has been questioned. I have spoke of it before and will not speak of it again except to say they will stand in judgement one day. The lady I saw in that casket didn’t even look like the lady I have loved for so many years. I have wished many times I had not viewed her before they closed the casket for the final time. I wish they had stuck to their decision to keep the casket closed and not opened it for the family. I question so many of their decisions regarding Grandmother M and her funeral.

My first question would have to be….How could they have treated her the way they did after all she did for them? Followed closely by…..What the hell is wrong with these people? Do they not have a heart at all? She passed at 8pm on Saturday night (her body was not picked up until 10:30pm), they actually asked the funeral home if she could be buried on Sunday afternoon! WTF? The funeral home said the earliest they could have her ready would be Sunday evening. So Monday it was. They had no visitation to speak of, 2 hours before the funeral, that was all. They didn’t originally want a funeral, just graveside services. Her brother spoke up and said Grandmother wouldn’t have wanted that. They had a funeral with a very short graveside service. A lot of her family could not get off work on such short notice and many were unable to get here on that short of notice. The obit wasn’t even in the paper until Monday and many didn’t see it until after the funeral.

They buried her Monday at 1pm and after her burial, the family went to Grandmother M’s house to eat food brought in by the church. It was at that time they announced that if you wanted something personal of Grandmother M’s to speak up and if 2 or more people wanted it they would draw numbers to see who got it. Yes, 2 hours after her funeral they were emptying the house.  Some of the grandchildren were vultures, grabbing anything….I left before it got started. I expressed my desire to have one of the outdoor items I had painted for her over the years to my SIL and did not go back up there.

Little Miss requested a small angel doll. Grandmother kept these small porcelain dolls there to give her when she visited, she asked for the angel one. They haven’t found it yet, but whenever they run across an angel, they called Little Miss and asked her if she wanted it. She came home with these…..

She also received 2 of the many stuffed animals Grandmother had. She is very happy to have those but still truly wants the angel doll. I hope they find it. Hubby requested a ceramic motorcycle he painted as a child…

He said the one he painted had a red suit on, but this is the one MIL said was his. He is happy to have it for the memory. Each grandchild got one of her many bells……

Red made sure I got the cherub sleeping in Jesus’ hand that I painted her for Christmas too many years ago to remember….

And I did get one of the yard decorations that I painted. This one has a story behind it and I am glad I got it. It is a raccoon, I told her that raccoons were brown and black with a bit of white. She said, “No they are gray.” I said, “No I don’t think so.” “Yes, they are gray.” “The ones in books are brown.” “No, raccoons are gray.” “No really I think they are brown, let me go and get a picture.” “No, they are gray. I have gray paint. They are gray.” ” OK, Gray it is.” Never argue with that woman! It needs painting again, she was sick last summer and I didn’t paint them. When I paint him…..He will be gray again.

One last thing I want to share and I will go….. Red took very good care of Grandmother M. Often going against the wishes of some of the children. If Grandmother wanted it, she got it….Turnip greens and cornbread, red flowers, Christmas decorations, you name it, she got it. She was with her when she took her last breath. She gave her a good bath before the funeral home got her. (Grandmother could not stand the thought of leaving the house without a bath.) She put her on a clean gown. She crossed her arms peacefully on her stomach.She was able to tell her goodbye. She made sure she had panties to wear for the funeral. (One of Grandmother’s great fears, eternity without underwear.) It was the small things that no one thought of. I have told her how proud I am of her. I am very proud of her. She was strong throughout the whole time, up to and including the division of personal items. And I must admit I was quite shocked when they gave her special thanks in the obituary and at the funeral. I never thought the children would acknowledge all that Red did for Grandmother.

Rest in Peace Grandmother M and I hope to see you when my time comes.