I want a BowFlex body…..

You’ve seen these on TV. You know some, somewhat, pudgy person uses it and in 2 months they have rock hard abs and not an ounce of fat to be found. Even grandmas can look like they have never had a child. Hubby made the comment we needed a Bow Flex so WE could get into shape. AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I look at all of those nice little bands and wonder exactly how long it would take me to get wound up in those bands and die. At the very least I would expect for them to break and slap me around a bit. To say I am an accident magnet would be an understatement. I can almost see me pulling one of those bands to set the weight and it coming loose and slapping me silly.

Though I would love to have one, I really can’t see spending the money for a fancy clothes holder. Because you know that is what happens to exercise equipment or at least it is what happens around here. I use it for a few days and then I throw a pair of pants on it and the next thing you know the damn thing is covered in dust and clothes. Doesn’t do a whole lot of good if you don’t use it. They claim it is so easy that you will effortlessly lose weight and you will keep using it. Just a few months and you will look so good that you will want to keep it up. Yeah right! I figure you would be so sore after the first day, if you could move, you would only use your mouth to cuss the damn thing out. Or maybe that would be the only part of you that you would be able to use. HA!

I don’t do well with exercise, I swear my body rejects the idea completely. Every time I start an exercise program, I throw out my back or sprain an ankle, something, anything. My body would rather be in major pain than to do a few exercises. I hear walking is a great exercise, I really think that I could pull that one off. My body wouldn’t even know it was doing it, it would just assume that I was trying to get somewhere. heh! Of course with the dogs on the road, an attack could put that idea in the wind. I used to own a bicycle, actually rode it. Hubby dearest gave it away because….1…. I never rode it anymore….2……..he was just waiting for the injury he was sure was coming…….and 3…..if I rode I wanted him to ride with me. So no more bike.

I have tried yoga. AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That would have been HI LAR I OUS!!!!! Only I was so sore, I couldn’t move.  Some of the moves they expect a person to do……..AH HAHAHAHAHA! Something on the lines of  put your foot behind your head and breath. AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Or at least that might as well be what they said, what they said wasn’t much easier for me. There is a reason those yoga instructors all look like a twig.

I tried Pilate’s. Not quite as difficult as yoga, but still AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Another one that kicked my ass. Maybe it has something to do with all the giggling I do as I am trying to do the exercises. The positions they require you to put your body in…..My body refuses to go into them.

I did Richard Simmons Sweating to the Oldies,I figured if those larger women could do it, I could do it. I have a secret…….Those women are waaaayyyy more flexible and energetic than I will ever be! I did it with my mom, we laughed off more calories that we sweated off. But we had fun.

So for now it looks like I will be watching what I eat and moving around more. And drinking water UGH. I hate water, I thought about flavoring it, but I really don’t like the sounds of the flavors…what do they have…..jock sweat…sewer water….swamp water….or at least that might as well be the names.

Well, I am off to waste away another day doing not much of anything. Maybe I will watch Twilight again *swoon* perhaps getting my heart going will accomplish something. *The guy gets cuter with every viewing…those eyes, that smile* Until next time………

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!